Moving from country to city as a lp. What would you do?

[poshsinglemum]

I grew up in the country but moved away to do uni etc. When I got pregnant I moved back near my parents' house.
I just feel like I am back where I started and there aren't many opportunities here for my career. True there are many plus sides to living her with a child; all the schools are good, low crime, not too much pollution etc. BUT I found growing up as a teen here boring.

I'm thinking of moving to the big smoke. Mabe Bristol, bath or London. Would London be unbearable as a single mum?Mabe it's best to commute to the city?

Commuting is tough - it can add hours on to your day. But moving away from the grandparents can be hard if you are moving to a place with no supports. And the life you thought was boring as a teen might be just what you want for your child (even if they don't want it for themselves). Lots of excitement + immature decision-making capabilities = trouble. Of course, boredom can lead to lots of trouble too and teens have the unique ability to be bored anywhere and everywhere.

The best question to ask yourself is what kind of life you'd be able to give your child in a city as opposed to where you are now. What are the pros and cons to both? Which do you feel most comfortable with in your role as parent?

I grew up in the country and my ex and I lived in a village in Somerset for years. When I left, I moved to Bristol and I am so glad I did. I thought I would hate it as I always loved the coutry, but I really enjoy it and it's the best decision I made.

Rural life is just so much more conventional and is really where Daily Mail values are alive and well. You don't have to think like that or necessarily live like that, but there so much less diversity that people are going to treat you differently as a single parent. It won't always be in a negative way - it can be less lonely, people will look out for you etc. But you will be seen primarily as a single mother or the (your parents' name)'s girl who's on her own with a child.

I just don't stand out as much here, people have lots of different types of families. Schools, childminders, Rainbows - they're just much more used to it so it doesn't faze them.

Suprisingly my daughter prefers it much more even at the age of five - there's just so much more to do. We used to go and see the chickens at the end of the lane for entertainment. There's also loads more kids in town, you can walk to most people's houses, I've already got a promotion at work and it takes 15 minutes to get from work to home via the childminders.

I used to spend 2.5 hours a day commuting, doing that as a single parent would have been a killer. My ex was frequently away and I usually took DD to nursery etc. myself and it was really difficult, but at least he cooked. Getting in at 6.15pm each day and then cooking, shower, story etc. would be very hard.

We meet in Bristol on a Friday morning for coffee - why don't you come and meet us one time?

I'm a somerset lass and yes- tis easy to be pigeonholed but yet feel starngely accepted. The village idiot perhaps! Would love to meet up.

Hey when youn Bristol mums meeting up Morning would be hard for me but some pm meets would be doable. I'm alost soul atm.

PSM, we do tend to meet on Friday mornings. Keep posting on here and work out what you want from where you live. Job? Childcare? Toddler groups? It'll help you work out what is right for you.

I live in London as a single parent. I grew up here and have family here, so am in a different position to you.

I enjoy living here and I'm often surprised when I read about the lack of services in more rural locations - public transport, availability of schools, shops etc. There's free transport for children in London and lots of free activities for children on offer like museums.

London is often criticised for being unfriendly, but I feel very self-conscious as a single parent and I am much more comfortable here than I would be in a village where everyone knows my business. The diversity here is great.

The downside is the cost of housing and childcare - neither affect me as I'm in council housing and my family help out with childcare. It's much higher than in many other regions so I would do a lot of research first to check you can manage it.