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What is reasonable for access visits?

4 replies

Elmarjerita · 09/10/2010 10:54

Dh recently left me with 1yo ds. Hes staying with a friend who smokes and has a very non babyproofed flat so he can't take ds there, hes been coming over every night which is great for ds but I'm finding it hard to see him every day. Hes taken him out today but they'll be back this afternoon and I have nowhere to go so will have to stay in the kitchen out of exs way. My friends and family have been quite rubbish, I'm feeling quite let down at their lack of support tbh as I could really do with some company when xh has ds but everyones busy doing their own thing. I don't want to limit ex spending time with ds as hes a great dad and ds adores him, does anyone have any ideas on what I can do? I'll probably go for a long walk today as the weathers nice but I can't really do that when its raining and I hate being here when hes here!

OP posts:
Elmarjerita · 09/10/2010 10:55

Sorry thats really jumbled Blush

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LadyFantastic · 09/10/2010 10:58

That sounds really tough. At the weekend, can't ex take DS out?

freedomfrom · 09/10/2010 11:04

Cant XP take him to his mums at w/e or other family. You dont have to have him in your house.

How about indoor play centres etc etc? Just mention to him that although you are happy for him to see DS, you would prefer that you had some more privacy etc. Sureley he would understand.

Also, could it be moved to every other night he comes round to see him? Its not really conducive to you moving on with your life. What happens in the future when you meet someone new? There would be no privacy at all. I think its important that you put in place some boundaries for yourself.

Its XP responsibility to find a place for them to go, not for you to provide that. Smile

Elmarjerita · 09/10/2010 11:10

Family are 200 miles away and ex doesn't drive. I think we need to have a conversation soon about this but its really early days and I don't really know what the done thing is in this situation! I will always put ds first and he loves spending time with his daddy so I'm reluctant to cut the visits back but I'm really finding it hard atm

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