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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

26K CUT affecting you or am I the only one?

158 replies

Feli · 08/10/2010 09:59

I am a 25yr old Lone parent to one. Not planned I was abandoned by her father.

Begining of this week I was crying over how cold me and my child are at home as we cant afford heating or hot water (all wired up to electric) and the flat is so cold as its the end of the building, my child has a cold because of it.

I am also paying off the electric debt for which I used to survive last winter which is why I have barely any money to cook more than once a week let alone bills.

I moved where I live 2 years ago after the flat I was living in before got broken into and ransacked my daughter was 8days old, I had 4 days to find somewhere. The rent went from £500 a week to £340 a week after cuts were made to this postcode early this year. I have no family, I am completely by myself and last night I calculated my annual Benefit. Its £3K.

Watching QuestionTime worried me even further to hear the attitudes, I AM shaking like a leaf, I have been crying all night - the cuts they are making seems to be on the basis of people having loads of children to get more benefits to live a high lifestyle but there are genuine situations like mine who are in this circumstance not willy nilly.
I dont know what is going to happen to my daughter and I. I have just found her a school and we have well and truely nested.

When my child is in pre-school I will be running to university to get a degree which I will only get help to do if I am not working(i think)...

You know all I want to do is bring home the bacon, I dont have enough qualifications to get a job better than a telephonist, I just want to study so I can get a REAL paying job cos at the moment whatever I earned will open more expenses the debt repayments wil be increased, I will have to pay part of my rent, I will lose discounts on my electric, and so much more but worst of all I wont be able to study as I cant afford it.

I am NOT work shy or see benefits as a way of life!
Sorry for rambling but I am all over the place.

Thank you

OP posts:
becstarlitsea · 08/10/2010 17:59

Glad you've had good news Feli.

I read in the Guardian that only 50,000 families will be affected by this cut - in terms of the number of people claiming benefits it's a tiny proportion. I do think it's sensible that you shouldn't be able to claim more in benefits than the average wage, so I'm not attacking the measure itself just the way it's been reported in the media. You'd think that most people on benefits are on more than 26k and masses of people would be walking into Cash Convertors with their flatscreens while we paid off the deficit with the saved money. I doubt we'll save more than a million or so, which isn't going to help with the deficit.

I wonder what the ACTUAL cuts are going to be? Scarey...

Journey · 08/10/2010 19:01

So if you go to uni and get a degree do you think you're going to walk into a job with a salary greater than 23k? The hard reality will hit you when you have to pay rent out of your own pocket rather than the tax payers'.

whiteandnerdy · 08/10/2010 19:07

What so reality is harder when your not claiming benefits, than when you are?

whiteandnerdy · 08/10/2010 19:08

Goodness I'm really grumpy on this thread !?!?!

Journey · 08/10/2010 19:13

Whiteandnerdy are you for real?! You have to go out and earn the money. Talk about stating the obvious.

whiteandnerdy · 08/10/2010 19:31

Unfortunately I'm real. What about all those stay at home mothers/farthers that look after the children while their spouses goto work. Are you saying their being lazy and living off of their partners, while there spouse is doing all the 'real' work?

I have no problem in giving some of my earnings to provide for individuals that don't have the kind of support that a regular income provides in order that their children can enjoy a happy and productive childhood.

And yes there are individuals that will take advantage and be greedy and lazy simply not bothering to goto work. But then again there are greedy bankers in the city that are making a packet and I really don't see how sociaty benefits from these peoples activities either, but I do think that taking care of our next generation is very important.

However people who decide not to work and look after their families arn't paid on performance, no matter how well or how poor they do it. They simply all get lumped into the same pot of scroungers, sigh.

FattyArbuckel · 08/10/2010 19:42

This is a harsh reality of life that affects everyone. There are many parts of the UK that I can't afford to live in.

Right now I am thinking I need to sell my house and move to a cheaper area because I work in the public sector and times are hard and getting harder financially for us.

Why would or should you be any different, just because you are on benefits? Yes its hard but tbh it is taking the piss to be receiving £30k in benefits with one child as you have been doing when many working families do not earn this much. Surely you can see that?

whiteandnerdy · 08/10/2010 19:53

No your right, 30K for a single child seems like madness to me too, but what about my friend who has 5 children, well a mentally disabled 17 year old and 3 children that they've basically adopted after their siblings death, seems rather harsh to say, "hey your needs are more than the average familiy so we're going to cut the support you get because of your wreckless living means your not the average family." Mehh certainly control the costs of benifits fine, but a straight cap?? Really??

purits · 08/10/2010 19:55

I don't know how to put this tactfully ...

You seem to have got a bit confused about finances.
A lot of people have asked if going to Uni is really such a good investment for you.
May I suggest that you ask a friend to look again at the costs/benefits of you doing a degree?

whiteandnerdy · 08/10/2010 19:57

Sorry they have their own daughter as well, and also they have a 17/18 year old son still living with them. And I seem to remember they helped out another 16 year old lad for a year when he got thrown out by his parents. Yeah but hey their just scroungers right, they don't do anything really useful like people who work do they?

whiteandnerdy · 08/10/2010 20:02

purits - Certainly she should steer clear of studing math ... tee-hee-hee Grin

ColdComfortFarm · 08/10/2010 20:05

Some lovely sounding flats, some with three bedrooms and private gardens, for much less than you are paying now, and still in London. www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/Brockley.html?minPrice=700&maxPrice=1250&minBedrooms=2&displayPropertyType=flats&oldDisplayPropertyType=flats&index=10
I@m sorry actually think the state should not be supplying the equivalent of a 50K income to one healthy young person and a small child. What possible incentive is there to work? I earn much less than that!

FortunateHamster · 08/10/2010 20:10

I do think it's worth looking at the degree and what type of career you want and seeing if it's really necessary. I did an English degree, wanting to go into book publishing (which probably did need the degree), but am now in magazine publishing, with a company that doesn't put much weight in degrees but would rather look at experience/aptitude. Eg if you wanted to do journalism there may be shorter/cheaper routes in.

Then again my SIL is doing a nursing course and I can see that's absolutely invaluable as it qualifies her to go straight into a reasonably well-paying job.

Wanting to do courses/degrees/etc is a bit like wanting to live exactly where you like - sometimes you have to weigh up the costs and see if you can really do it/afford it, and whether the benefits are worth it.

In your case they probably are or you wouldn't be considering it but wanted to mention it just in case.

katerum · 08/10/2010 20:11

Cold if you read the thread, you would see OP done the maths wrong.

sarah293 · 08/10/2010 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lostFeelings · 08/10/2010 20:22

Have you tried to write down everything you spend?
After you've paid your rent you have around £1000 for both of you a month.
I would say even with high cost of electric heating (I have on and I know how expensive it gets) you shouldn't have to go hungry....

Can you write down here all expenses you have?

teaandcakeplease · 08/10/2010 20:24

I'm a lone parent too.

Have you seen this article in the news: www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-11427207 You maybe able to find a food bank near you to help you feed your child.

The only issue about moving into a new area is that your claim for benefits will be transferred to a new job centre and sometimes there can be a gap of a few weeks between benefit payments as they process you at the new job centre. You could apply for a crisis loan in the interim with them, or ask a friend or family member could help you in the interim? In the longer term however perhaps living somewhere cheaper is a better idea? Certainly would be less stressful for you financially.

I'm doing a course with the open university right now and can thoroughly recommend it.

teaandcakeplease · 08/10/2010 20:26

Riven's right actually that hadn't occurred to me. Sorry very tired Blush

katerum · 08/10/2010 21:08

Lost, the op does not have £1000 a month.
she did the maths wrong.

RedBlueRed · 08/10/2010 21:19

My goodness, I'm a single parent to one, I work full time but run a car and heat my house on about £18k. Admittedly I don't live in the london area but my luxuries are classes/events for ds and the odd few dozen pair of shoes for me.

Are your debts not just last winters' heating bills? I would look at the options available to you to reduce your debts.

I have got a degree, I studied over 6 years whilst working full time. I'm not convinced it is your fastest route into well paying work. I would look at other options available to you such as on the job training or any voluntary work to get you experience. Its got to be worth considering.

sincitylover · 08/10/2010 21:42

its all very well saying move but if you move out of London but still work there then any decrease in rent will probably be offset in travel costs.

I live in London but do work - the West End is about four miles from where we live - I live in a modest area but rents are still high (probably inflated by our close proximity to Canary Wharf and the City)

My dcs are settled here and I don't want to disrupt their education. Plus I am close by should there be any emergencies and have a good support network locally.

DS1 is a teenager and is alone after school three nights per week until about 6. Wouldn't be fair to him to uproot him and then get home about seven.

I think I read somewhere that the taxes paid by people who live/work in London actually support the regions in terms of public expenditure.

If I moved and got a job locally then the salary would prob decrease so maybe it would be no different.

I do actually receive a small amount of housing benefit even though my salary is quite good - so go figure!

Do they seriously want medium income earners to relocate.

I don't begrudge my taxes being spent on WTC and CTC etc which many people throughout the country rely on to get by due to poorly paid jobs and high housing costs.

I would rather the government intervened in the structural problems in this country than beating people with sticks.

I agree that a degree isn't necessarily the route to better paying job however again are we saying that higher education is only for the rich?

I think that policies/cuts to be introduced by the current adminstration are designed to keep the vast majority of people in their 'place' and protect the interests of the most powerful and elite in society.

MollieO · 08/10/2010 22:08

I don't understand why the OP doesn't work as it seems she has a school age child (she mentions finding a school for her). If that is the case then I wonder why she isn't working?

RedBlueRed · 10/10/2010 06:41

"I agree that a degree isn't necessarily the route to better paying job however again are we saying that higher education is only for the rich?"

Not at all. It depends I suppose, what her priorities are. Were I in her situation my priorities would be the fastest route into work which pays enough to lift me out of the benefit trap because as her child gets older her access to benefits are going to dry up.

I have been made redundant twice in recent years, the first time ds was under 10 and the benefits experience was remarkable in that the system and the people seemed to bend over backwards to help me - I was on income support that time. The second time ds had turned 10 and I was not able to claim IS. The 'Jobseeker' was an altogether more hostile experience. And that was under Labour...

"I think that policies/cuts to be introduced by the current adminstration are designed to keep the vast majority of people in their 'place' and protect the interests of the most powerful and elite in society."

This is precisely what I have always understood the Tory party ethos to be. Grin

PaulineCampbellJones · 10/10/2010 07:01

MollieO her child is not even at pre school yet, read the OP.

MollieO · 10/10/2010 09:09

I did and it says 'I have just found her a school and we are truly nested' hence my question. Fwiw having a pre-school child doesn't preclude you from working either. I went back to work when Ds was 10 mths. I had planned to go back when he was 4 mths but he was too poorly. I had to get a bank loan to fund the additional 6 months that I'm still paying off.