26K CUT affecting you or am I the only one?

[Feli]

I am a 25yr old Lone parent to one. Not planned I was abandoned by her father.

Begining of this week I was crying over how cold me and my child are at home as we cant afford heating or hot water (all wired up to electric) and the flat is so cold as its the end of the building, my child has a cold because of it.

I am also paying off the electric debt for which I used to survive last winter which is why I have barely any money to cook more than once a week let alone bills.

I moved where I live 2 years ago after the flat I was living in before got broken into and ransacked my daughter was 8days old, I had 4 days to find somewhere. The rent went from £500 a week to £340 a week after cuts were made to this postcode early this year. I have no family, I am completely by myself and last night I calculated my annual Benefit. Its £3K.

Watching QuestionTime worried me even further to hear the attitudes, I AM shaking like a leaf, I have been crying all night - the cuts they are making seems to be on the basis of people having loads of children to get more benefits to live a high lifestyle but there are genuine situations like mine who are in this circumstance not willy nilly.
I dont know what is going to happen to my daughter and I. I have just found her a school and we have well and truely nested.

When my child is in pre-school I will be running to university to get a degree which I will only get help to do if I am not working(i think)...

You know all I want to do is bring home the bacon, I dont have enough qualifications to get a job better than a telephonist, I just want to study so I can get a REAL paying job cos at the moment whatever I earned will open more expenses the debt repayments wil be increased, I will have to pay part of my rent, I will lose discounts on my electric, and so much more but worst of all I wont be able to study as I cant afford it.

I am NOT work shy or see benefits as a way of life!
Sorry for rambling but I am all over the place.

Thank you

Hi Feli, while I do feel very sympathetic as you are so obviously distressed, unfortunately the cost of living in London is so prohibitive that perhaps this might mean you have to move somewhere cheaper, just as many people with children do - whether they have jobs or are on benefits.

I lived and worked in London for many years - really loved it, and felt very settled too. However, once our first child came along, we decided London was too expensive for us as an expanded family - and we are both graduates with professional careers. We now live in a lovely part of the country - a new area for both of us - and have made lots of new friends, and our children are now at school here. Crime is far lower than London, and our quality of life is great. It's also very easy to make new friends in a new area if you have a child!

Although you say you are settled, you say you have no family, no job and your child isn't yet at school - I would think now would be the perfect time to find a lovely place outside London to settle. Good luck.

I was brought up here and my parents have left. I mean good question so if you're planning of funding my flight to go to my family in Australia. So yes, harsh.

You're right, let me leave ALL I know...calls the removal van company

I was living in central London when I became pregnant with ds 9 years ago. I knew i was likely to become a single mum, wih ds's dad the way he was, so i moved to a country town,

Back then, I didn't understand how the benefits system worked so i thought that there was no way i could afford to live in such a pricey area.Sill me, eh?

It was for the best though-we now live in a much nicer area for dc's, although sometimes i miss urban living.

if i were you, OP, I'd do the same. Move now, before your dc starts school, to a cheaper rural area. and I'd think about Open University.

Also, if your cannot afford to feed your dc properly, you need to do SOMETHING whether it's getting more advice re:debt management or whatever. Otherwise, it's frankly neglectful.

And I'm speaking as someone whoonce had massive debts and lived on IS for 4 years. Still managed to give ds his 5 a day though.

1. Its so much easier to say you live in the lovely countryide when you are a couple.

2. the degree I am intended to do is in London. And its a rare package of a degree ( i will look into that again)

3. I dont like the attitude of 'why are you here? get out. ' I have set my dreams, goals and plans on the pathways London has offered.
   I am by myself and its what I know, I have a baby and being adventurous is not ideal as when it all fails who do we have?

The comfort of being here is I have planned it all out, distance to uni, everything you could possibly think of.

I would love to hear from someone who is also alone as nobody seems to come close to understanding how distressing this really is...

but again, while it may be more sensible to move to a new area.
Just think, how on earth would she achieve that? that takes hell of a lot of balls, at age 25. to up sticks totally on your own, with a child dependent on you and move somewhere totally new, knowing noone, and not where anythign is or anything.

Ive done it, but jeeze it was hard, and still 18 months on, i dont have that many friends locally, and certainally no good friends who i would confide in, or ask favors off.
AND, it was bloody hard work. Possible, but damn hard.

I can understand benefits being capped, and generally think its a good idea. but really, when the benefits are so high becuase of housing costs, ( ie - area) i kind of dont get it. maybe different caps need to be set to different areas???

Lots of people - even couples in good jobs - can't afford to live where they were brought up. That's life.

London is a fantastic place - but it isn't cheap, as you are finding out. I really think you should consider moving out of London before you have to apply for schools - and, in addition to the lower crime/better quality of life outside London, schools are generally better outside London too, especially at secondary level.

Also, once you have got your degree and have a job, surely you will prefer the lower rent anyway, as you will have to pay it yourself.

i do agree with pinkchaffinch - if the situation is that bad you should speak to a debt managment company and get montly payments reduced. Not being able to eat is not on.
No debt company are allowed to take so much money you cannot afford to feed yourself.

I have spoken to Shelter.

My tenancy ends middle of next year.

These changes will take affect before that point.

To leave before the contract expires will make me intentionally homeless and to leave after the contract also leaves me in an intentional homeless situation.
I will have to remain in the property to get a legal letter from the landlord evicting me to get any help from the council to find somewhere new to live.

and @PINK.
Excuse me, I am NOT neglecting my daughter she gets fed, sometimes it is not the 5 fruit a day plus meat variety. She is not hungry. Jesus Christ.

you said some days she eats cereal and you can only cook a meal once a week? And she is cold?

Okay as your tile asks NO you are not the only one who is going to be affected.

I live in a lovely town/Village in Surrey I moved here in August when I was working full time and able to afford the rent.
DD is now settled in a lovely school and making friends and I have had my working hours slashed in half thanks to budget cuts.( Not told offered Redudency or reduced pay and working hours in September) I was told to ring and get a HB form to help towards the rent but, I live in an expensive area and I can't move untill next August at the shortest and all the areas around here are just as expensive. Will I have to move and move my DD from a school she loves? Away from my family? Oh and the helpful advice I have been given " find a new job" ummmmm really where?

Yes that is the case @ Lemonade

She will eat cereal for breakfast and toast, yoghurt and banana for lunch and IF there is no dinner available she will have another type of cereal like a warm porraige.

Didnt realise that was neglect.

We are cold so we layer up.

I am very sympathetic to how distressed you are, as I said earlier. However, you are not going to get any less distressed staying where you are, not being able to eat or keep warm. We are trying to offer you solutions.

I live in a village, commutable to London. I know 3 single Mums who have moved here. They seem to be perfectly well integrated, particularly through school - which can be a great source of friendships for you and your child if you are new to an area, whether you are in a couple or on your own. However, perhaps moving to a town would be better for you? In many places around London you could rent a nice 2 bedroom HOUSE, with a GARDEN, for less than £1,000pcm - perhaps even for as little as £700/800pcm in some towns.

Alternatively, could you move somewhere cheaper within London, eg by moving out a zone or two? Which bit of London are you currently in? If you tell us, then perhaps we can help with suggestions to keep you in the area you know.

Feli - you dont have to move to the rural idyl.

Move to another large town with good commuter links to London if you must. What about Chelmsford, Colchester, Ipswich. It would be much cheaper. And those towns aere large enough to make friends and have similar facilities as London.

When you are working and supporting yourself you will appreciate living in a cheaper area, surely.

You will make friends quickly with a child. At our school I am friendly with three ladies who have moved from London as single parents for specifically the reason of cost. They have made friends and are very happy.

People are only trying to help. The fact is that you may not beable to live where you are unless you find a cheaper rent. It is madness what you are being forced to pay.

I still think rents will drop though.

Most people struggle, just our situations are all different, does the fact that your DH goes to work give you more validity in thinking you struggle, work harder than people who don't goto work, such as a single mother struggling to cope on her own?!?

I don't get this argument at all to be honest, surely if house prices, rent, wages are all proportionally higher in london. Then surely tax revenues, and the cost to society including benifits paid to the less fortunate of the society and those who need the support should simply increase in line with these increased costs. Rather than, forced econmoic migration to areas where it's simply cheaper to support those individuals. Yeah lets put them in work camps because that'll be even cheaper for the rest of society. OK OK, sorry got my socialist blood boiling .

Sorry I think I've been misunderstood - shouldn't have been so brief but was rushing off! I am that £30k isn't enough to afford heating. I am at the huge rent you are paying, it's a completely different world to where I am. We're in Scotland, I'm due to go back to work after maty leave in a weeks time. Between DP and I we'll be earning c£70k before tax, we have 2 DC, we have a nice detached 4 bed house which costs us c£1k per month in mortgage. We consider ourselves very well off (and lucky!). I am at the different standards of living across the country.

What about a coastal town? Weymouth, I know has some really cheap and nice rentals.

Frogety frog is right-it may seem daunting and unfair to have to make new plans and up sticks but many, many people have done it (single parents too) and it IS achievable.

White - I dont see that at all. Rents are massively lower in many good areas with good commuter links to London or B'ham.

Just because London prices are massively inflated does not mean the government should support it. Basically by capping at £25k they are supporting it to some extent as in many areas you would get nowhere near that amount in 'benefit' a year. In fact there has been shock since that was announced as the capping amount as most on benefits see nothing like that. Therefore london is being considered.

But there has to be a top figure. The only people profiting are the landlords otherwise and the taxpayer is losing.

No idea how you jump from economic migration (which has always been necessary around the world) to work camps.

"house prices, rent, wages are all proportionally higher in london. Then surely tax revenues, and the cost to society including benifits paid to the less fortunate of the society and those who need the support should simply increase in line with these increased costs."

Yeah great idea. Let the rest of the country, especially unemployment blackspots, subsidise over-inflated London prices.

@whiteandnerdy

Sorry, slight misunderstanding as I am typing with high emotions. I am not saying having a partner makes life financially better - even if it does. I am more so saying that its easier to take such jumps like up and leaving when you have the support of a partner, cos when it all goes wrong, you turn to each other and feed of each others strength, you are no alone.
I turned 25 3 weeks ago, I have been a single parent from when I was 6months pregnant, my relationship of 5years fell apart because of it. I have been alone since and very very fragile.

It is fair to say that I have just found my feet. Without going into too much detail I am finally strong enough again.

This right here with the cuts after cuts to the point where I am now being uprooted has knocked me for 6 and as much as I am figuring out then I am going to be kicked out of my 'home' being everything around me I am shaken at the thought of doing it alone, my dd's little friends, my FEW friends...I am going to be doing this alone, i am young and i just wish i had someone, my mum, just someone close to support me in all this because I am terrified :(

Thanks for all your replies.

You have a gross income of £40,750 and are struggling to survive???

The 'lovely countryside' is full of single parents some if whom work full time and commute to London to earn not much more than you receive for doing nothing. Im a lawyer and by the time you take my childcare and commuting costs off my gross salary your income is higher than mine. The difference being you get to spend all day with your child and I see my son for 1.5 hours a day during the week.

Mollie - op does have £1500 of that go in rent due to inflated London prices.

Feli - I was a lone parent some years ago and it does feel as tho you just can't get it right at times.

I think the general wave of prejudice against lone parents and 'benefit scroungers' is aimed at people who aren't even trying to do something to change/improve their situatio or get a job when they are able to (eg NOT disabled individuals o careers).

That could just be my opinion BUT stick to your job creating plans and your Uni ideas - you don't always have to move in order to get better housing / opportunities, although you would make new friends and you DC would settle if his became necessary.

Also with the housing you CAN join the LA housing list, even if you aren't deemed as having a great or pressing need.

Are you staying in the area your family is from - in some LAs they have social landlords (housing associations) which have planning 406 (I think) applications ie they are allowed to build / develop housing BUT have to priorotise people with a housing need who have a proven link to the area - details could be wrong as it was over 7 years since I benefited from one of these weird planning things.

BTW I was fortunate and already qualified (mostly) when I became a LP, but I managed to get back on my feet and get a job, car etc and a bit more security even before I met DH.

Have you spoken to the lecky company about paying back the bills and what electric heating do you use?

Good Luck with your plans.

That is significantly less than my childcare costs and mortgage. I'm truly gobsmacked.

Feli - again, I am very sorry that you are so distressed.

You imply that your parents live in Australia. Do you have any other family - aunts, cousins, etc - anywhere in the UK?