a White man.
I am White too.
DS's Dad is Black.
I just wondered if anyone else had any experience of this, and if a mixed race child is likely to feel even more of an odd one out in the family, if younger siblings are all white and not like him?
I want to think through the issues he will face.
He currently sees his Dad every week, and hopefully will be able to have a mature conversation to work through any issues both with his Dad and I.
I will want to help DS protect his biracial identity, and yet, if we start a family I will want him to feel a part of it, belonging as much as any younger siblings he may have in the future.
I'm just thinking ahead to the future, and wondering if DS will/would feel uncomfortable walking with Mum, stepDad, and younger sibling and being the only non-white, and I really, really hope I can avoid that.
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Mixed race DS and I'm dating
Dominique07 · 08/10/2010 01:08
Since you're asking why I would be worrying about this, I racked my brains and came up with an explanation.
I get told my my ex that mixed race children see themselves as black, similarly that DS wont want anything to do with me when he finds out how I left him (DS's Dad) and he will reject his white family and want to hang around with black and mixed race children and family. Also that, he (DS's Dad) will be telling DS how my family thought we were too young to have children and advised us to have an abortion.
Obviously, I do not belive his words to be fact, but I don't forget them. And he doesn't even know I am seeing someone, let alone what colour.
Anyway, you've all been very reassuring. 
FWIW DS1 is now 10 - and he hangs around with mostly white kids - although it's a very mixed school in terms of race
I just asked DS1 (very randomly LOL) if he knew what I meant by race, he said yes and listed white, black, etc etc.
I asked him what he thought himself as and he said "both" - because I'm white and his dad is black.
And now he's explaining to me how his beset friend is white, but apparently not quite white 
(he's definitely white the best friend LOL)
And now he's glued to Horrid Henry again 
Ds is 8 and very aware that he is the only light brown boy in our family (no contact with dad).
the other day he said that this made him the most important person in the family
I'm glad i've raised him to have such high self-esteem but am now wondering if it's gone too far!
My fiancee (been with us since ds was 4) was very conscious at first of people's glances when we were out and about (we live in a predominantly white rural are) but this had the effect of making him protective of ds.
I think you're wise to be thinking about things now-it was certainly on my mind a lot when I was dating, and I brought the subject of ds into convos very early on to weed out any racists.
Good luck!
Yes, maybe he doesn't need to think himself more important than everyone. (namechanged, Dominique07)To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.