One cheesed of dad looking for friends

[DaddyMcPhee]

Hello Mumsnet,

I'm not sure if i'm allowed on this website, but I guess I will soon find out if i'm not.

I'm a 30 year old father of two from London.

I'm on this website because I would like to join some sort of parent club, to meet new people, and hopefully make some new friends.

Within my group of friends, I am the only one with children, so I sometimes feel like I have nothing in common with them. If I even try and talk about my children, the subject is changed very quickly.

I feel quite isolated sometimes, and feel that now I have children, people see me diffrently.

My children live with there mum, but that in no way makes me a dead beat dad. I have Parental Responsibilties for both children, regular contact, and I support them the best I can.

I would like to know if anyone would be interested in making a new online friend. I would like to talk to men or woman, married or single. I would also like to join in with conversations on the forum.

I hope everybody is well this Wednesday Morning, and I hope you don't mind me being here.

Hiya
Of course you're allowed on this website. We have several dads here on the lone parents section, and there's a dadsnet section (though you're not restricted to that either - it's just more blokey type things on there)

I will say that people without children really don't understand what it is like. I know I certainly didn't. So try not to take it personally with your friends. But as you're seeing it might well be time to make some new friends with people who do know what it's like.

How old are your dc? You say you see them regularly, do you get the chance to take them to gymborie, story time at the library, soft play centre etc? Am assuming they are youngish here?! You will find other parents including dads at those kind of things. BUt yeah, being a single parent can be lonely and isolating. Do you get to go out on the evenings/weekends you don't see your dc?

Someone suggested spice on here a while back. I couldn't afford it so haven't tried it, but it may be something you could look into as a way to meet more people and socialise more perhaps... www.spiceuk.com/home?handshaked=true

Hi Gillybean2,

I didn't see the dadsnet section, but to be honest, I ain't had a proper look around yet, so I will do that tomorrow. There seems to be lots to look at lol.

I've taken my children to story time at the library, but I will be honest, and don't laugh. When I go to them sort of places it's mostly women, and I feel a little awkward

My children are 8 and 7. I am lucky enough to have one of each :)

I don't really go out much in the evenings anymore, and there is two reason for that. 1: Some of my friends have girlfriends, so there always with them, and 2: Since having children, my so called friends just don't seem that interested anymore. They want to go to the pub or clubbing, I'd much rather stay with my kids. I don't get invited anymore anyway. Aparantly I've got boring since becoming a dad lol.

BURN HIM ...

Mu-ha-ha just kidding, everyone's situation is different be you farther or mother single or lone-parent, but I guess the getting through each day with what little sanity you have left is pretty universal .

Wear a hard hat if you venture into AIBU (Am I Being Unreasonable) but often the most interesting

Am surprised you've not gravitated naturally towards friends who do have kids, if yours are 7 and 8 - but maybe that's easier in coupledom?

Anyway, welcome to MN. DH hasn't braved it -think he should, it would be an education.

Hi mate

Welcome to the board. As you can prob. tell from my username, another bloke here.

I know exactly what you are going through mate. When I first split with my ex, I was 28 and few of my friends had kids and none were single dad's.

Right now your friends don't live in your world which makes it hard for them to relate to you. They have absolutely no concept of the sacrifices a parent must make. Nor the love you feel towards your kids. It's not really their fault. You simply cannot until you have kids. Right now, a disaster to them is not having enough cash to go clubbing at the weekends.

The good news is that in time all this changes. They'll settle down, have kids then many will split. Ironically I've found they also come to me for advice as I'm the one who's been there, done that.

The other good piece of news is that once in your 30's, you'll find women actually appreciate a guy who does right by his kids. Below 30 and women tend to avoid you preferring a guy with no "baggage".

So hang in there.....things will be ok.

Hi and welcome :)

Have a good look round, there are still sections that I'm discovering exist and I found this place last November, although I didn't join until about January.

I'll second Dinah about a hard hat for AIBU and if you plan on posting a thread there a flame proof suit might be good as well

Keep it up with the story time at the library if you and your children enjoy it. You might feel a bit awkward at first but that should go the more you go iyswim.

As for your friends, I'll second what Niceguy2 has said. Atm, you're probably better off having two sets of friends, those with kids and those without. That way you'll have friends you can talk about your kids with and friends with whom you talk about/do other things.

half your problem is that you'd have been 22 and 23 when your children were born - which is a weird, in betweeny age to have children.

you don't fit in with the teenaged young parents crowd, but the mid thirties whine drinkers make you want to tear your heir out with boredom.

I had the same issue - I was 22 and 25 when my children were born, and I was the first of all my friends, and the first of my age group - I had to find new friends. But other people who had children the same age as mine were all either 18 and clubbing and necking vodka red bulls (amongst other stuff!), or 34 and drinking whine in whine bars. Nobody wanted to go and see a band play and drink beer with me!

the families Need Fathers board might help you, not in a legal way, but just to find men your age who are going through the same things. Or you could hang around here and talk to us. I'm 30, and I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old.

Do you ever do the school run? It's a way of meeting people...

Hey Daddy

Welcome and join in wherever you like

Nice to have a man's perspective as well.

Welcome Daddy, I only discovered this site last year but have been a LP since my dd was born (15 years ago) and I wish I had found it sooner. I have been given some great advice and support on here esp the lp section. You might find it useful to look up the acronyms bit, it'll help understand what posters are talking about