Ultimately, it's my fault that I'm a single parent.

[poshsinglemum]

Because ultimately it's my fault that I choose rubbish boyfriends.

In retrospect I knew that dd's dad didn't love me but I was desperate (boak)to make things work. I was stupid enough to get pregnant (even though I was so excited and thrilled to be pregnant) with a man who wasn't that into me so I shouldn't be surprised that he bogged off.

Don't get me wrong I am thrilled to have dd but why oh why oh why do I choose such anavailable men? I actually find it quite scary.

I also moan frequently about my abusive ex but ultimately I chose to stay with him. I can't quite forgive myself even though I know that abusive men are hardest to leave./ Ok I'm going to stop giving myself a hard time.

Ive said the same about myself...

its a learning curve.
considering the thoughtful, reflective nature of your ramblings, id say you are getting there.

good luck

Thank you. I'm reflecting all the time.

i chose badly too

it hurts when i look on facebook and see people i went to school with celebrating 21 years of marriage......especially when they were the bully girls

DON'T TORTUE YOURSELF WITH FACEBOOK PLEEEEEAAAASSSSE!

Give yourself a break! I'm sure your abusive ex gives you a hard enough time. You're clearly a good mum and will hopefully learn from your mistakes with men and learn to love yourself for the wonderful person you are. I found it helpfulto explore the reason why i chose such an abusive man and now hope never to repeat the same mistakes. It's better to be a single parent than to stay with an abusive man who will affect both you and your dd. Be kind to yourself.

Hmmm....

Choosing badly or just refusing to tolerate being treated badly? I do accept that there are some lovely relationships out there, but I know plenty of long-term relationships where one or other partner (more often the woman where small children are involved) gets treated in a way that I would not accept for ten minutes.

And, Toptulip, seeing that bullies at school were often like that because they were bullied at home and had v. low self-esteem, just think: they may just have tolerated 21 years of an abusive or loveless marriage.

Would you want that? I bet you have ten times the grit, strength, character, and possibly happiness that they do!