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Original poster

Had a melt down ... is this normal

9 replies

havingmeltdown · 03/10/2010 22:13

just had a total melt down, DS 9 months would not go down to sleep, he kept standing up and screaming, I'd settle him, leave, he'd scream .. I gave him another bottle, leave, he'd scream. I picked him up, settled him, put him back down, he screamed. This went on for over two hours. I called my mum but she wouldn't come over. I landed up slamming the wardrobe door shut, shouting 'shut up' and bursting into tears.

I went back in and settled him again and now he's now very peacefully asleep.

But now I feel like a terrible shit mother Sad

Normally he's so good, it's just that I have an exam coming up and I'm desperately trying to revise and feel like time is running out.

Does this ever happen to anyone else?

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thisisyesterday · 03/10/2010 22:17

yeah it does. and it always happens when you are least able to deal with it, which results in you handling it terribly!!! trust me, i've been there done that too many times than i want to remember

he'll be fine

fwiw though, i find that on thosd occasions they're gernerally trying to tell you they'r eunhappy aboiut something. take him into your bed, snuggle him to sleep, transfer to cot... job done!

hope you have a better day tomorrow. why wouldn't your mum come over? do you ahve other family/friends around who could help sometimes?

single1ds · 03/10/2010 22:19

Hi
yes this has happened to me tonight too. not very often but it does happen. normally there is a trigger to the stress which then makes me feel less able to cope if ds playing up (normal toddler behaviour). trigger tonight was when ex dropped ds off.
dont feel like a shit mother you are not. it just isnt easy but as usual we pick ourselves up and get on.
you are certainly not alone

Original poster
havingmeltdown · 03/10/2010 22:33

thank you so much for replying, and for saying he'll be fine.

I keep going in to check him, and feeling horrible for shouting when he's just a little baby. I adore him, so don't know why him crying can get to me so much.

onwards and upwards I guess Blush

will try to handle it better next time - any ideas?

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Original poster
havingmeltdown · 03/10/2010 22:35

thisisyesterday - he did actually fall asleep with me to start with before I tried to put him in the cot, then he woke up ... and then I think I forgot to think rationally after that ...

I probably should have taken 10 mins to cuddle him on sofa and send him to sleep - instead of struggling for 2 hours.

OP posts:
belleshell · 04/10/2010 12:03

Hi Meltdown.

yes i have been there and done that,when u get a few minutes there is a book called how NOT to be the perfect mother, it made me laugh and cry but actually the fact someone had wrote a book about it made me feel better. good luck with your exams...

girliefriend · 06/10/2010 19:44

yes sounds totally normal i'd of cracked after an hour!!! Bedtimes are always tricky times as tiredness sets in, yours and bubs! I think my advice is if you feel yourself getting stressed and you know he is safe, not ill, not wet, hungry etc then leave him a little while (5-10mins), take a few deep breaths and think calm thoughts!!! Babies cry its what they do was my mantra when my dd was that age!!!

SingleMumAndProud · 06/10/2010 20:17

It is normal. If it starts to happen regularly I would consider worrying a bit, but honestly, we all do have the odd days like that.

I actually shouted at my toddler yesterday and threatened to smack her, even though a) I don't do or agree with smacking, and b) she wasn't even doing anything wrong, just having a normal toddler tantrum cause she didn't want to do what I wanted her to. I never usually do this, I was just stressed. But it shocked me and I had no idea where it came from!

Aminata100 · 07/10/2010 01:28

Buy some Rescue Remedy at Boots (or wherever), brilliant for both of you..

It´s a godsend, I tell you.

Been there, etc, single mum, mine is 19 now!

rosetintedglasses · 07/10/2010 20:27

Yep, been there too! Bedtime is particularly stressful if they won't go to sleep cos you are tired too. Sometimes I leave my toddler screaming in her cot for a few mins and go into another room and scream myself / thump some pillows / take some deep breaths / generally try to recover a bit before going back in to her. Sometimes, if she really won't go to sleep, I give in and get her up for half an hour to play, by which time she is totally exhausted and falls straight to sleep. I've also done thisisyesterday's suggestion and put her in bed with me - though usually we both end up falling asleep together!!

Big hugs. Whatever you do don't feel like a terrible mother.... everyone has bad days like that! He'll wake up happy as anything tomorrow.

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