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he pushed the buttons

3 replies

single1ds · 03/10/2010 20:57

H dropped ds off at 7.45.
he has pushed the buttons and really wound me up and i am so ashamed and annoyed i have reacted and fell straight into his trap. he rubbed it in that he is going to a big family/friends party next weekend and it like he WANTS to make me jealous.his family have cut me off even though HE LEFT ME. i am just hurt, he always wanted to make me feel this way and would push buttons on purpose.i am such a fool, 15 months after he has left and he has done it again. i hate him but also love him, i am just heartbroken and need a good kick up the backside :-(

OP posts:
brightwell · 04/10/2010 07:19

Don't be harsh on yourself, it took me a long time to recognise my ex's behaviour patterns, and even longer to understand that to get him to stop I had to change the way I reacted to him. Now I get perverse pleasure from staying cool & calm when he tries to wind me up.

readywithwellies · 04/10/2010 10:01

My ex knows how to push my buttons so I have a blanket ban on him speaking to me, other than one sentence things like dd forgot her coat, or ds had calpol at 3. Every conversation is via email and tbh it is so much easier to respond calmly to an email. If you feel mad, you just ignore it until you are calm.
Works for me, the more contact you have with your ex the harder it is to let go.

purpleduck · 04/10/2010 10:13

Be kind to yourself.
Maybe the issue here isn't him winding you up, but that his family have cut you off...? Its not fair, and it hurts, and its a reminder of some of what you have lost.
They probably don't know how to act around you, and maybe they feel they are being supportive to their son by blanking you.

It is one of the hardest things to cope with (i think) that ex family and friends will "take sides". It sucks, but it happens. It doesn't mean you deserve it, or that you are a bad person.

Surround yourself with people who love you and who are loyal to you, and focus on that.


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