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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Reducing child maintenance

7 replies

Bettiboo · 02/10/2010 16:18

Hi, I'm new and think I may have posted my initial thread in the wrong section... I'll try again. My EP and I have had a private arrangement regarding child maintenance for 7 years and he has decided to reduce it significantly without telling me. He did however send me an email about 2 months ago saying he was reducing it because I wouldn't give him a breakdown of what I was spending it on. I ignored it because I thought it was utterly ridiculous that after all the years he would request such a thing. (he's given me the same amount for 7 years). He also said he was taking me to court for contact and parental responsibility. Again, I ignored it because I've never stopped him being involved in his sons life. What has changed is that I now have boundaries and don't get involved in his games and he has met someone new. I've now made a CSA claim but I'm scared that he will find other ways to get at me. Has anyone had similar experience and if so, how have you dealt with it? thanks

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ChocHobNob · 02/10/2010 17:06

Is he self-employed? If he is, he could mislead the CSA about his earnings and they sometimes struggle collecting from self-employed.

Bettiboo · 02/10/2010 17:19

No, he's not self-employed. I discussed it with a friend today who did a rough calculation based on my knowledge of his salary 7 years ago and if it's correct that he should be giving me 15% then he's been paying me at around £200 less a month than the CSA would calculate!

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ChocHobNob · 02/10/2010 18:12

If he's a PAYE employer, then it should be more simple for the CSA to sort it out. Unless he purposely delays things, ie. doesn't reply to letters, denies paternity, quits his job ...

Hope things go smoothly for you. Unfortunately, you only have to look at posts on here to see they don't always get the money though.

Mummiehunnie · 02/10/2010 22:27

My ex went to his employer and got his salary reduced and got share options instead! The family court thing is probably due to shame at g/f's questions, he will have no doubt made up a pack of lies to her he will repeat to the family court, to paint you as a bad person, you have my sympathies, been there done it all!

Bettiboo · 03/10/2010 11:44

Goodness, it's all so doom and gloom. Are there any responsible absent parents out there? I just don't get it. The children belong to them too. I'm sure my ex thinks I'm out every weekend drinking champagne with his measley contribution. Of course, I'm struggling as much as the next person to make ends meet. I give up everything I enjoy to make sure my DS gets what he needs and enjoys. It makes me so sad that dads don't want to contribute to make sure their children are cared for adequately. Who knows what he'll do next to get at me.... watch this space!

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ChocHobNob · 03/10/2010 13:25

Not all non resident parents are absent ;)

Not all non resident parents are "Dads" either ;)

Remember, that this is a support and advice forum, so those in happy situations, with good ex's probably don't bother posting much. It doesn't mean there are none out there.

Bettiboo · 03/10/2010 13:35

I knew when I typed that it would be picked up on. Of course I'm aware there are some out there - doesn't always feel that though. :)

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