Snakes and Ladders rage!!

[firecat]

Please can someone offer me advice and help me get a bit of perspective!!

I'm a lone parent and have been on my own since I was around 10 weeks pregnant with my son, who is now three and a half. I work hard doing a job I love, we're both happy and have a very close bond. We do loads of stuff together. We're always off walking, exploring, camping, bike riding and have lots of fun. I have a very bright, sociable child who is very forward for his age. He doesn't generally have tantrums as he's quite easy to reason with. He does have his moments but my life isn't one that's fraught with stress and dramas. Life is good and relatively easy.

The problem I have, however, is that when it comes to certain things I get so frustrated with him and lose all perspective on a situation. This evening, for example, we were playing snakes and ladders and instead of it being a bit of fun I ended up getting so frustrated with his inability to play the game properly that it ended up making him really cry. It's not the only time I've done that either. Domino rally - I got frustrated as he kept knocking the dominoes over before they were ready and ended up making him cry.

It sounds really ridiculous but i really LOSE PERSPECTIVE and then afterwards spend the rest of the evening in tears because I feel like such a cow. What's wrong with me?

I have patience when I discipline him when he's genuinely naughty but I can't seem to keep my composure when teaching him specific things.

Can anyone help?

You'll have to accept that three year olds do not have a complex understanding of game rules.

You are expecting way too much of him. Maybe you need to stop playing games with him that you will get frustrated about?

Not sure what to advise really - do you really expect him to be able to play "properly", or are you aware that your expectations are unrealistic and just can't help yourself?

I suppose I am wondering if you have much experience of small children, in order to know what an average 3 year old is capable of?

I always feel very uneasy when people say their child is bright or forward for their age - it so often means that they expect their child to function at a much higher level of development than is appropriate.

He may well be "forward" in some respects, but I wouldn't expect a child to be able to play snakes and ladders properly/independently much before about 5 TBH.

No advice I'm afraid but can share my thoughts. I'm lone parent have been since DS 13months. He is very like your DS by the sounds of it and I was very like you too

I just began to realise that becuase he is good and reasonable I find it harder to deal with silly things that seem even more reasonable. Whereas frinds with DC's who are strong willed and tantrum can let these 'smaller' things go because they are small. Does that make sense??

I think its down to the amount of interaction - as DS is well behaved I don't get much when he wants to play alone in his room so when we are spending time together I just want it to be nice - whereas a parent who spends a lot of time with their DC especially if it is behaviour related are just glad to spend some quality 'fun' time with their child.

This is just my conclusions to it from my experience - and I just learnt to count to 10

I wouldn't expect a 3yr old to properly play snakes and ladders - DS is 6 next week and has a good grasp of numbers and so on and still we may have tears over snakes and ladders and turn taking, which way to go on the board etc are still only just sinking in.

My advice if you feel you are getting too emotional is to say to him 'I'm just going to quickly do (insert small chore/toilet trip/ make a cuppa). Gives you a couple of minutes to gain perspective.