depression

[single1ds]

Hi
As some of you know, h left 15 months ago.
this morning i have finally made an appointment at the doctors (5pm today)as have been feel down and anxious. i really need to feel a bit better, wont be telling either of my parents but am doing it for my ds as well as myself. to an outsider i may seem absolutely fine, i look fine, but i feel terrible, a tight chest and feel like my life just isnt real. the slightest change to routine just throws me. i think i am very hard on myself but cant help how i feel. surely i will get oout of feeling this way one day? so stressed trying to balance work, son, unsupportive family and ex and on my own :-(

hi, I'm new to MN but have followed a few threads on here and I think you'll have plenty of messages of support so don't feel alone. Hope it went well at the doctors. It's the first step to getting help i think. My husband left me 7 years ago - although i've remarried now - and i've had many anxious episodes. You are not being hard on yourself and you were right to go and see the Dr for your own health as well as DS. They can pick up on our stresses even if we think we are good at hiding them. Life will get easier. Talking will help - even with complete strangers!! Good luck and hope all went well

Hi
thanks bren66
just back from docs and she said not so much depressed (my god that is the 1st time a doc has said that to me in 10 yrs!) maybe because HE has gone??? whatever, anyway she said it is more anxiety, tight chest, feeling choked, sick so have given me propanol... think it is like a beta blocker anyway i just hope it helps.
bren, you give me hope at the moment i dont think i will meet anyone, although has been assured by friends i will

I didn't think I'd meet anyone either but when the time is right you will meet someone I'm sure, if that's what you want. In the meantime, make sure you make time for yourself, even if it's just a soak in the bath!! I don't know what propanol is but I hope it helps. Keep your chin up and everything will work out ok, I'm sure. Your friends will always be there for you and I'm sure your family will be more supportive than you realise? Work will keep you sane too :)

Hi. I'm new to Mumsnet too. I came on here looking for some help and advice and read a few of the messages including yours. I can really empathise with you and have been through a lot of ups and down myself. I really feel for you and all I can say is that by taking some action and seeing the doctor hopefully you will get some good help and support there and hopefully start getting back to yourself.

I also suffered from tightness and in my case I found out that I was suffering from panic attacks almost definitely exacerbated on by the situation I was finding myself in.

Do you just not want to share going to the doctor with your parents? Are you able to talk to them about how you are feelign generallY or do you have anyone else close that you can confide in.. It's good to be able to get things off your chest..

hey single1ds, know exactly what you mean. 11 months since XH left, just getting through the divorce now (another 4-5 months of that to go ) and have started dating which is good in a way but also makes me realise how far I am from what I thought I had with XH. I get that sense of being very tightly stretched, small things sending me off-balance etc, snapping at DDs for no reason....

I find counselling/therapy really helpful - am also 'not depressed' apparently but it blardy feels like I am at times and the therapy helps, so does MN

hi
thanks for your messages. i am suprised i am not depressed as i have been told i am for years but now he has gone (and i dont have anyone telling me i am "ill" constantly) i must be better. i am tearful tonight and the tightness is there. it hink cause i have seen ex after tonight.
mummyilubyou, at least you are having closure and know what is happening. we are currently just sepearated and neither of us has gone for divorce, i think it will be done on 2 yrs seperation; i have lived on a knife edge since he has gone. i think it is the anticipation.
i know what you mean about the snapping, cause things are on your mind constantly. :-(
wiltslulu, all my mum has said in the past is "ive heard it all before" she is no good at understanding how i feel or just doesnt want to.