I spilt up from my XP about 3 weeks ago, I've posted here before about his drug addiction and overnight contact with our 15 month old. I recently got legal advice & was told if I had concerns about his welfare in XP's flat then it was perfectly acceptable I refuse overnight access.
Today he came to see ds1, in my house. This last week he has cancelled are arrangements 6 times, work, too tired, yesterday he had to shower and shave his head as he was going out in the evening so couldnt come.
today he came on time. towards the end of visit he starts telling me that as I would want someone else at the birth of DC2, (his) that he would take DS1 and look after him. I said I wasnt sure. He tells me because he has joint parental responsibiity he has to be chosen over and above anyone else, so I had to let him. So I mention that I'm not happy for DS1 to spend time at his flat becuase of the drug use. (this is the 1st time it has come up between us). He gets really angry by this point, telling me I have deep psycological issues, that I have let down my family (for ending it with him), that I have commitment issues, am emotionally abusive to him etc etc. I say I dont have to let DS1 go to his flat, as I've had legal advice and know my rights, (maybe that was a mistake). He then tells me that instead he will take DS1 overnight to his girlfriends house as, in his own words, 'we dont smoke weed there'. We split up 3 weeks ago, I dont know if this GF exists, if he was having an affair or if he has just met someone. But it wsa just done to provoke and hurt me. Also implys she also uses drugs.
He was sending me texts the other week saying I had abused him son, (not true), that I should appologise, that I am obviously not as enlightened as him etc
I feel threatened. I am scared he will just turn up at my house, (we never lived together). I am pregnant with his (4th) child, my 2nd.
There has been so much more. I can see that none of what he says or does is anything to do with DS1's best interests, its about him controlling, manipulating and abusing me. Trying to get back at me I think. What can I do? I'm scared to take it too far incase it ends up in court and he manipulates the judge to make it look like I'm the problem. I am also scared of what he will do as I have never stood up for myself like this agaisnt him and he was so angry today as he realised he couldnt control things the way he likes. I have wrote down contact cacellations, lateness and even when he was on time. I wrote down the incident today, but because its verbal I really have no proof. I have his texts but alot of them are him saying what a bad person I am... which surely makes me look bad to an outsider?
Thanks for any advice