Myparents & in laws not coping with our split!!

[chosenone]

I've had some excellent advice on the relationships board but thought i'd see what anyone can relate to this! DH and I have split very amicably, we are friendly and he is moving 5 minutes away. Our relationship has run its course, it seems simple to us, we're not naive though and knows they'll be a bumpy road ahead and things will change as the years go on and other partners are involved.

But the real source of stress is from both sets of parents who are very doom and gloom in their outlook - my dad even said he thought ex DH would end up murdering us all after spiralling into depression!! my parents think im selfish immature and will ruin the DC lives ( 5 &3) they have guilt tripped me constantly! MIL is very concerned that things will change in years to come and she won't see the kids!! I love my inlaws and really want it to stay friendly my SIL is a good friend too. I know they worry about what people will say/think as do I it feels so weird and awkward I could just hide away! I've tried reassuring my parents but they are making me so stressed im keeping out of their way untill it all settles down a bit.

Sorry, no real advice as I've not been in your position but just wanted to say that you're probably doing the right thing keeping a low profile and letting them deal with it for a bit.

My friend divorced about 4 years ago and at the time it was all about her mother was "going to cope" - she largely ignored all the drama her mum was creating and things are fine now!

You don't sound mature or selfish at all, you sound very grown up - good luck with the new direction in your life.

I think that your MIL's reaction is fair enough. Exclusion of the paternal grandmother is extremely common with divorce so it is realistic for her to be worried.

Your dad's reaction is perhaps a little OTT, but it is likely that in a few years time, your current DH will have to watch another man living with and bringing up his children with you and that will be painful for your DH regardless of how amicable things are.

No matter how amicable things are, awkward and difficult situations will arise.

I am going to get flamed for this, but saying that your relationship has "run its course" is not enough to warrant a divorce when the kids are 5 and 3.

thanks for your replies. Well the fact we don't love each other, lead sepaerate lives and have starting arguing because of resentments does warrant a divorce- we've spent a year working at it believe me!! Its 2010 I don't have to be trapped and the kids will always be our main priority!