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ettiquette wrt dating sites.

17 replies

booyhoo · 17/09/2010 09:42

i joined and have just really been viewing profiles. a few people have sent me emails, some i have replied to, some i haven't as there isn't anything on their profiles that makes me think we'd get on. one man invited me to chat and i declined. he later sent me an email asking if i was ready to chat now or was i 'busy enough already'. i had gone out yesterday and left myself logged on so clearly he thought i was online. but i didn't get the emails til later last night. in the meantime he sent another 2 emails. 1 saying, "I've sent you another email, do you want to chat." and the 2nd saying "you're not an idiot are you?" Shock

is there an unwritten rule that you have to reply to emails? none of the other people have had a problem that i haven't responded.

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MidnightsChild · 17/09/2010 10:00

From memory, Match do encourage people to use their one of their standard "thanks but no thanks" options if you're not interested ... but whether you do or not is very much a personal decision. I've used dating sites for a few years and have a wide circle of friends who do the same and replying to every e-mail received is a rarity. Most people apply the same policy as you do, others (like myself) only reply when a person has clearly made an effort to send a personal e-mail picking up on something in your profile.

This guy sounds like a bit of a nutter, I would block him so that he isn't able to contact you anymore.

booyhoo · 17/09/2010 10:04

thank you midnight.

not sure how to block him, i might also block the man that asked me "what does a polar bear weigh" Hmm

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MidnightsChild · 17/09/2010 10:21

From memory, you go onto the person's profile and there is a clickable link to block. Sorry, don't have a profile on there anymore so can't check it out for you. If you can't see it, check the FAQs or just e-mail the site admin and ask.

The polar bear one is just trying to be funny (yes, I know) but that would be regarded as an "icebreaker"

For anyone thinking "how rude" it is to ignore messages, I should clarify that I used to reply to everyone as I thought the same. Then I realised that some people took any reply as an encouragement to continue corresponding and so changed my policy. From a personal perspective, I'd rather someone didn't let me waste my time by replying when they were just being polite.

whiteandnerdy · 17/09/2010 10:23

It's kind of a joke ... "enough to break the ice" ... budum tisssh.

whiteandnerdy · 17/09/2010 10:26

Darn, my googleing skills are too slow!!

booyhoo · 17/09/2010 10:26

ahhh, right, i get it now. poor guy, i had him written off as a weirdo!! that one must do the rounds on dating sites.

thanks midnight, i will try that.

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booyhoo · 17/09/2010 11:00

oh yes, you might be able to explain this for me aswell, the 'idiot' guy asked me if i would like a twix, is that another joke thing or is he completely loopy?

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Sherbert37 · 17/09/2010 11:15

Another dipping a toe in here. I am too hung up on old fashioned protocal to write the first email. The only chap I like the look of has not even looked at my profile, despite me being a 98 per cent match for him. Guess I will have to be brave. Good luck booyhoo.

booyhoo · 17/09/2010 12:24

sherbert, i think when it come sto those you like the look of, for me anyway, i have told myself to expect absoloutely no repsonses and to be openminded about any interest i do get. i am also, a bit old fashioned that way, i have yet to make a first move.

thank you for the good luck wishes, and you too.

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booyhoo · 17/09/2010 12:32

oh dear god, there are some wierdos about. some guyhas emailed me saying, "you remind me of a wrench, everytime i look at you my nuts tighten" bleeeuggghhhh!!!! he followed it up by saying "hope you're not offended"

yeah, cause that's the sort of compliment every girl wants!!! Hmm

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whiteandnerdy · 17/09/2010 12:35

... I've put twix through the googleatron and it's coming up with nothing interesting. I suggest you don't put the word Twix through otherwise you'll be running for the hills.

Tippychoocks · 17/09/2010 12:35

reply saying, that's funny cos you sound like a tool too.

Honestly, some people Grin

booyhoo · 17/09/2010 12:41

that's a good one tippy. i am not going to reply though, he sounds like he would take that as a come on!!!

makes not not to search twix on UD Grin

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Tippychoocks · 17/09/2010 12:43

True, best not to start knob banter with internet stalker-types Grin

booyhoo · 17/09/2010 12:50


i think this internet dating stuff might be detrimental to my emotional well being, well it would be if i gave a toss!! Wink

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MidnightsChild · 17/09/2010 13:46

whiteandnerdy, I'd not heard of Twix but I'm afraid that I did put it through the urban dictionary (too bloody nosy me) ... oh dear, I'd be inclined to give that one a miss booyhoo, if he's talking dirty this early on, he's unlikely to be in it looking for lurve :)

Sherbert, I was nervous about making the first contact too, but I got over it with practice. If you don't want to send the first e-mail (and the Rules tell you that you shouldn't), what about making him a favourite, or sending a wink. Personally, not too keen on the wink thing, but its a method of attracting attention, or sending out some encouragement.

Good luck all, with MN to share stories/seek feedback and the sense(s) of humour displayed so far, I imagine it will go well for you Grin

booyhoo · 17/09/2010 18:24

i second the wink thing, although, there have been a few men that have winked at me repetitively and it is really of putting, so if you are going to do it, jsut do it once and leave it at that.

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