didnt kno it would be this hard :(

[poopeeplops]

Just need a rant...

Ive had to give up my career, my home, friends in that area, decent money and just feel like im losing everything.

I love my lil man but feel like its at a huge cost and i can feel me losing myself, ive been left behind by my friends, his dad isnt involved and ive had to move back to where my parents are and their house, im 27yrs old and feel so low, ive lost my confidence, my banter, ive put on 2st and counting, about to go onto benefits and this really is not where i wanted to be!! i never thought i would have to give up this much, genuinly i thought i could make it work. where does it get better???!!!

This time last year i had it all worked out - where did it all go wrong?!

Any help needed

It never goes to plan really.

I have felt exactly the same as you and still do on some days. For me, it took a while to let go of the fact that things had ended up so differently to what I wanted. I started to try and focus on the more positive aspects of the life I have now - and yes, I know that sounds twee and downright impossible to do but it eventually became second nature and I started to find thing easier.

I may be the only person supporting my children and giving them everything they need but in return I get every ounce of their love. Every moment that they feel secure and content is because I work hard to make it that way and sometimes it's nice to take a little pride in that.

But no, it isn't easy. Today I put my son to bed and cried because I had to turn down an invitation to dinner on saturday because I have no babysitter. I haven't been out this year yet and was looking forward to it but I have a crappy family!

Hope you're feeling better soon xx

Sorry ppp have you had to move from the area because of spliting up with your ex ?

How long ago did this happen ? Was it out of the blue ?

If your split is recent ie in the last 6 months then its bound to be raw and still very painful. At least you have a stable base at your parents to begin to rebuild your life when you are ready. I expect people have said this to you but at 27 years old you really do have your whole life ahead and plenty of time to restablish a career and all the things you currently feel you have lost

i left because of my ex and area was not wer i wanted baby growing up, he wasnt supportive of pregnancy so had alot of abuse n stress thru pregnancy and think im only just startin to come to terms wiv that, jus feels like ive done a 360 in my life but not ended up in the place i wanted, i tried so very hard to leave all this behind and now i have HAD to come back to it, really guts me and i cant see a way to get life back on track, how wil i ever get back to work and enjoy life??!! , thanx for your responses xx

Hey PPP,
how old is your little one?
It really does get easier as they get older, you will feel less overwhelmed and somehow you feel a little bit more separate. You will be able to find a bit more time for yourself.
The good news is that although you may not be able to see it now, you really do have EVERY opportunity ahead of you - you can make anything you want of your life, and your child's! You may have to struggle, but you can be an inspiration to your child. And you might meet someone amazing and have a very happy family. You might not, but you might find ways to be very happy without a partner, and be a brilliant mum to your child.
However bad things feel now, that is not how they will always be. You will be happy again.

CakeCuresAll, I really liked what you wrote, and I think I too need to start focussing a little more on those positives - I think somtimes it all just feels so consuming and its difficult to pull yourself out of a certain mindset.

PPP, not sure if its what you are experiencing/feeling, but sometimes I feel as if there is an internal struggle with coming to terms with how 'things' worked out and all the hurt caused. When I actually think about all the shit that has gone on.. I really do feel like I have just read about someone elses life and its not mine. Have you thought about counselling, just someone outside of the situation to talk to? Hope you are feeling better soon.

Cakes where do you live? That's dreadful. I'll be on the next train.

Mmmm.Then we'd be on AIBU ....to let a stranger from MN babysit my children!!

Break it all down into little pieces and then start to build up your new life step by step ,sometimes when we look at things it can be overwhelming but you will find your way thru it and get back to a job you love.You will be cool it just takes baby steps and all of a sudden you are amazed at what you can achieve.Just keep moving forwards ,write a list of all the things you want ,keep working towards them but take your time and enjoy the journey x

also consider, how fantastic that you can live with your parents and that they are supporting you at this time. hopefully that means they can help share the day to day burdens a bit and offer some child care so that you are not facing absolutely everything alone, and it will allow you some space and time to think things through and make a plan for the future... Well done you on taking the brave step to move away. that's a big positive step in itself.

He is 7mths and i went to the docs today and she gave me some happy pills, so see if that helps things, i found a flat and found out today that it fell thru, trying to think positive but getting harder weh things arent getter better.
appreciate all ur comments xx

Cake I wish you were near me, we could take turns. I've been out once this year, last year it was once too, at Christmas. It gets to the stage where people stop inviting you . Luckily I'm not a very going-outy sort so I don't miss that but I do feel left out and miss adult company. It is hard I know.

OP, I so know that feeling that this wasn't how it was meant to be. Annoying and patronising as it sounds, you have to count your blessings and focus on the good or you'll just go under. Focus on your gorgeous baby and the good things in your life (few as they might seem), if you resent what might have been it'll bring you right down. I've been where you are and lost out on jobs, houses etc but 6 months later I thank goodness that I didn't get them as I ended up with much better options.
Stay positive and keep posting