How do I kindly tell a date one is not interested?

[BumChin]

Hello Everyone,

I've changed my name for this. Went on a date last night- first time since spitting with my ex.

It was pleasant enough but no spark. He has messaged me saying what a lovely evening he had and hoped he didn't scare me off.

He is a very nice chap.

How do I kindly let him down? I'm not cut out for this.

I didn't realise you were on a dating website I misunderstood

I agree with you elastamum. As a bloke trying to impress, I will always pay for the first date.

However, I do like my date to at least offer. In the same way as me paying for the date shows that I'm not a penny pinching tight arse, the lady offering at least suggests, she's not merely after a free meal.

It also allows me to gauge how the date went. In my experience, if the lady insists strongly then its doomed. She really didn't like me!

I've been brought up to pay my own way. I wouldn't argue the point though if a man was insistent on paying.

When my brother has dated girls though who have let him pay for everything I've always found it mildy annoying on his behalf.

Yes I agree on an ongoing basis I would not expect to have my share of the bill paid and I was always going to offer but on a first date I didnt think it would be accepted - particularly as I drove half an hour to his turf and then gave him a lift home afterwards !!??

Anyway its all academic as I havent heard from him since

My friend went on a date a couple of weeks ago. She said his teeth were badly stained and there was no way she could see herself wanting to kiss him or have sex with him. So to be polite she replied saying she had a nice time but didn't want a serious relationship at the moment. The guy replied 'that's ok, sex will do'.

Then he made things worse by saying that he'd never considered going out with a 'larger lady' before but actually he quite liked her. So she's now ignoring all texts after politely askining him to stop texting her.

So what I'm saying is, you can be TOO kind. You're better doing what you've done, be straight with him. It's the fairest way.

Reminds me of a lady I met once on POF. One of her previous "dates" took her for lunch at a pasty shop, didnt have enough to pay so she had to. Then after had to borrow the bus fare to get home!

Niceguy, pmsl at pasty shop, that is classic

am now worried as I bought 2nd round on 1st date with nice man I am getting to know, also insisted on splitting dinner bill this weekend past (2nd date)....I really didn't want him to think I was after a free ride as t'were, but maybe I was a bit forceful

I did say that, as I had a freeby babysitter from a friend I wante to pay my half of dinner, but that if I had to pay for a sitter in future I would let him pick up the dinner tab

o god, this is my guardian-reading, feminist upbringing

thats ok sex will do pitch pmsl at that

you should firstly tell him ur frigid, thn slowly but surely lessen the txts to none or make em really boring responses. Keep missing calls, thn hopefully he'l get the message. if u have you have to tell em strait at any point just say 'hate cliches, but its me not u'.

You could always go on about wanting hundreds of children but only after marriage as you are very committed and wouldn't have sex before.