My nealry 3 year old told me he is sad??

[single1ds]

Hi
I have the most loving, outgoing child. He is coming on really well, has no fear of things, always seems willing to try, seems happy and smily etc. but tonight at bedtime, he said in a quiet voice "i'm sad", i think he then said "at nursery". he now goes 3 full days per week, and although i reassured him and asked him why he didnt say. he doesnt really have the vocab to tell me why. i just feel awful. came downstairs with a lump in my throat and tears (not actually crying). i said how we all love him and daddy doesnt live with us but we both love him and he said "mammy go next". well you can probably imagine i feel like ripping my exs head off. now i am sad too. i know i have to be strong but i am not looking forard to him asking more questions as he starts to understand more. anyone else had this?

My nearly two year old said Mummy sad this week.

That had me on the brink of tears too.

I think the most important thing is to find a way to help them acknowledge their and your emotions without them having to cope with yours.

It is so hard.

Poor you It's so hard when they can't express what they mean.
Is it nursery do you think or is he worried about you leaving? Or both? I know you don't know but is there any background that could lean towards one or the other?

hi
thanks. nursery say he is doing great, he got a sticker today for joining in nursery rhymes and being enthusiastic, they say he has lots of friends. but to the outside people say i am coping great etc, but it doesnt mean you dont feel lonely etc. i really hope he doesnt feel he same. no idea why he would think i might leave him. he got up in the middle of the night last night and came in bed with me. perhaps he is starting to understand about H not living with us anymore. although this happened when he was 18 mo old.

. It's shit isn't it?

What I try to tell myself is that smalls must have sad days too - periods of melancholy or just generally feeling a bit down o no real reason. But they can't express it as that or self-medicate with wine and chocolate.

So if he's generally happy and doing well, maybe that was just a little moment of sadness, just like we all get, even in good times. I think it's actually chemical sometimes.Does that make sense?

Has something happened at nursery? Has a member of staff or another child left perhaps, or has he been moved to a different room at nursey and that has triggered worries about special people in his life leaving?

I would talk to the nursery and ask if they have any thoughts on what may have caused this at this time. And ask them to keep an extra eye out for him at the moment too.

Does he regularly see his dad?

hi
thanks. i will ask nursery next week. maybe i am reading into it too much and he was just tired last night. it is just a worry.
niceguy, yes he regularly sees his dad and when it comes to ds we are very reasonable and flexible with each other. just wish he could have loved me and been the same with me!i want it to be as amicable as possible, probably the reason why i dont divorce him on unreasonable behaviour, as i dont want to rock the boat.

My DD sometimes says she is sad as well, I would not read too much into it. I just try to reassure her that everyone feels sad sometimes and it's OK. I ask her why she is sad and sometimes try a variety of reasons (did you get hurt at nursery? did you fall over? did you argue with [insert friend's name]?) until I find whichever one it is.

I am pg at the moment and incredibly weepy - sometimes she will say 'why are you sad mummy?' and so I just explain I am not sad just very tired and being tired can make people unhappy. I think she often says she is sad when really she's just exhausted and overwhelmed from nursery and needs to go to bed.