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Original poster

Making things up on facebook.

10 replies

marcopront · 02/09/2010 17:22

I was going to post this on AIBU but thought you might be nicer.

I am facebook friends with my DD's Dad and his new girlfriend. Actually after what happened today I've deleted her.

She posted something a few weeks ago about weddings. Someone asked her if he had proposed and she said no. She also posted something about how much she loved him, which interestingly he never commented on. Both of these have now been deleted.

Today she changed her relationship status to engaged.

This really upset me. I feel that my DD should be told Daddy is getting married before it is announced to the world. I spoke to him about it, and he said that they are not engaged and that she can post whatever she likes and that it doesn't mean anything. There is a strong possibility that is lying and that they are actually engaged and he just doesn't want to tell me.

If someone in real life went round saying they were engaged when they weren't wouldn't people say they were lying, so is it Ok to do it on facebook?

OP posts:
ragged · 03/09/2010 00:22

I'm not a single parent, so you can feel free to tell me why I'm wrong... but aren't you getting too directly involved in the relationship between your DD & her dad? If she's so young she needs you to be her advocate, she probably doesn't care if she's first to know.

If she's older (say a teen), then shouldn't she confront him if there's an issue with how she finds out? It's her relationship with him to hash out.

And as long as she hears it from him and not from some other source, who cares if it got announced a bit prematurely by the over-excited girlfriend.

And if the GF is lying... well, that will be her problem in the end, won't it?

I would ring him (or FB him, or text, or whatever) and ask him to pls. tell your DD asap about the engagement (you must assume it is true, you need to act neutral and innocent on this one)... and then let him take it from there.

But if I'm wrong and don't understand, just ignore all this Grin.

Original poster
marcopront · 03/09/2010 13:21

You're right I am getting too involved. I wish I could stop myself.

OP posts:
TwoPeasOnePod · 03/09/2010 13:45

I dont think you are getting too involved marcopront, when I was younger (about 8) my dad married his new girlfriend without even telling me and my brother that it was going to happen...We had no idea they were engaged, were not invited to the wedding despite other family being there, I've never understood why we were kept in the dark about it and it still upsets me to this day.

I firmly believe that your children ALWAYS matter most and should be prioritised no matter what the circumstance, and if my partner split with me and became engaged to someone else I would be furious if he didnt tell his children before the general world found out..Sounds like youre well rid of him! Hmm Any adult who thinks that "kids wont mind or pick up on stuff" are idiots, he is an idiot! Have a (neutral) word with him, it isnt about your feelings, its about his child being informed of big occasions in their fathers' life!

hairytriangle · 04/09/2010 10:48

Remove both of them from your facebook it's toomuch hassle

Niceguy2 · 04/09/2010 12:31

Having ex's (and his GF) as friends on Facebook is never a good idea.

In this case, I can understand why you are upset but when push comes to shove, its none of your business.

You might think the right way is to tell DD first. Personally I would have done that too. But it doesn't mean he has to do it. It his (and his GF's) choice. And like ragged said, it could be all just something done by an overexcited GF.

usualsuspect · 04/09/2010 12:34

Shes probably doing it to wind you up ...delete and block

Supercherry · 04/09/2010 21:29

Definitely agree with the delete and block! Why torture yourself?

ValiumSingleton · 05/09/2010 11:45

absolutely delete her, without a comment. She's nothing to you.

I'm a single parent and I wouldn't have any of my x's old motley crew on my list.

AnxiousLand · 08/09/2010 14:29

WOW!
Who cares?

You shouldn't!

Sounds to me that you are keeping an eye on them from the internet!

None of your business or your DD until he wants to and is ready to tell you if it is true!!

grow up and stop hiding behind your DD as an excuse to hurt your ex and his new woman.

Never speak to him or her about their intentions again.

cashmygold · 08/09/2010 19:50

people bebave like juveniles on FB. The GF probably wants you to feel bothered and your're playin into her hands!

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