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Original poster

dating eticate help...... aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!

26 replies

benbon · 27/08/2010 17:47

ok went on a first date last night with someone off of dating direct, went well i thought, seems he didnt want the night to end he suggested we try another pub but that was closed so he offered that we could just go back and chat at his..
i politely declined as it was first date (trying to be well behaved) so he phoned me a cab and waited with me, we had a right giggle whilst we were waitin

so cab turned up and we both said we would love to do it again.. but do i wait for him to text????? havnt heard from him today so what does that mean is he not interested??
or should i text him???

OP posts:
ninah · 27/08/2010 17:52

wait

colditz · 27/08/2010 17:54

Wait.

But only until Tuesday. If he hasn't contacted you by then, don't respond to contact from him at all.

Original poster
benbon · 27/08/2010 18:01

really... ??? and then if he doesnt reply thats it... its weird as he was saying things like (we were talking about crocodile dundee, random i know) and i said id never seen it and he said ill show you next time!!! i just cant read the signals..

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 27/08/2010 18:21

Oooh I like that, colditz! I was going to say 'wait' but yes, you're right, if he contacts you after too long, it's insulting.

As for signals, benbon, the thing is that some men give off so many conflicting signals that it's no wonder you're confused. Wait until the signals settle down and you can understand how he feels.

In the meantime, do nothing!

Original poster
benbon · 27/08/2010 19:02

god its rubbish isnt it, why cant dating be easy!!! lol well i suppose i will just have to wait and see.. just a bugger as i have 4 whole nights off as kids gone to isle of wight with their dad..

OP posts:
colditz · 27/08/2010 19:04

Go on another date then, or go clubbing.

Original poster
benbon · 27/08/2010 19:12

lol.. well im at a wedding tomorrow then out for a few drinks on sun... will prob pop out for a couple tonight.. make the most of being free :-)

OP posts:
FallingWithStyle · 27/08/2010 19:17

Would you think it odd if he contacted you today?

If not then bloody well text him, especially if you were in reg conact in the run-up to first date.

If there was a slight suspicion you were more into him than he was into you then yes, wait - otherwise just do it. Why should he be the one to make contact first, why should you be the one to wait?

One of you has to do it first, why not you? Especially as you ahve a kid free weekend.

Just do it!

FallingWithStyle · 27/08/2010 19:28

Ignore everyone else, do it, do it, do it!!
Grin

Have you done it yet?

without · 27/08/2010 19:40

Text him - go for it and good luck

aseriouslyblondemoment · 27/08/2010 19:56

i'm with ninah and colditz
sit on your hands and don't text him
ime if he's interested he will text or call you and pronto too!
he may well be playing it cool in which case if he does text/call don't allow yourself to become too available
i know that being a LP is a pita as i've been there/am one and child free time is precious, and obv you'd like to go out with him, but please don't accept any last min dates...he needs to see benbon as a busy lady with a busy life(even if it isn't true)
a good bloke will fit his life around youSmile

Original poster
benbon · 27/08/2010 20:14

oh god i wanna text him just to see... should i???? could just say hi kind of thing

OP posts:
FallingWithStyle · 27/08/2010 20:25

Yes!
Honestly, what can be so bad about texting him?
If he doesn't like that you contact him then it means he's not looking to pursue it - and that is already decided, one way or another. Unless you go over the top then his decision will be based on last night.
No sane person who enjoyed a date and would like another would be put off by a simple friendly text 24 hours later.
Honestly.
Dont listen to this lot, they're quite, quite mad Grin

RumourOfAHurricane · 27/08/2010 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Minxie1977 · 27/08/2010 20:37

Let him text - all my male friends would agree they prefer to contact - sexist crap maybe but hey ho. Personally I'd never text/call a guy first - always been my 'rule'. If they like you they will call Smile

ooosabeauta · 27/08/2010 20:37

Don't text him. He knows the onus is on him to text if he wants another date. I'm sure he will do soon as it sounds like he had a great time with you!

Original poster
benbon · 27/08/2010 20:40

well i will keep you posted if he does... if he doesnt i definately wasnt reading the signs right!!!lol

OP posts:
TequilaMockinBird · 27/08/2010 20:43

When I first met up with my DP (we met on a website too!), I text him after the date just in a 'thanks for tonight it was really good, hope we can do it again' kind of way.

I since found out that if I hadnt text him he would never have text me because he thought I wasnt that interested in him (it was just nerves!) and he didnt want to seem like a 'stalker' Hmm.

So....do it!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 27/08/2010 20:52

sit tight and wait
trust me on this
and btw don't just agree a time because it suits him
pick a time for you,make him wait
even if it's not next week
if he's keen he'll make the effort

equinox · 29/08/2010 16:56

Definitely wait it out.

Men have different mindsets ref timing/contact etc. It doesn't mean a thing half the time i.e. nothing sinister.

Don't let yourself ponder over it too much.

Even if he takes a whole week to get back to you I wouldn't take it amiss.

Good luck!

teahouse · 29/08/2010 17:07

Text him tomorrow and say you hope he had a lovely BH w/e, and that you enjoyed spending Friday evening with him.

Go for it - what harm can it do
Good luck

elastamum · 29/08/2010 19:32

I always send a thanks message after a date regardless of whether I plan to see them again then leave them to contact me.

If it makes you feel any better everytime a man has said they want to see me again on a date they have always followed through with it. Good luck

colditz · 30/08/2010 15:30

What happened?

petitfromage · 30/08/2010 19:36

I agree re elastamum - that post date 'thanks for lovely evening' is a great way of saying subtly that you are either up for date 2 or thanks but no - saves playing the waiting game....whether to text now I think depends on how you left it but no contact by tomorrow doesn't look great (if he's not enthusiastic now what will he be like after the honeymoon period wears off??)

keep us informed!

Think I might start a thread asking for date advice actually...

justonemorethen · 31/08/2010 21:34

I think he would have known you had a good time.He he thinks he stands half a chance and fancy's you he'll text/phone you again.

If he's not sure either way he won't.

However turns out that my parents(married over 40 years) didn't follow my advice!! My mum phoned my Dad first and the rest is history (well mine).

Personally I wouldn't risk it. If he can't be bothered then I'm not going to. Haven't got the energy to spend hours angonising the where did it all go wrong, why doesn't he call blah blah blah.He wants you or not it's not your problem to worry about "why" just find one who does.Which you will OK!Smile.