Family Law - Ex wants to prevent me changing our childs school

[oohbehave]

Hi, I have also posted this in legal but could really use some advice quickly!

I have been separated from ex about 2 months now. Our child is 4 nearly 5. She has been attending pre-school for the past year or so near where we used to live. When we split up I left the family home, took our 2 children (one not of school age) about 45 mins drive away to my parents and have registered our 4 year old at the local school. I have been looking for a new home near my parents for the children and I.
I (rightly or wrongly) didn't discuss this with ex, he works full time and has taken no interest in their actual care up until now. he loves them very much but all the work is down to me.
He wants to take me to court before school starts again to prevent her starting at her new school and to have her attend her old school.
Does anyone have any experience of this? What will happen at court?Are they likely to find in my favour, and does anyone know of anywhere I could have a look at similar cases and find out their outcomes?I have googled but without much success!

TIA

Ok, first of all your ex must then be intending to apply for a prohibited steps order or specific issue order. This is not as simple as he may be thinking.

Much will depend on why he thinks DD should go to the old school. Given her age and the fact most of the kids in class will also be new, his argument that it will be unsettling for her is weak at best.

What is the contact routine with him at the moment? 45 mins drive is also not a big deal. I moved 1.5 hours away from my ex and my judge said "It's not exactly far is it?" to my ex.

You can also argue that attending the old school 45 mins each way is going to be a strain for a young child to endure every day.

PSO's are usually aimed more at when one parent wants to leave the country or change the child's name. Get yourself proper legal advice but it sounds to me like he has a very weak case.

you can argue that attending school 45 minutes drive would leave your dc with no firends to play after school - which is of course normal practice and your dc would be left out of the social scene of after school playdates.

Your life with your dc on a mon- fri is around your parents as if you wish to return to work then your ex p is working and your parents will provide the support needed (and a lot of support is useful) for school runs and illness from school during school hours.

Of course a 45 minute trip is not far for weekend visits

Thanksfor the replies.

As it has been school holidays he has seen her whenever he is able to. He works shifts so this will become more complicated when term begins. I have so far been doing all the drop-offs and pick ups. He is welcome to see her whenever he is able, I know this is harder during term time but I have no idea what the alternative would be. I think he wants us to all move to be very close to him but I need to be near my parents who have always looked after the children while I have been at work (i work part time) as he refused to care for them on his days of. He preferred to drink excessively with his friends and then sleep until midday.
His solicitors gave my solicitor the deadline of today to reply to them saying that DD would be continuing to attend her old school, or they would try to take me to court on Tuesday to consider the matter.

My advice is to let him do it. The chances of them getting a court date on Tuesday is virtually nil.

When my ex failed to return my children after contact, my solicitor applied for an emergency hearing....that took 3 weeks!

Instruct your solicitor to reply stating that you do not agree and that DD will attend the new school. Add that since you fear your ex may fail to return DD from contact, until the matter is settled by court that he is welcome to supervised contact at your home.

By the time the matter gets to court, he will not only have a weak argument, the judge will also have to weigh up the upheaval of uprooting DD again to send her to a school further away. There's virtually no chance they will do this. The judge may not like being presented with a fait acompli but they are duty bound to put the child's interests first, not the parents.

Thank you, that's what i'm hoping for although obviously i would prefer us to be able to come to an amicable arrangment

Of course an amicable arrangement is always preferred.

But on this one, there isn't really a compromise. Either DD goes to local school or the one she's currently at 45 mins away. She can't go 50-50, she can't go to one 20 mins away.

The only possible compromise is if the root cause for ex's actions is not the school but something else.

Besides which, he (and his solicitor) are bluffing, the words are chosen carefully (assuming what you wrote is what they said). "they would try to take me to court on Tuesday to consider the matter.". They will "try" for Tuesday to "consider" the matter. His solicitor will be well aware family court issues takes months, sometimes years to resolve. By which time, DD is firmly established at her new school and no court would think its better. He could propose to send her to Eton and it wouldn't matter. So the threat is toothless and when someone's bluffing, it pays to call their bluff.

Plus if ex is working full time, chances are he won't be eligable for legal aid so every letter, phone call will cost him. Does he really have the stomach to fight on a paper thin case?

If DD is with you practically full time, he would be hard pressed to get an order stopping you from leaving the country, let alone defining what school she attends.

If I were you, I'd stand firm whilst trying to get to the root cause. Why is he so against the move? Is it control issues or something else? Is he fearing he will get less contact? If so, can you assure him another way?

I think he is worried about how much contact he will have. I have not stopped him from seeing them at all since I left and have done all the pick ups and drop offs since leaving apart from 2 times that he has collected them. I have ensured they call him each morning and night. he works shifts so unfortunately can't have them every weekend, I have told him he should arrange to take his holiday time in the school holidays so he can spend plenty of time with DD during them which didn't go down well at all.
Once after an argument he wouldn't allow me to speak to DD on the phone to say goodnight to her and told me not to bother coming to pick them up, it was after that that I got in touch with a solicitor

Have they mentioned mediation? They really should have done. 2 months isn't very long to have been separated and emotions will be running high, lots of fear about the future, and I can see that from his point of view you have completely ignored him as a parent and moved his children away. (Not that I'm saying your reasons aren't valid, but some difficulties can be avoided through discussion)

If he's been asking around, getting advice, he may well have heard horror stories and organising contact for shift workers is notoriously difficult.

So, as niceguy says, you probably don't have to worry about this issue; but there are lots of other issues to think about and it's much better to do that through discussion (maybe based on a Parenting Plan - you can download them) if you possibly can. And don't worry about the legal posturing.

Ok, so I think you need to approach this with both a carrot and a stick. The stick is that if he wants to take it to court, you will fight it all the way and that he must realise the futility.

It just doesn't make logical sense for DD to have to drive 90 mins a day to go to a school far away from home especially when he isn't the one doing the drop offs & pickups. He isn't the main carer & given its reception class, most kids are new anyway so its not even a disruption or any less trauma.

The carrot should be to offer more flexibility on contact, perhaps more weekends when he can/wants, more time during holidays....whatever you think is reasonable.

The thing he must have to accept is that as the kids grow, the routine will naturally have to change. Any contact pattern set up when they are 4 isnt going to be suitable by the time they are 14!

Tanga, I have asked him to go to mediation and he refused, my soicitor sent him a letter again asking him and the response was this threat to take me to court.
As you say, 2 months is not a long time and he has been piling the pressure on from day 1 asking where I will live, where the children will go to school, how I intend to support myself etc.
I have told him already that I will help with contact as much as I can but he doesn't believe me, I don't know what else to do except call his bluff.