so many things on my mind..

[single1ds]

hi
just want to get this down really and get advice on how you cope with your feelings.my problem at the moment is feelings of hate/anger/resentment although they are not there all of the time. husband left over 1 yr ago now withour warning, left me a single parent overnight with 18 month old.
been hard but going to councelling and the usual to try to make myself feel better, have decorated, joined gym, lost weight.
despite going to relate together he will not accept responsibility for what he did and says i forced him out, he was emotionally abusive looking back, i had PND.
i have tried to talk to him since but it usual ends up me being in a state and i cannot cope with him. tried so many times always me going back to him/initiating converstaion being reasonable, no thanks.
he doesnt call me and when sees son on sunday doesnt ask anything, he doesnt even say bye to me. it really hurts. i have been tempted to text but i know if i do he will turn it back on me like he always does. he wont sort things financially, i have been to solicitor but would rather wait 2 yrs than unreasonable behaviour as i have a hell of a long time to have to deal with him. why,,why,,why... i just dont know where to go from here, i feel he is pushing me to divorce him but in the past he goes in a rage.. he still wears his wedding ring it is like he is leading a double life.anyone also have an ex to deal with like this? my councellor who we saw together and i now see alone said she has not come across anyone like him??

hi single1ds, despite how you feel right now, you seem to be doing really well, congrats on the weight loss and getting into the gym habit.

It sounds as if you are coping well, and it will get easier.

But you need to let go. Your ex is nothing to do with you any more, he is just your son's other parent. You will probably never get a decent explanation, let alone an apology for what your ex did to you.

You can't change his behaviour but you can change how you react to it. Let the solicitor handle the legal and financial stuff. What happened between your ex and you is history and you need to move on. The best revenge is living well.

hi thanks
problem is i feel like for the last 14months i am waiting for something to happen, id ont know what,i think i have been/am living off adrenalin. just dont feel likei can properly let go, i keep thinking fo our wedding the nice things he said. 13 yrs together and now it seems he hates me. he did tell me once in a text he regrets it and in another he feels terrible but has never tried properly to put things right.
i am trying to change how i react (by not reacting!) it hard though.