Please can anyone give some advice for my friend? Her EX-DH decided to introduce their DC to the OW for the first time at the weekend, it was a disaster, and he is now threatening to take legal action for alienation of affections.
My friend's DH left her 3 months ago and moved in with another woman - his 24 yr old PA. They had been having an affair for 4 years, including two years of IVF before my friend's DD was born 6 months ago. My friend is 42 and has also 2 sons aged 13 and 9.
It was an appalling shock to her but he had it all planned - he'd rented a flat and first took expert legal advice about divorce when she was 8 months pregnant. She describes her situation as "financial lockdown" - she can't access joint accounts or locate any financial documents. He has covered all his tracks.
He has been seeing the DC regularly since he left, but when my friend suggested that a full-on day trip to the seaside would be far too complicated for a first introduction to the OW, he was utterly contemptuous. When he came to collect the kids she offered him a small bag with the sort of emergency supples we know are useful for a day out (disinfectant wipes, plasters, Calpol etc) but he refused saying she was implying the children wouldn't be safe in his care.
During the trip the boys won't talk to DH or OW.
DS2 has meltdown in posh seafood restaurant - he never eats fish. Naturally, ex has no idea what his kids actually eat.
Baby then fills nappy - ex has to change her in loo on lap (never done this before and takes over half an hour) - manages to get poo all over designer jeans.
Ran out of formula - baby puked up the lot after every single feed - had to find supermarket to buy more.
DS2 cuts his foot on beach - blood everywhere. No plasters. Back to supermarket.
He forgot to give the boys their travel sickness pills before the return journey and DS1 puked over himself and baby in the car. DD screams so much she fills her nappy again. Ex refuses to try to change her in the car on the hard shoulder of the motorway. Baby cries all the way home.
The poor kids arrive home distressed, exhausted, hungry, pooey, and vomit-covered. The car (new BMW) stank.
She showed me the emails he sent her - apparently it's all her fault - for poisoning the boys against him, maliciously not warning him that DS won't eat fish, not texting to remind him about the pills, not providing more supplies etc. He intends to get legal advice today.
I've tried to convince her this was only one day and he's just very angry because he looked a complete dick in front of the OW. He'd painted himself as a perfect hands-on dad and it must have been very obvious he was clueless. He is a very controlling man. She has been getting intimidating letters about maintenance from his solicitor implying that ex will apply for full custody if she doesn't accept his terms. He refuses mediation.
It's all piss and wind of course, but she can't see that. He's just used to getting his own way and can afford to pay for it. But her DS1 says he doesn't want to meet OW again and DS2 is very anxious about future access visits because "dad doesn't know what to do!"