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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

So what you all doing tonight then........

24 replies

confusedaboutmendotcom · 21/08/2010 20:17

Was just wandrin what u all up to tonight? I have the children so am getting them in bed getting out my bottle of rose and watching x-factor. I need to get out more lol. Feel like an old granny...all i need is my furry slippers and i be sorted lol is anyone else this sad? x

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Original poster

confusedaboutmendotcom · 21/08/2010 20:21

i guess not then ha ha !!!!!!!!

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ChasingSquirrels · 21/08/2010 20:39

went to parents for tea, left ds1 there as he wanted a sleepover, came home, put ds2 to bed and, umm, .... will watch Casualty later and should do some ironing, buy holiday insurance, call neighbour to see if she will look after the hens while we are away, and 1001 other things I probably won't do.

brightwell · 21/08/2010 20:54

My dc are at their dad's for the weekend. I'm in my pj's drinking tea & watching X factor. Planning on an early night & reading in bed.

MollieO · 21/08/2010 21:02

I am camping with ds. He is wandering around the campsite with his head torch and new friends. I am sat outside our tent drinking wine on my own. Feel a bit sad as I am always on my own and never get time off from ds. His father has no contact. We spoke yesterday for the first time in 5 years (he has stopped paying the £50 a month pathetic contribution and I had assumed it was a bank error but it wasn't).

He said he is still struggling to come to terms with ds's existence nearly 7 yrs since he was conceived and therefore wants nothing to do with him "I've moved on" he said. Poor ds asks questions about his father on almost daily basis. Usually I cope but tonight I am very sad.

kdk · 21/08/2010 21:03

Just had a Turkish takeaway and a glass of wine and now watching Wallander. Bet you're all jealous of my exciting life!

MollieO · 21/08/2010 21:03

Sorry there was a couple of paragraphs in that rant, not sure what happened!

Original poster

confusedaboutmendotcom · 21/08/2010 21:25

squirrels lol at the should do the ironing...I say that every night..i do have good intentions but end up just doing what needed for the next day...i stopped feelin sorry 4myself now ( it the rose i think)lol.

Brightwell i envy you...if my childern went to their dads i would be out partying i think 4 definate although theres nothing betterthan a chill in your jim jams and a nice cup of tea.

kdk. I am jealous actually takeaway sounds like a good idea...mmm yummy...and Molly. I feel your pain too as I never get any peace.Thats why I have tucked them up in bed early for some me time.. It is essential for my sanity. Iagree it does get lonely yes. I salut you though. Going camping on your own is very brave... U havemore guts than me...And as for the fathers Molly well its their loss isnt it. They will be the sad ones when our kids are all grown up and dont want to know them :-)x

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whiteandnerdy · 21/08/2010 21:28

Mending friends laptop that their kids seem to have destroyed.

becausewecan · 21/08/2010 21:35

stuck on the sofa watching tv with nothing to eat or drink listening to the neighbours having a party...but I have my beautiful 2 week old daughter napping on my lap :) wish I had some wine too though!

nixnjj · 21/08/2010 21:35

Same as every night, trying to get my lad to go to bed this side of midnight, never get a break and can't even afford any booze as never get any maintenance either.

Sorry but feeling very down atm

mummyilubyou · 21/08/2010 21:36

have done ironing......sorry ....rock n roll

I find this all so weird. On the one hand I love having the dds with me - dd2 (2.5) fell asleep in my arms this eve after 'the gruffalo' and 'a squash and a squeeze', which was utterly lovely. But then I sit here and think is this it? I almost feel claustrophobidc at the prospect of the next few years. And then I feel bad for feeling like that because the girls are the joy of my life

mummyilubyou · 21/08/2010 21:38

sorry nix, x-post, don't want to sound smug. Your situation sounds tough

MollieO · 21/08/2010 21:38

Confused I love your poster name! Camping is as much of a break as I get. I always choose a site with a play area and that way I know ds will meet other dcs to play with. I get a bit of time to myself and read.

At home when ds is in bed I end up doing all the jobs I don't have time for when he's awake. At least when camping I can't worry about the cleaning ot ironing, although I am worrying about drying a very soggy tent when we go home tomorrow!

You are completely right about fathers. I do have the foolish notion that my ex will fall instantly inlove with ds if he met him and want to take him to cricket, rugby and all the other things that boys do with their fathers and poor ds has to do with me.

ChasingSquirrels · 21/08/2010 21:38

well, need to iron a few things to take on holiday, and would be good to have work clothes ironed so I don't need to do them when I come back.

But in all likelihood I'll be ironing and packing this time tomorrow and cursing myself for wasting this evening!

MollieO · 21/08/2010 21:45

Nixnjj it is so hard doing all this by yourself. I am probably at my lowest since ds was born +ver 6 yrs ago. I've been single since my ex left when ds was born and still in NICU and I am now resigned to the fact that I doubt I will ever have another relationship again.

I envy those that do have shared parenting and get a few nights to themselves but I know there are lots in the same position as us. My ex has been paying at least until he stopped but £50 for his ds and I know he pays £1000 or more for his dd from his first marriage.

Original poster

confusedaboutmendotcom · 21/08/2010 21:51

Ah well I not the only one sat in then on my toddwhile the kids snore then...Bless you nixnjj. that sounds really tough that. How old is he. i dreading it when mine are teens. cant put em to bed at eight then can you lol so makin most of it now. hope you get some rest....Beacause we can. my neighbours are always parftying too they are really loud too..Sum people have no consideration do they.? mummyilubyou. You can comeand do my ironing for me now if you want..I feel the same. Lov e having them bu and want to make the most while they young but get stressed and think omg is it going to be like this for the next ten years...agggh..lol. Will be worth it in the end though eh? Wel i keep telling myself it will anyway. Try and have a nice evening everyone:-)xxxxxx

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Tippychoocks · 21/08/2010 21:58

Same as every night. DD is in bed, I am finishing the housework and then may mumsnet or read or do something useful (not sure what). ExP doesn't do much actual parenting though he is around but he also works evenings and I live in the middle of nowhere. And am poor .
I'd rather this than have her anywhere else though.

legoStuckinmyhoover · 21/08/2010 21:58

Mollie, confused is right... it is his loss. Your son will remember your camping holidays for ever, far more important than an odd cricket or rugby game!

I always take my two camping and they love it. It's all about building happy memories and times together and being together.

You saying you were sat outside your tent drinking just reminded me of me on our latest trip! it's just peaceful and great not to have to look at all the stuff in the house that needs doing. Enjoy!

Have a lovely last day tomorrow!

legoStuckinmyhoover · 21/08/2010 22:07

Confused and everyone else...I am too not doing much at all [as usual], my ex never has the children overnight so god knows why I am sat here contemplating joining a dating site? How will that ever work? And as for ironing...I only do it for a special occasion.

nixnjj · 21/08/2010 22:13

thanks guys, it helps that others understand its not easy. lol at the teenager remark J is 5 before he started school 4 hours sleep was the best we had managed, he started in sept and by Xmas was sleeping 10pm till 6 am since summer hol's we are back to about 5 hours again. Doesn't help that he refuses to stay in his room and overhear the neighbour threatening to speak to landlord if I left him creating in his room so from 7pm he is in living room so no tv for me as experts have stated bored him to sleep.

I am normally alot more positive but this week have also been told my job offer has been cancelled due to lack of funding.

Just struggling atm to believe things will get better

pinemartina · 21/08/2010 22:21

Sitting with teenage dd's who are watching a documentary about tigers and discussing how much pain they would feel if they were mauled by one!
Just arranged a first date from online dating site as dd1 and 2 have agreed to babysit tomorrow night.....
But how on earth any relationship could progress beyond "dates" I have no idea as am up to my eyes in dc and would never bring anyone home - well there's always one awake if not downstairs,and am still bf-ing LO ,who has no contact with xp so overnight stays are out....

nixnjj · 21/08/2010 22:23

lol pinemartina tell them not as much as childbirths

legoStuckinmyhoover · 21/08/2010 22:46

nixnjj, sorry to hear that about your job offer...that's awful how they can do that. Things do get better, give it time and good luck.

nixnjj · 21/08/2010 22:59

It was working with surivours of DV and their children which is something close to my heart To be honest I had a feeling it would happen with government cuts. There is so many places that rely on government funding that are loosing out with out it hitting the papers. TBH I am considering contacting them, as my background before child was sales to see if I can try and do some fund raising just to help out, would help my state of mind just to be out doing something and as far as money goes well I'll just avoid looking at my bank account

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