how do you meet people?

[booyhoo]

not that i am looking to meet anyone right now, it's too soon, just want to be me for a while. but when i do fel ready, how do i get into a situation where i will meet people? i don't go out very often. when i do it is with my best friend and her husband, we go to the pub (rarely) or just sit in the house having a wee drink. we don't go to clubs (we feel too old for that, like to be able to chat). I am not working at the minute because i am waiting to start my CM course in Oct. when i am regisitered i will be a CM meaning i will have no colleagues or work nights out, no members of the public apart from parents of mindees. i don't go to any evening classes because A) i can't afford them and B) i can't get a babysitter. i walk during the day but most people are at work. i can't walk in the evenings because the dcs are in bed and again have no babysitter.

how do you meet people? is this going to be my life until my children are gone?

Has been pretty much my life. I really don't know the answer.
You'll get told by people here to do an evening course or some such. It really doesn't work when you have no baby sitter, are exhausted and have no money.

There is a childminder/nanny thread on here. I know when my sister was a nanny she used to meet up with other nannies from her course once a week for social time for them and the children they minded.

Will you be taking the children you mind to school/playgroup, gymboree, story time at the library etc? You might meet some other child minders that way and be able to meet up for picnics at the park etc.
ALso post in the relevant thread on here and see if anyone is in your area who can suggest some places to go or meet ups with other CM/nannies

Dating websites will be the obvious choice, though you really have to watch out for the sweetshop mentality of a lot of the men there.

Does your friend's husband mix with a lot of other men? Could he introduce you to anyone?

Could you afford for you and your children to join a gym - it's often not much more expensive to join as a family.

Are you interested in amateur dramatics? There are opportunities for children to be involved, too.

As far as babysitting's concerned, could you and a friend swap care so that you occasionally babysit and occasionally go out? The problem for you, of course, might be that it's too much like your daytime job, but if it's possible for a swap, you would benefit.

Or - what about joining the Rambling Association? A lot of families do that - it's a way of getting out of town and into the countryside with a large group of people.

Do you mean 'dating friends' or just friends in general?

I have recently moved house and walk everywhere and get chatting to all sorts of people - have you tried libraries, leisure centre, churches are excellent for meeting people. Always be chatty, make small talk ALL THE TIME (I do!!). Chat to people in shops. Can you do any voluntary work - that is always good for meeting people. Study all the posters/notice boards to see what's going on - I have found loads of 'free' activities that I can take my DC to as well.

Good luck.

friend's husband is a bit like me, they both are. we don't have many friends, just each other.

we only have our local leisure centre gym and they only run a creche on a thursday morning as it's ladies morning. it wouldn't be workable when i am CMing.

i don't think i would mind doing a babysitting swap for a friend but just thinking off the top of my head i don't have any friends with dcs that don't already have someone who babysits for them (grandparents).

will look into the rambling association or equivalent here in northern ireland.

both ragwort, i am worried that now exp is gone i will have less and less of a social life and no chance to get out and find any friends or anyone taht i might like to date.

YOu will meet people on your CM course. Try and make some contacts then. And post in the child minder section on here too. There are bound to be a few meet ups in your area (assuming not too rural)

that's true gillybean.

Although I am quite heavily in debt but trying to really watch my spending, I do allow myself an evening class night out and gym membership.

We have to do something to mix with the human race or it is really unhealthy...!

I pay £5 for the evening class (it's in Derbyshire so cheap) and then £10.50 to the babysitter for 3 hours.

I must admit it took ages to find a babysitter I found her through an internet website through a lot of painstaking searching. She is reliable as she is living with her parents and glad of the extra pocket money. Admittedly she had no references but I went by my gut instinct.

It is really important to do something so I would urge you to try even it is hard or you can't afford it, just for one's sanity.

Then there are other places you can join e.g. Spice/Nexus/IVC etc. but it depends where you live, money permitting (which in my case it isn't!) for any spare time weekends if one is lucky enough to have an obliging ex who sees the children.

Not easy I know but try and do something!

i do know what you mean about mixing with the human race. it is important but i really can't afford to join a class or club. you pay £15 a week. i am now on IS which pays £51 a week, i just couldn't afford to lose that much out of the budget. it would mean something necessary ( electric, food, heating) wouldn't get paid. maybe when i am registered to CM and am bringing in some money but definitely not at the minute.

Sorry, booyhoo, I didn't realise you weren't working. Once you are registered as a childminder and have some money coming in, you should find life a lot easier.

i know, it wasn't a problem til this week as exp was supporting us but now he's gone it's a bit tight. just have to bide my time til i get registered.

Try online at www.meetup.com/ this is national/international featuring people who have an interest etc to meetup locally, wow I jibber jabber hoping they have a meet up of interest near by to you x.

I would go to a dating website too,