How much child support did you think you would get?

[atswimtwolengths]

I've been horrified at how few people get anything like a reasonable amount of child support.

Can I just ask you whether, when you got pregnant with your partner, you thought that he'd be decent (financially) if you parted? Has it been a shock to find he wouldn't pay or was it something you'd always expected?

Also, if he had children with someone else previously, did he pay a reasonable amount to his ex?

hi, When i got with my ex over 10 yrs ago i knew he had 2 kids from previous but had no contact as that was the mothers wishes and every time he tracked them down she moved again.
They got in contact 2 yrs ago and came to stay with us for hols. the mother then decided to phone CSA who then took £60 a week off us for 1 of the kids and back pay ! since then he has been made redundant and only pays £5 a week as he on JSA of which she only gets about £3.
I left him nearly 3 weeks ago and although he doesnt pay a set amount anything i need for the kids he will do his best to get money into my account the same day.

Ex was ambivalent about ds when I was pregnant but always said that he would 'do the right thing'. I assumed he would pay a proper amount based on the CSA calculation. He did for 4 months and then said he was going on a training course and could only pay £50 per month. The course lasted 6 weeks. Over 6 years later he is still paying £50 per month (should be paying £400 per month) and hiding his income from the CSA (self employed). Not exactly what I envisaged. He also has no relationship at all with ds (saw him once at 10 days old in an incubator in NICU when he came to register the birth). His choice not to be involved and that is becoming increasingly harder the older ds gets.

I just don't understand them at all. I can't imagine not paying towards my children and I can't imagine not wanting to see them.

How has this happened, that so many men are like this?

My ds's father said he would do the right thing. Then vanished off saying he wasn't ready to be a dad yet.
I waited 6 months for him to offer something financially. When he didn't I told him he needed to sort it out or I would take him to court (he lives abroad).

After a lot of complaining, and writing via his parents which helped a lot as they told him to be reasonable I'm certain, he now pays less than half what he should (I saw his wages slips when we were together). He says it's what he calculates it to be, though refuses to expalin how he calculated it.
My sol advised me to accept his offer. I could probably get more taking him to court, but every time he defaulted I'd have to go back to court again. Once he figured that out it would cost me more trying to get the money than what he would be paying.
I have written to him reminding him that ds has the right in US law to claim all unpaid mainetenace due at any time from him and he should bear that in mind.

Mind you he didn't pay anything for 6 months this year (lost his job he told me eventually) but he didn't think to let me know. As he sends the payment quarterly it had a big impact on my situation as I had no warning of it. He tells me he's struggling to pay his bills etc still. Well you know what, me too! And if he'd warned me I'd have asked school for funding help with ds's residential trip and not said I could pay it (with the money that never came)!

I never got anything for 7 years from my ex. Pays a piddly amount now that doesn't even cover his food, but it's better than nothing.

I learnt to budget and am very proud that I supported my son single handedly (with no help from family either) for 7 years.

My ex no1 has given me about £200 over the last 10 years. Ive spent more in petrol taking ds to his than he's paid in maintenance!

Ex no2 pays nothing towards baby despite having a windfall of nearly £1m

Yes I have learned my lesson, dont choose a mate while self worth at zero!

My ex provided for us when we were together, but he is hanging on to every penny now and would rather see his children do without than give me a fair settlement.