DC upset about Dad's new girlfriend

[lilac21]

We moved out in April but separated almost 2 years ago. Last week, my ex told the girls that he has a girlfriend and he wants them to meet her. DD1 is nearly 13 and she is v upset, says it is too soon and she doesn't want to meet the girlfriend, is worried that she will move in with him so that DD can't avoid her, and that the relationship will end and her dad will get hurt.

I told her that I'm pleased for him because I couldn't make him happy (I'm not really, I couldn't give a sh*t) and she should tell him how she feels. Also that we all get dumped and in a few more years she will be crying with me about her own relationships!

Ex is 52 and has been married twice, though only had children with me. DDs don't know he was married before. If the new girlfriend reads the divorce petition he is about to get, maybe she will be less keen on him!

You've told her the best advice really, to speak to her Dad. She cannot be forced to have a relationship with this woman if she doesn't want to ... but she also needs to understand that she can't stop her Dad from doing so. It might be that he just decides to keep the two separate ... or maybe she will come around in time.

Agree with ChocHobNob. You should encourage her to speak with her Dad about her feelings and hopefully they can arrange that she will meet the new GF when she feels ready for that. Most of the advice on this subject says to take things slowly and at the child's pace. The most important thing for a child is feeling that the new partner won't interfere with their relationship with their parent.

My ex who has refused to see my DD on his own since he met new partner, over 2 years ago. He insists that she be included in every visit. Very upsetting for my DD and very damaging.

So I hope your ex does work with your children on this. Because, if not, you'll end up picking up the pieces and having to deal with their upset and feeling let down by their Dad and that's very stressful and upsetting.

Hope it works out.