i dont want to do this on my own

[starshaker]

I have a 5 year old and 13 day old twins and i dont want to do it alone. I know i dont really have a choice and its selfish but i want somebody for me.

Not expecting a reply but wanted to say it out loud (kind of) since i cant say it in RL

Your not being selfish at all. I have a 6 year old and am expecting again and feel the same.

Goodness knows it must be really hard with twins. Do you have family support, its not the same but can maybe give you a break?

Is there a Sure Start organisation near you?

I do have help but its the simple things like a hug or just somebody who makes me feel special that i want. I know its not gonna happen for me but doesnt stop me wanting it to

{{{{{{Hug}}}}}}

Am newly lp too (dp died) and i know what you mean.You will get through this though.I know its not the same a sa a loved one but i send a virtual and comradely hug xxxxx

Being selfish is not always wrong I think. You have a self, you can't ignore it, well you can but then you go mad, have a nervous breakdown, be a miserable horrible mother and then nobody benefits.

I still feel stabs of jealousy when I see happy couples and their children but I don't think that is 'wrong' or 'selfish', it is what it is. I think it is only a problem if you refuse to acknowledge it and let it fester away OR you let yourself get miserable and bitter.

I think all you can do is try your best, some days will be ok, some will be awful but even the worst day will pass. Try and get as much help and support as you can but never, ever beat yourself up for feeling what you feel.

I was feeling like that while I couldn't sleep last night. I have 10 yr old & 7 month old boys and I was laying awake worrying about what would happen if I got really ill or lost my legs or something.

When I get like that I really wish there was someone there with me to give me a cuddle & reassure me or even just to change the subject to something pleasant!

Was feeling all hormonal last night. Most of the time im fine but there are times i dont want to do it on my own but it was my choice (sort of) so just need to get on with it

Hey starshaker, I felt just how you do now nearly 3 years ago when my xp left me for another women when i was 5 months pregnant with our second child.

I know it doesn`t feel like it now but in time you wont feel lonely honest!

Its very hard when you have young children, Sometimes we will have bad days but trust me the best days wil shine more then the bad ones :)

Congratulations of your twins though! No wonder you feel like this as they are just two weeks old. You must feel hormonal on top of all the rest of it. What happened to your ex?
Have faith that you will get through this.