Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

Original poster

Rant - feel awful - really alone

11 replies

alisara · 15/08/2010 21:07

Just a rant.

I feel so alone.

My mother has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia and has always been off and on with me. A year ago my almost 12 yr old dd and i moved into her home (i have a sister living there as well) and she promised we would always have somewhere to live. 4 weeks ago today she told me i had 48 hrs to get out.

I was promised a private rental from a colleague due in october and was looking forward to it - it was near my dds school and as i live in n.ireland a great area.

well to cut a long story short i found a private rental within 48 hrs in an area of belfast that some would say is more protestant (sorry if not from n.ireland). the house was from a friend of a friend. i took it the house is gorgeous and i feel lucky not to be homeless.

problem being i am mixed race as well as catholic, so i contacted the local police x2 and spoke to people and they all said it is a safe area - i was worried about my dds school uniform so considered moving her into a different school, to no avail (and anyway my dd screams at me when suggested).

right now my dd is saying the house is horrid her room is horrid and she has no friends in the area. and screams at me all the time....

i try telling her it is a private rental and i cant repaint the room and take up the carpets and her room is lovely and the carpets are new, she screams at me....

i am worried about the rent, i work part-time and awaiting hb (i have the rent for this month but its tight) so stressed about that...

stressed about my mother, missing my sister...my ex partner..

just feel alone and awful

sorry for the rant!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GypsyMoth · 15/08/2010 21:10

god,feel for you!! its frightening at times being alone!

am on my own with 5 dc and dread illness/something going wrong etc.....

Original poster

alisara · 15/08/2010 21:13

Its horrid Tiff, at least i am not the only one, the fears seem more highlighted when alone

OP posts:

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 15/08/2010 21:16

You can repaint if you ask the landlord. It will all work out OK, it's just scary when you first start out. Have faith.

GypsyMoth · 15/08/2010 21:17

they do!! all you can do is watch the pennies and do your best!

i guess dd will calm down...when does she return to school? cant be long now?

without · 15/08/2010 21:19

Couldn't read and run but nothing to say really.
Your DD will be fine, she's probably just letting off steam and you're in the firing line.
Good luck, be strong and hang on in there

Original poster

alisara · 15/08/2010 23:11

Thank you tif, without and belle - yes i guess she is letting off steam (wish i could).

It is hard being on my own i feel such a wimp. My dd starts year 8 on sept 1st so thats a lot for her as well starting seondary school.

just feel i have a lot on my plate without my mother to turn to - its like i have already lost her to the illness if you know what i mean - topped off with the fact that as she wont speak to me i cant even visit my sister and my sister only has limited time for me as my mother hasnt got care in place at present....

i am also so premenstrual and when i feel like that i miss my partner and wonder if anyone will want me in the future

its so lonely being a single parent, but this lone parents part is a help.

OP posts:

nomorecrisps · 15/08/2010 23:23

I'm sorry you are feelinglike this.I think as someone has said your 12 yo is testing the boundaries,big changes can do this tho my kids are younger.My eldest is being dificullt atm as his dad died 2 months ago,i think all we can do is try to be there and try to be supportive but not take any ott stuff from the dcs tho it is hard when we are on our own.Big sympathetic hugxx

Original poster

alisara · 15/08/2010 23:38

thank you nomorecrisps.

just thinking about your name, nomorecrisps i am so addicted every bloody night - i am gonna be massive to top it all off, every night comfort eating crisps

OP posts:

backmeup · 23/08/2010 23:44

You should be able to decorate private renting just as long as its light colours nothing to drastic, you could notify your landlord of your proposals. Feel for you, be strong its one of those learning phases to make us strong for what comes next, wow no how you feel via premenstrual rant...be patient huns.

catherinedenerve · 24/08/2010 00:52

Just like you, your DD must be feeling quite shocked at the moment, missing everything she has been used to and scared. You have each other and although things seem tough and scary at the moment, you are going to settle down and everything will be ok.
Have you tried meeting your new neighbours? You might feel less isolated if you introduce yourself and DD to the less intimidating ones and also there must be other 12yo around you, at a loose end now that the summer holiday is dragging on a bit. Also surely there must be someone alone with their DCs living in the area, who would love a new friend.
It is so hard to be brave sometimes but all those changes are probably for the best for you and DD. You and your DD have a whole new life to look forward to and it's going to be good.
Anyone who raises a child on their own deserves at least their own respect; you are certainly not a wimp! and for that reason, things will turn out fine.
All the very best. x

AMAZINWOMAN · 24/08/2010 08:41

Your 12 year old dd is at the stage that she would be ranting at anything lol If it wasn't this she may be ranting that her pocket money isn't enough, all her friends can stay out later etc

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread