Feel like a bit of a fraud when I post on here...

[LastOrdersAgain]

Because I am a lone parent - just me and DS from the start, but I also have a boyfriend (I hate that bloody term but DP always sounds so long term!)

He doesn't live with me, but is over visiting a few times a week. Only been together a few months.

Just me and DS who live together, which is lovely! Financially support myself etc etc

But I can't help but feel like when I post on the Lone Parent threads, I am somehow conning you other lovely ladies who really are 'single'.

Come hither and tell me it's ok to post on these boards... Or if not, tell me what I am meant to classify myself as, because I have no idea!

Same here.

You(we) are still lone parents in my view.

The term lone parent covers many different situations.

The lone parent group I joined say that for their membership purposes that you are a lone parent if you live in a household where only one adult lives and pays council tax.

Some of them do have a bf, but he doesn't love with them.

It is a different set up of course, but we all came to lone parenting via different routes, whether it be always single, widowed divorced/separated, left abusive relationship.

We are all also experiencing very different results of being a lone parent. Some of us struggle to make ends meet relying on benefots, some work, some got the house and a nice settlement as part of their divorce, some weren't married and get nothing. Some have to battle the CSA to get even £2.5 a week for their dc, some don't know how lucky they are on several hundred a month child support, and some know how lucky they are.

My neighbour tells me how lucky I am not to have an Ex on the scene demanding his 'rights' and making life difficult. I on the other hand would love to have a break and would really appreciate it if ds was going off every other weekend and half the holidays. Then I wouldn't have to stick in in holiday club and fork out a small fortune, as well as get some me time. Someone I know doesn't get any maintenance, but she says money can't buy the time to herself she gets when her ds goes to his dads. Now he's got a new woman and mucking her about though and her free time has gone with it.

I did join a lone parent group for a while. The only thing most of us had in common was that we are lone parents. A more different bunch of people and situations you could not find. Same here I think.

Thanks for the replies. gilly You are right in saying that every situation is different.

I suppose I'm always wary of saying on one post 'me and DP are....' and then toodling over to Lone Parents board to have a whine about being alone and moaning about having no money/can't cope/etc. This is where I feel like the fraud!

I do like posting on the Lone Parent board, so I'm sure I'll be hanging around here more often

YOU have a DP but he isn't being a father, you are still a lone parent imo.

LastOrders I'm in much the same situation. My "whateverthebloodyhellheis" is DD's father and is around sometimes but not often. We don't live together (never have) and he does sod all parenting. I consider myself a lone/single parent because I am.