Confused after date...is it he's just not that into you?

[Antalya1]

I'm so confused after date the other night and thinking is it a case that 'he's just not that into you' or there really is an issue there!!

I've talked to a couple of friends about this and they are just as mystified as me, and of course because they are my friends they will only give me the 'you're fantastic, it's definitely not you', but I would appreciate some good honest opinions.

I met him quite a few weeks ago on a day out with friends. We had a lovely day together and talked for hours - probably about 6! at the end of the night he walked me home...all good so far...I had a few phone calls after that, some on a Saturday night after he had had a few drinks and some sober mid-week. Then a silence for a couple of weeks until I got a call apologising for the lack of calls and wanted to make sure that we could catch-up in a couple of weeks after he had sorted a couple of things out...I didn't want to pry and that was the only explanation that I was given. Fair enough I understand that, however after speaking to a mutual friend learnt that a parent was very ill and he had been in a yo-yo long-term relationship but that he had been over for many months.

The next week, the parent sadly passed away. The next day I got a call off him and we had a good chat. Couple more calls later I invited him round. We had a lovely evening, great chemistry and got on like a house on fire. After all that happened he was upset but was the one that talked about how if he felt we had potential and and we agreed that we would take things very slowly and meet up again in a couple of weeks. Very very relaxing evening and paid me lots of compliments, asked lots of questions because he wanted to find out more about me.

However the next morning I received a text, short and to the point that basically said, 'not ready for this, don't want to mess you about, see you around sometime' literally those were just about the words used!

So firstly apologies that this so long, but really stumped by this. This was a slow burning thing, with him keeping up all the contact.

So had I put him off??? I'm so rubbish at this sort of thing and dating isn't my strong point!! I did send him a text back a while later saying that I understood life wasn't to great at the moment and he knew where I was, no response and really don't know if I have completely mis-read the situation.

Any advice/thoughts???

I think he has a lot going on at the moment, maybe thought he was ready for a new relationship but has since decided otherwise. I dont think you have done anything wrong by the sounds of it but he has told you what he wants so I would just leave it and put it down to experience.

It sounds as if there is a lot going on in his life that you don't know about and yes, it's definitely him, not you.

Are both your parents still alive? The death of a parent, even if expected, will hit most people like a freight train. It isn't something you can deal with or get over quickly. I am sure that he needs time to grieve and doesn't want to do that combined with a new relationship.

I agree with the others. Completely not you, but does sound like he has a lot to deal with right now and maybe starting something new isn't quite right for him or you for that matter.

I think it's lovely he's been so honest. Agree with all the above; he's a lot to grieve over right now and will need time to get used to this huge change in his life.

I agree with the others. Put in the context of his parent's death, I think the last thing on his mind right now is women.

Just say you understand and it would be nice to stay in touch. Leave it at that. If he is/was genuinely interested then in time he will return. If not then yes, "he's just not that into you".