Feeling very lonely at the moment:(

[feedmenow]

Just having one of those days where I'm feeling very lonely and sorry for myself.

Ex dp moved out about 14 months ago (my choice) and for months and months after I had absolutely no desire to have another relationship. Then at the begnning of this year I had a short "fling" with a man that was never going to get serious, but was still so lovely. Having conversation and affection and attention and laughter was just so nice (never had much of it with ex dp!).

Most of the time I'm aware that I'm lonely but I just tuck the feelings away.

But every now and then - like now - I just feel so terribly sad and desperately want to share my life with someone.

I'm lucky to have wonderful children and family and friends but it isn't the same as a significant other is it?

Don't really expect any magic answers, but just wanted to say it out loud as such.

Aww feedme, I have days like this too. Yesterday I had a really bad day, luckily it doesn't last long. I got up feeling much more positive, I used to hate Saturdays, especially as all I hear all week at work is what couples are planning to do, and I know that I'm going to be on my own as DS's are out.

So I'm going to blitz the house, boring I know but it keeps me busy, and I'm at work at 3.

Although I've got good friends I'm the same as you, it's not the same as having someone just to give you a hug, and to share your life with, but looking back I know being on my own is better than being in the wrong relationship.

It will get better

I have no advice - I've only been "here" a month or so (we were still on/off before that), and only completely over for a week. I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me iyswim.

It will hit you sometimes, and when it does it sucks.

I have been single for over 4yrs now, and feeling lonely and unwanted is still something that I cannot get to grips with.

I think it is the hardest part of being a single parent tbh.

My mum will come round for dinner and wine later, but then she'll go, the dc will go to bed, and i'll be left to sit on my own, again. Suppose I should just be grateful for what I have though and get over it lol.

I don't know if this makes me feel better or worse!! It's nice to know I'm not alone in my lonliness though.

And despite feeling lonely, I never forget that I'd rather be alone than with my idiot of an ex dp!!

hi there feedmeknow
same with me 14 months w/o my exp and only recently hit me. i think first 9-12 months was euphoria or being without my chaotic and aggressive xp. then i did date someone a couple of times, didnt work out - no biggie as i wasnt that into him. trouble is it started my mind up in thinking what could i have (weekend breaks, someone to watch box offices movies ad eat popcorn with) which i think brought up those feelings.
i am sure you willl meet someone nice soon, its just takes time....:)

I am also 14mths in

TBH I am ok with being by myself atm as the alternative was to stay with my twunt of an H

Although the thought of being by myself for the rest of my life makes me

Well I'm 10 years single - still get lonely but it does get easier as you get more used to being on your own.

I often go to the cinema alone, occaionally to the theatre too but that is harder. I also go to galleries and musuems alone, and always have a book with me when I'm out so if I want to stop at a cafe I can read and avoid the pitying glances.

Last year I even went abroad alone - first holiday in 10 years and a real challenge; but I managed and if I can afford it, will do it again. No point letting being single stop me from doing stuff.

However, my eldest is off to Uni soon and in a few years it'll be just me totally - then I think I'll really know what lonely is ;o(

Yeah I take a book or puzzle mag with me everywhere too. And I have been to cinema alone in past, but it's not much fun so I tend to only go with ds now. He's not into the kind of chick flick films I like though! Mind you toy story 3 made me cry like a baby.

Ds is off on an adult free holiday this week, and I'll be working most of it, staying ultra late to avoid being on my own too much, and then hoping to clean the house on the one day off I am having. ds's bedroom is dire! So is the whole house come to that...

Had a really sad time last weekend. Sat alone in a crowd, lots of couples and groups about. I knew a few people and wandered about chatting to some, but didn't want to be a gooseberry and wasn't offered a seat anywhere so ended up sitting on my own trying not to cry feeling like billy no mates. Only stayed for my ds, he was having fun racing round with the other children.

Actually billy no mates pretty much sums up my life. I think I've forgotten how to be sociable, and am quite defensive/embarressed at lack of money for clothes, make up, haircuts etc so tend to avoid putting myself in a position where I'm going to feel out of place. Really not sure how to get out of this spiral. Been 11 years and I don't see how things are ever going to be any better in my life than they are now.
Manage most days, but it still gets to me at times.

Tried to say something at work about it again this week, but they just don't get it. One lady said maybe they should get the violins out for me. No wonder I don't botehr trying very much. People just don't want to know or hear and are embarassed by it I think.

I try not to worry about it any more, just accept it's ok to cry and feel this way now and that people really can't understand unless they find themselves in the same position themselves. Life sucks, I just get on with it for my ds's sake. Not sure how long that will carry on once he's grown and left home tbh.

hi All,

Just wanted to say that I know how you feel.
My ex is getting married today almost 2 years to the day since we split and i am very much alone. i wouldnt have him back, but I do feel that i have been left to pick up the pieces of my life and shoulder responsibility for bringing up our kids whilst he swans off and builds himself a new life.

BUT after a holiday alone with the kids, I have decided I will build a new life for myself so am planning on bitng the bullet and going out as much as i can. Someday, something good will happen, it has too

gillybean sounds like your writing about me, been lp for 14 years and although its got easier only because i've got used to it. I understand what you mean about forgetting how to be sociable and embarassed about lack of money for clothes, make-up etc which would boost my confidence but because of this reason i avoid social situations but thats what i want to be able to go out and socialise. Agree would rather be single than in a bad relationship.

I agree that the lack of money etc does not help. I find that I'm at so many disadvantages when making friends - I can't accept evening invitations, have limited funds, don't have a car etc.
I have some good friends but tend to get forgotten at the weekends when their partners are home or they're going out. New friends stop inviting you after a while if you have to constantly refuse.

I guess just keep on it. Or maybe start something that you can manage if you have the confidence? A book club based at your house if you can't get out? Or swap babysitting with someone so that you can get one night out? Sorry, I sound like one of those "helpful" people who tell you to join an evening class . Will stop it now.

Stay positive anyway. Remember how lonely it can be in a crap relationship, at least we're spared that

@gillybean & toffeecupcakes - as long time LP's maybe we should start a group as I know we're not the only ones. A friend of mine has been alone 20 years.

Despite it being the 21stC adn there being an increasing number of single people, it is scary how single women are still considered socially an embarassement; I too rarely get invited anywhere and at the rare events I do go to, I too end up on my own.

At a family event a friend of my sister-in-law asked me about 'my husband' and when I told her I was divorced and was a long-time single mum, she walked off giving me a filthy look... Daily Mail reader clearly ;o)

I think we should be proud of what we have achieved as single parents (mums and dads). Here's to us

B

And theres me feeling sorry for myself when some of you have it much worse!

I had a lovely bike ride with the children today, but when we stopped for a rest and they were running round playing, I was watching them feeling so happy and then almost when to say out loud to someone how wonderful it was. It's horrible not having someone to share everyday things with.

And to be honest, whilst I would never consider having my ex back, I really, really don't want to be alone for ever.

I get pangs of jealoursy seeing a dad playing with their dc, am fed up holidaying alone or days out on my own with dc and wish just sometimes can have a bit of me time

Well my weekend wasnt great. Talked to my kids who were off at exes wedding and then spent the rest of the weekend doing jobs rund the house. Feeling very lonely atm

Yep long termish single here and sadly guys see ds3 in wheelchair and not talking well is but not that understand less knew him and I don't even get far as first post

thing is how the heck do you meet them I'm never without at least one dc and don't go out very often due to money and babysitting

But on plus side when people complement me on dc cab think yep all my own work not done a bad job there

Me too
Feeling lonely...4 dc rushing around noisily - fighting,bickering,asking for money/food...
Bf'ing baby in between cooking,tidying,refereeing arguments..

Am fed up and lonely