Changing name back from married name

[feelrubbish]

Hi

Would like to change my name back to my own name. Obviously dc's have their dad's name.
I had always planned to keep married name for dc's sake unless I am daft enought to marry again! but am now having second thoughts.

Ex toold boys that my name wasn't x (their name) and was y (my maiden name) and they just accpeted this - I was a bit as I was still using that name.

I use my maiden name for work so am very used to it still.

dc's dont seem to mind now but are only little -will this bother them as they get older?
How difficult is it to travel with different names on passport. I would hate to have to rely on letters from ex to go abroad as he still likes to make lofe difficult for me for the sake of it and althought I wouldn't go on holiday without clearing it with him I can see me begging for a letter if necessary. Are theie birth certificates enough?

I dont mind being called Mrs "dc's name" at school things etc - wouldn't be offened.

What do you think i should do?

No idea but you can be called Miss "dc's name" if you prefer that. If you want to go back to your maiden name you have to do it via deed poll so whether your ex likes it or not you are Mrs x in the eyes of the law!

I didn't realise you had to change your name back to your maiden name by deed poll - I thought you always had that option as that is he name on your birth certificate (but I could be wrong)

Was in 2 minds as to what to do but slightly accelerated by fact that ex is planning to get married to new girlfriend ( seeing her for 4 months) - he hasn't even told me of her existence yet - I saw stuff lying around our joint house when I was there getting it ready to be sold ( he knew I was coming) - we havent even started formal divorce proceedings yet due to his inactivity so I am not sure how he can plan an wedding.

But the dc's come first so I would only do it if ok for them. They are 5 and 4 so too young to ask theie opinion.

That is just what SIL has told me who has recently divorced and going through name change via deed poll.

I'm going to change my name back after my youngest has finished school. Only another year to go... phew

is easy enough to do tho may be better to wait and give kids the choice when thet understand.

my ex changed her and the kids names years ago during a fall out - we got back together temporarily then she cleared off altogether leaving them with different names to mine. i left it as didnt want to add to the confusion. dont think theyre too pleased about the hassle it now causes them.

jamestkirk -do hassle in what way- do your dc have your ex's name - would they prefer if you all had the same name?

My friends always look a bit awkward when I have a bank card etc with my married name on it.

I would feel a bit weired if ex is going to get married immediately after we are divorced (whenever that is) is we are both mrs X (even if I an ms) A cousin of mine used her married name for years after she was divorced (no dc) and it was clear she hadn't let go.

Maybe I will wait until dc are older - but as the youngest doesn't start school for a year, I will be a long time until they leave school!

My DC are 10 and 12 and I changed my name back as soon as we moved out, divorce petition in progress but ex hasn't got his copy yet. I don't feel married so I don't want to be Mrs anything...I'm living in my own house and doing my own thing and loving it.

I used an online deed poll service, cost about £45 and the document came in the post, I got a friend to witness it.

You can do it for free- there are loads of sites online where you can enter in your details, print off the form, sign it and get a witness to sign it and you're sorted.

Mine has just been accepted when registering to get married, so it does work.

HTH.

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