feel like ive taken 10 steps back...

[benbon]

ex and i have been split up 1 year now... but have just seen on face book that his new girlfriend has updated her profile pic to one of them together... and my supposid friend likes it... which is her way of drawing my attention to it... although i know they are together and have been for 7 months why does it still hurt.. i feel like crying and my heart is aching...

It's a perfectly normal reaction. No one likes having their face rubbed in it, even if you don't want him back. I assume the picture was linked on your friend's facebook and you're not still keeping up with your ex.

I think it's partly the fact that they are making a go of it with someone else and couldn't/wouldn't do that for you.
And partly that they've moved on with their life and are loved up with someone else while you're probably still on your own tied to the house and dc without much social life.

Definitely cry if you need to. It's the final mourning process and it does hurt. Even if you are over him and don't want him it's the pain of the life you lost and future you had dreamed of together that is gone.

I also believe that when you truely love someone that never goes away. On some level you always care and want to know about them. And of course we all want to hear they miss us and acknowledgement of what an idiot they were and how they wish they'd never left. On some level you're probably feeling some of those feelings perhaps?

It's normal, cry as long and as loud as you want. Stop looking at his face book page and block him on every level you can on there. Your whole new life is ahead of you. And now nothing is stopping you from going out and grabbing it!

no not friends with him on facebook... as its easier to move on if i dont know what he is doing... my "FRIEND" is friends with him and also added his new girlfriend as a friend and seems to feel the need to comment on everything they do...

i think in away i do still love him.. my first thought was it should be me... its hard to know he has moved on when he left me because he needed to be on his own and didnt want kids...

Aw, I've been in a similar position to you. I indulge myself with the 'Facebook stalking' on occasion even now, just to see what exs are up to! I know that's not what you're doing, but social networking is pure evil when you're trying to get over someone, you never know when new information is going to pop up! If you don't want to delete your mutual friend, how about removing her from your news feed? Then the only way you will get updates from her is if she comments on something of yours, or you actually go to her profile. It could be a good bridge for you to see if it works. If it doesn't, I would go ahead and delete her as a friend, she isn't helping you get over your ex as it stands.

And as gillybean2 pointed out, cry as much as you need to, trying to stop yourself from wailing because you think it proves your over things only pushes you into denial. You've earned the right to be upset here. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream.

Remember, there are many people here who will support you .

It's a perfectly natural reaction definitely, but don't rub salt in your healing wounds. You need distance from all of this.

so please, Delete your x,his* new partner and your mutual friend* from your friends list.

Seriously, you don't need to see them presenting their lives in a glossy format, nor to know that a mutual friend is happy for them.

Deleting them won't prevent your x from being a good father, and it won't prevent your mutual friend from being your friend. We all managed it before facebook. And finally, your x's new partner won't be able to make any statements no matter how casually to your via facebook.

oh I'm sorry. I get it. The mutual friend is linking you in to it.

Delete her definitely. Don't know what point she's trying to make but let her scream in to an empty room.

This, IMVHO, is why Facebook is the work of the Devil. I may be biased (Ex had history of lying and cheating online) but so many break ups seem to be played out and prolonged because of Facebook. If you feel you need it to stay in touch, delete delete delete until you just have the "friends" who are actually friends. I reckon you're less likely to have nasty surprises if you cut off anyone who starts up that sort of malarkey.

problem is i cant delete her as she is also my kids auntie... but i have hidden her profile from me so i dont see what she is doing or get any of her status updates... seems to be much better already... just dont need my face being rubbed in their happiness!!! lol and ultimately like someone else says just because they look happy in the pic there is more too the relationship...

feel much better today think i was just having a down day yesterday!!! its great having somewhere to vent...

Yes, venting is good. Think hiding is a good plan if you can't delete.