Anyone on amicable terms with their ex?

11 replies

Hazeleyedbaby · 27/07/2010 16:23

I am quite new to mumsnet and have been reading lots of posts on relationships thread and lone parents thread. I have an 8 month old DS and it seems inevitable that my DF and I are going to separate but I am hoping that we can remain amicable or even as friends as he is not abusive and there was no cheating etc. The relationship has broken down and we have grown apart and i find him intolerable to live with!

My question is.... Am I being unrealistic???

Has anyone managed to remain on good terms with their ex?

OP posts:

daphaneee · 27/07/2010 16:48

Hi, it's a work in progress for me and my ex. We are 6 months down the line, and most of the time it's ok, we are both trying, but after the 15 or so years we were together it's bound to be difficult. As long as we both keep trying to be 'friends' for the lo's sake, then there will come a day when we will be fine. It ain't easy but I live in hope. Good luck to you all.

daphaneee · 27/07/2010 16:49

Saying that it could all go tit's up tomorrow...

ChasingSquirrels · 27/07/2010 20:58

amicable terms - yes,
after a 16+ yr relationship and 2 children, he turned round one day and said he no longer lover me and could no longer stay for the kids who were then 2 and 5. didn't think to really discuss it prior to getting to that point.
2 years down the line, yes it is amicable.

CarGirl · 27/07/2010 21:00

yes we were together about 5 years andd it has been fairly amicable nearly all the time. One time he stopped dd and I wrote to him explaining that dd missed him very much and we worked things out etc. We've had flexible contact arrangements all that time - the last 10 years!

lionstigersandbearsohmy · 28/07/2010 15:24

Hi, yes ex and I are amicable. He even phones me for advise about his new girlfriend!
I think it's possible but only if there are no feelings of love left...that's definately true in our case!
Good luck

nymphadora · 28/07/2010 15:27

9 years later we are, been ok for last couple but before then he wasn't capable of being an adult and behaving like one.

SingleMumAndProud · 28/07/2010 21:30

Me and DH split nearly 3 weeks ago and we are on really good terms. Better than when we were together. Not sure how long it will last but its looking good for now!

GreenDemon · 09/08/2010 21:30

Yup, we're on good terms.

He moved out in April, we've been officially over about 6 weeks, but generally we're pretty much the same as we've always been together.

Possibly if he turned up right now I would remove his testicles.

MuthaHubbard · 11/08/2010 19:16

yes, so much so i've not long come back off holiday with him and dc.

we were together 14 yrs and have been split two and half years or so now. like someone said, no love there anymore which is why i think it's so amicable. we are friends who have fab kids.

Mamumu · 12/08/2010 01:00

We split a few months ago. We remain good friends, but you know you can't get too comfortable. Let's see how it goes... he's a wonderful person anyway, I suppose it also depends on the guy.

PintandChips · 14/08/2010 21:55

Ex and I have been separated for 18 months now, amicable most of the time... we chat, sometimes have coffee and discuss new partners (a bit)... think it helps that we both wanted to separate and neither of us were in love anymore. We still fall out fairly regularly over stuff like money, or childcare (we are trying to co-parent so DS splits the week 4/3 nights), but it much less emotional now, and blows over very quickly... we have both learned that you really do have to be reasonable and put the child at the centre of every decision taken. And always strive to be fair to your ex... even when you really don't like the way they are behaving.

A word of warning though - i can imagine it all changing if either of us settles down with a new partner!

Flip