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Original poster

Theres someone out there - isnt there?!!

22 replies

smokinaces · 25/07/2010 19:44

Just heard the ex has hooked up with a friend of ours. Looks like its going to turn into something and we'll have to deal with introducing to kids etc etc and I am slightly bummed.

Its a year down the line, and I am jealous. Not of her being with him (I definately dont want him and that wont change) but of him finding someone new.

I get out every couple of weeks, but seem to balls up every time I meet a nice bloke.

Tell me there is someone wonderful for me out there. Tell me we're all going to find someone one day. Tell me I'm not being stupid?!!

OP posts:
wornoutbyarguing · 25/07/2010 20:43

i hope so,the thought of someone getting together with my ex ties my stomach up in knots too,although i dont want to be with him,

i have only just become single after 10 years of crap and yes i believbe there is.

a friend of mine said last week if she a bloketold her he is is divorced or got dumped she would wonder urrgghh whats wrong with him and i thought about it and said maybe the person he was with was the wrong one to make each other happy,
i do kind of feel that just because its wrong for one person they are right for another,,,,,,sorry a bit waffly but u get my drift.

i guess its hard to feel confident but have decided to get out there with friends and try to have fun ,but determined to meet some nice guys just as friends,,,,,,,x

valiumSingleton · 25/07/2010 20:48

No, I don't think there is. But that doesn't have to be the end of World. I think not meeting another man, and not having another breakup, and not setting aside my own goals and not having to compromise, all of this is so positive imo.

MrsMorgan · 25/07/2010 20:53

I'm honestly not sure that there is someone out there or everyone, but we can hope.

MrsMorgan · 25/07/2010 20:53

for everyone

onlyjoking9329 · 25/07/2010 21:11

Well I met someone very very special which was a surprise that anyone would fall in love with me, little old me? And what about the fact that I have three kids with autism, I mean who in there right minds would take all that on, not to mention dealing with the grief that me and the kids have since my husbands death two years ago.
But I have him and I'm sure there will be someone for you.

wornoutbyarguing · 25/07/2010 21:41

oh only joking so happy for you ,,,thats sounds like a wonderful guy,so glad for you x

kissyfurschaos · 25/07/2010 21:52

Aw I am in this boat now.
Ex left when I was heavily pregnant for his 'amazing new girlfriend' He ignored our son quickly got her pregnant and they had a son 12 months after ours.
They split and I stupidly took him back after he swore he had changed, now he has dumped me again for his next door neighbour who he says is so nice and loves kids. I dont want her near my son. He said his last girlfriend was lovely yet she sent me death threats and said he had to choose between his sons
Consultant told me this week he thinks DS almost 3 has ADHD and is on the Autistic Spectrum.
I wish I had someone bu I am heavily in debt, depressed, ugly and overweight.
I wish you all luck in finding the decent men out there.

lilac21 · 25/07/2010 21:57

I tried online dating but have had little interest, including being completed ignored by every bloke I added to my favourites! I have just joined a group called Spice, as I decided I would rather get out there and do interesting stuff and meet people and make new friends, instead of staying in waiting for some guy to email me.

I'm not convinced there is someone for everyone, but I am going to make the best of my life and not wait around for someone else to enhance it.

nannynick · 25/07/2010 22:29

There may be someone out there for everyone... the trouble is finding them. You may never actually meet that person.

I'm bad at meeting new people... though perhaps I'm just bad at communicating, as I meet plenty of people I don't know whilst at the gym, in the sauna etc.

jamestkirk · 25/07/2010 22:56

of course there's someone out there for everyone - is just a case of being in the right place at the right time to meet the right one.

is a pity i'm hopeless with directions, nearly always late and have a questionable choice in women...is no wonder i'm still single

FeelingOld · 25/07/2010 23:32

I was 43, had 2 kids, overweight, not exactly beautiful, had no confidence and was single and thought i would be alone forever so kind of gave up on ever finding anyone and resigned myself that i would be single forever when on a night out with some girly friends i got chatting to a lovely guy, didnt fancy him but he was lovely and was very complimentary to me but the night ended and that was that. Next day my friend handed me a piece of paper with his mobile number on and told me that he would love it if i would text him with my number, he didnt want to ask me for it incase he put me on the spot and i didnt wanna give it to him.
Well that was nearly 2 years ago now and we are still together. He is the total opposite of what i would say was 'my type' and is 11 years older than me but now i fancy him like mad and i love him very much.
He is kind, funny, romantic, supportive and much much more.

I think there is someone out there for all of us but like others have said, its difficult getting out there to meet them when you are a single parent.

Niceguy2 · 26/07/2010 09:21

That's a beautiful story FeelingOld.

FeelingOld · 26/07/2010 09:43

Niceguy - I know that I am very lucky. I hope all of you find your Mr Right (or Mrs Right) someday.
Its not easy going out meeting people when you are not a teenager anymore or when you feel your body is not what it used to be or when you have no confidence but we all have so much to offer the right person.

gillybean2 · 26/07/2010 10:47

I'm not sure there is a right person for everyone.
Unless you are prepared to heavily compromise on what you want.

I also think that the vast majority of men need divorce to grown up/mature enough to have a long term relationship. To understand they have to compromise and to see what they lose by not doing so.

Not saying it's always men that cause break up, just that more men are unwilling to change and don't see how unhappy a relationship and simply plod along coz they are happy. They then wonder why their wife in unhappy being lumbered with all child care and having no life of her own, or why she goes looking elsewhere when their life revolves around work or their mates. And they wonder why she wants a divorce when they screw around.

Then there are those violent, abusive, or alchoholic men. Those who prefer other men, or are workoholics, or liars, or cheaters....
If you factor out those then there aren't enough men to go round everyone I'm afraid.

Sorry I know you were hoping for some good news here. But the good news is you can be far far happier without one of those kind of men in your life.
And when you stop searching for a man to make you complete, and simply start living and enjoying your life, that's when those decent, honourable, nice men will possibly creep out of the woodwork and find you. SO there is hope, but don't keep relying on it or using it as a reason to get up every day. Make your own happiness, your own life and then yes maybe someday you will be in the right position (place in your life) to meet your own Mr Right.

Niceguy2 · 26/07/2010 13:23

FeelingOld, I have found someone whom I hope is my Ms Right. I really love her and she loves me but we shall see how things go.

When I was young, I thought that love conquers all. As a LP I learned that idealism is a luxury we sometimes cannot afford.

GB2, I like to think there is a right person out there without the need to compromise heavily. Emphasis on the "heavily". If you think there is not...well its like giving up hope. And I think we all need hope in our lives.

Thing is, those men you speak of. Often the harsh truth is that they can be both bad and good. I'm sure if you spoke to some of my ex's, I would be devil incarnate. Yet I like to think of myself as a good catch.

wornoutbyarguing · 26/07/2010 20:30

i always end up with men who need rescuing and mothering,my biggest fear is meeting another one like my ex as its a hell of a burden ,,like having an extra kid

i think for now i will just concentrate on being ME and my kids,

want to lose some weight,find a job and spend some fun times,,

whats the old saying u meet someone when you are not looking xx

thesunshinesbrightly · 26/07/2010 20:46

I believe their is found my OH again.
Known him for years and he is everything i want,we was just young and stupid before,now we both know exactly what we want and i'm totally smitten and content.

jamestkirk · 27/07/2010 22:32

hey sunshine !!

good to hear its working out for you and your fella !!

slimbo · 28/07/2010 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thesunshinesbrightly · 28/07/2010 21:21

Jamestkirk - Hey you!!
Thought i had scared you off haven't seen you for ages.

It did and i'm sooooo happy. Thank you.

without · 28/07/2010 23:07

I so hope so... I've been single for over 10 years and am 44, and would love to think that one day someone will want to be with me, but I seem to be the world's most unwanted woman.
Hope springs eternal though

jamestkirk · 28/07/2010 23:12

then join me - i'm 44 this year - honest - and def not on the most wanted list

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