should i stay or should i go.

[belleshell]

Help any advice welcome,i am in the middle of leaving H, we have 2 children. he isn't a terrible person but life as got in the way and i have had enough of being taken for granted, ignored, etc. Also i was diagnosed with ME last year and H took it very bad ( not sure why its my life as i knew it that has been stripped from me). Since diagnosis he as done more with kids and says he thought he was helping which he was but i was just left to fester in my illness with no emotional support.I live an hour and half drive away from my family, i am on a phased return to work and should be back to my full 30 hours soon.sorry seem to have gone off thread.

my problem is this.i have applied for a job nearer family as i need support and want to be closer to home.H has said he will fight me all way for custody of kids so do i stay here move out and share custody of kids or do i move home and accept i will only see kids at weekends.

Do any other mums have weekend access only. i feel if i did this i will be abandoning kids, for my own satisfaction ( needing to be nearer my family). will kids ever for give me.

Bump. How old are your children? (and sorry you're going through this)

11 and 8. DS (11) is a very emotional kid, DD is 8 and thinks its a game i think bit of a novelty. im so torn............

why would they need to forgive you?

given the practical situation your illness etc - maybe is a good practical arrangement, allowing you to focus on work in week then have really good alternate weekends with dcs?

It's hard to say. Is this something you genuinely want, or is it something you feel cornered into accepting because you feel so ground down right now? My ex tried to bully me into a situation where he would have DD during the week and I would have her at weekends, and I worried so much about how I would cope that I came perilously close to accepting. In my case, it would have been a terrible decision.

But the ME is a complicating factor, and I don't want to totally project my situation onto you.

In my honest opinion, there can be issues with dcs feeling abandoned by their mother. If you do go down this route, it's important to reassure them that you are still very much a presence in their lives.

I'm a bit concerned you might make a big decision now, regret it later, but be able to change it because courts like to keep the status quo.

thank you nickname...........i have decided to stay here and move out, tld kids and they are devastated as you can imagine but when i asked if they would like to stay and i go home both said a definite no, although the decision to go is hard the decisison to move 100 miles away would be even harder.

I hope your situation is better, this is a new start for us all.

Good luck with it!