Neutral handover locations for visitation

[Isetan]

Does anyone know of neutral locations in the UK where I could hand daughter to ex during his visitation. Are there centres where this could be done? Do not want to involve family or friends and can not disclose address to ex due to DV.

Background
I am currently living in abroad with my daughter and I am in the processing of petitioning the domestic courts for permission to return to the UK as ex-partner has refused permission (we currently have joint custody). My ex is currently in custody charged with attempter manslaughter (he strangled me until I became unconscious, he was holding our daughter at the time).

As part of the petition my lawyer has asked me to provide evidence on how I would support visitation.

Am not seeking sole custody in The Netherlands as this would take months and the domestic legal system is very pro-joint custody.

Any advice would be greatly received.

I'm not sure if you mean a handover location or a supervised contact centre. Handover is easy - the airport might work for you. We use the train station or a convenient bus-stop. Anywhere where you find a lot of people and is hopefully not too stressful for your DD (some people use police stations, but I'd avoid unless necessary). Even a McDonalds.

But if your ex is this dangerous (strangulation!!!), I would suggest you don't allow unsupervised access and instead go through a contact centre. These can be used either when ordered by a court (staffed by social workers) or where voluntarily agreed by the parents (staffed by volunteers). If you google "contact centre", you'll be able to find one in the geographical location of your choice.

definitely you need a supervised contact centre - you cannot let a man who strangled you have your child unsupervised...

try www.naccc.org.uk/

seems mad there is so much focus on you supporting contact when he has done this to you.... agreement to hand over to supervised contact yes ...

ps surely netherlands is very aware of DV issues? how can they be pro joint custody in these cases?

It's my own experience that sometimes not everyone tells the truth when relationships come to a s**tty end. And it's hard for a court to decide what really happened and what were the real sequence of events and motivations. It maybe difficult at this time to seperate your distress and animosity to your ex with doing what's best for your child. I wish you the best, in doing what you truly believe is best for your children.

Sorry it's a bit of a strange message, but my own experiance was from being arrested for assaulting my own DS. To within a year having the 2DS and a DSS full time ... the ex had issues to sort out (in nightclubs and bars), but things have improved since those very dark days.

I don't think that this is the right thread for your post, whiteandnerdy, but I agree that it's terrifying not to be believed when you're telling the truth, whether you're the mother or the father.

Thanks NicknameTaken ?!?! your probably right, I'm just more comfortable with saying this happened to me ... but things do get better, rather than giving specific advice.

It's my own experiance (urrrgh enough said) that local councils will facilitate supervised visits, mine was in a local adoption agency which had ties to the council.

Contact centres are exactly what I had in mind. The attack was terrifying but dealing with a myriad of agencies (whose input is high on tea and sympathy and low on practical help), lawyers and a police/prosecution service which who have forgotten I exist has truly been a nightmare.

However, I have been fortunate to have access to a child psychologist who have been fantastic and I am hopeful that the attack won't have a lasting effect on my DD. The strength of DD character at 3 years has been a source of pride and definately encourages me on my "can't be asked to get out of bed days".

Thank you all for your prompt replies, its very encouraging to have such support.

whiteandnerdy, I'm scared of what ex has done and is capable of doing but I'm not angry. I am my daughter's advocate and have a duty to protect her interests and I believe having a relationship with her father is an important one, however, her safety is of course paramount.

Sorry Isetan, if I come over as an arse. It must have been the bit in your OrigPost about 'The Netherlands being very pro-joint custody', it must have stirred something in me, a court in any country must put the safety of the child first surely?

I wish you and your DD all the help and happyness through these very difficult times.

yes contact centre is the way forward - one where the people there will support your daughter. your role will simply be to take ehr there - you wont even have to have contact with her father.

if it goes well adn as she gets odler it can move elsewhere (if he isnt in prison for the attack! if he is then presumably would be prison visiting and appropriately supervised anyway....)

whiteandnerdy, If this is you being an arse then you really have some work to do as my b radar never so much as peeped. I singled you you out as I wanted to address your quite natural concerns.