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Not seen 14 yr old DS 5 months

3 replies

eurythmic · 19/07/2010 12:15

I haven't been able to see my 14 year old DS since February and I'm struggling to cope with it. My ex took him to his house for what i hoped would be a couple of days to calm down after a teenage 'stand-off' and he has never returned.

Ex also changed DS's school without my knowledge or consent, although DS was unhappy at previous school and needed to move but outside catchments area.

Ex has applied for PR through the court and inventd some abuse allegations (totally untrue) to stop me making any contact with DS. Of course i've wholly refuted allegations and not consnted to PR in the circumstances.

I quickly realised when this happened that my ex had been coercing DS for several months - DS had been moodier than usual for a teenager and confused and refusing to talk to me about anything.

I understand DS's 14 years worth of unmet needs around his father and that some of those are being met now (not emotional needs however) but DS doesn't seem to realise this could be at the expense of his relationship with me I fear this will go on and on despite second court hearing in September when DS will be asked again if he wants contact with me, and to be able to keep things going with his dad he will say no - again. Have always afforded contact to EX, he just not capable of doing same

I don't know what to do. Have involved SS but they see him as ok so just be patient! Cafcass involved but not much faith in them as they seem so overrun.

Trying to accept and move on while waiting for him to see sense but finding it impossible

OP posts:
Blef1974 · 19/07/2010 14:42

This must be so hard for you. I don't really know what to say except for sending my love.

eurythmic · 19/07/2010 17:00

Thank you for your message of support.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 19/07/2010 17:03

you have the right to be forwarded school communications,reports etc...and can go to parents evenings,school events.

what about other family members? could they mediate?

has the child benefit changed to your ex's name now?

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