would this annoy you??

[GypsyMoth]

i have 4 dc with previous husband....he has no contact at all. had a boyfriend for almost 6 years,we have a ds together but do not live together. he's here this weekend. will stay tonight and leave tomorrow,maybe wont see him til thurs again....all normal for us

however,he's becoming less tolerant of my dc

today we had to wait for dd to return from an activity. so were all in the car....boys started messing around a bit,he snaps at them ,calls them 'embarassing' and retreats into his own world,sulkin,humming to himself.

later,towards the end of footie,3 older dc were in the room with us.....they were bickering,arguing and being horrible....amongst themselves ages 16,13 and 11.....he starts the humming thing,packs away his computer and gets up and goes upstairs to watch tv up there.

he's not engaged much with me all day...has become increasingly irritable with them,is sometimes belittling and when he's here i'm more stressed than ever. he's even been grumpy with our ds who is 2.

anyone shed some light for me?

Sounds like an intolerant fool....kids are kids....if he can't deal with it then maybe he is not the one for you.

i'm starting to think this way scurry....teenagers and toddlers here,i work bloody hard to meet all their needs.

i dont feel supported anymore,which is a shame,because he used to be very supportive.

bumping for anymore views before i go to bed?

what do you want from the relationship long term wc?
sounds like he's making your life hard work atm

well thats another problem really. i dont want to be like this forever.

i dont think i want marriage from him,or to live together....i used to,but not anymore. we're drifting apart,i know that. i still have feelings for him,love him,but not liking him much. it feels like i've only got to know him properly in the last year or so....

i feel he quite dislikes my dc one minute,then the next he seems to be making an effort with them

any other perspectives?

given he isnt living with you then he has to act like a grown up when he is spending weekend with you and be tolerant of your dcs.

tell him to grow up...

well sit calmly and say if he cant handle it best he jsut visits for short hour long visits and takes your /his DS out etc on his own.

not worth it if he stresses you out is it?

your dcs come first - all of them...

i think i will have to cestla....they had an abusive father,the belittling and general sulks dont sit well with me at all,would rather be alone.

White Cherry, i have DD with my now X - he never lived with us - only came over for short time as in 12-5 to see DD, i have recently ended it and to be honest nothing has changed with DD, everything is normal for her because she doesn't know any different.

It's you that will be hurting but there are always people around you and on here to listen if you need vent about anything.

You're right though, you children have already had one abusive father, then maybe they deserve to live in a house without one. You are all they need, all they'll ever need and hopefully, in time, all the other stuff will fall in to place.