I knew it wouldn't take him long

[TheLifeOfRiley]

I left ex in november after an emotionally abusive relationship lasting 9 years. Have DS aged 5.

Have always encouraged contact and told ex DS could stay on wednesdays and saturdays, we have had them switched around for him to go out and go away piss up camping but mostly he has had him. Now he is dropping the mid week overnight stay as he wants to keep his car off the road. Have suggested he has DS for tea that night and then bring him home so they still see each other but I am feeling selfishly pissed off.

DS doesn't sleep well and TBH I cherish these nights where I get a solid sleep. Ex was a way last weekend so couldn't have DS overnight and I ended up falling asleep on my mum's sofa in the middle of the day!

DS won't be bothered as he is not keen on going anyway. I knew it wouldn't last he is too selfish and has proved this in the past with his two older children so I knew what DS (and me) was in for. Sigh.

No advice I'm afraid just a bit of sympathy

[pases TLOR a cuppa and some choc]

Some men are such selfish arses

Thanks LC, I am more mad about it today - he brought it up yesterday as he dropped DS off and I was madly stripping DS off and getting him in the bath as we were running let to get to a party so I was quite matter of fact about it and just said "do you still want him to come round for tea".

I can see when it gets colder and he wants his car for work he will say "oh I'll have him overnight again now" but don't want him messing about chopping and changing.

When we were together he resented me having even an hour long driving lesson and having DS so I know he will hate the thought of me having 2 nights a week to do as I please, I'm surprised he's lasted this long having him.

Thanks for the cuppa and chocolate.

rubbish isnt it... we have no choice but to put up with what they say, my ex is suppose to have them overnight every other weekend but in june he had them once overnight and hasnt had them overnight atall this month... so unfair as my son still messes about every night...

I think that's whats annoying me most, that he still has an element of control of my life and my arrangements.

I told DS he wouldn't be sleeping at his dad's on a wednesday night anymore and would just be going for tea, his response? " GREAT! "

Sorry you are putting up with similar too - it really sucks doesn't it.

HI Lifeofriley,

I have 3 kids(aged 8,11 & 13)& a very similar problem with my ex too.

He was having them weds & alternative weekends. Last week he decided he'll no longer have them weds. He told them during their visit & they talked him into carrying on. The next morning he took them to school & as they got out of the car said he had firmly decided they were no longer going weds.

His reasons are that he is not my babysitting service & that he cant afford petrol to drive 13 miles to pick them up!! What happened to him wanting to see his kids???? Also he is constantly buying new mobile phones, game machines etc so how can he have no money??

My 8 & 11 year old are heartbroken, my 13 year old is happy as she dislikes her dad.

Trouble is I work late weds & early thurs morns so I can fulfil my working hours. I am also 8 months pregnant & my new partner is in the army but lives 4 hrs away so I only see him weekends.

I love weds evenings as its the only time I get alone. The rest of my life is so fast pace & stressful, getting to school, getting to work etc.

He also regularly cancels his weekends, stating that his mum will have them instead cos he knows I hate them going to her. His mum & dad easily each drink 2 bottles of wine per night.

Basically my ex still wants control of my life. He has been a prat since we split 2.5 years ago but has been a real arse since he fond out I was pregnant!!

There is so many dads out there desperate to see their kids, yet my is being sooooooo selfish just to wind me up!! Why cant he just sod off, be happy & leave my life alone????

Sorry rant over but why do some ex's have to be sooo stressful!!