Moving from a small town 5 hours away , to London

[OneThingAfterTheOther]

It has been a dream since finishing Uni and early 20s , to work and live there

I love the vibe , the pace, everything going on , so much to do etc

I agreed to stay for DHs career and 20 years have gone by

I am 48

I want to move this summer, and DH and DS I hope will move happily too I am still trying to convince them it will work financially

Can anyone suggest a place within 30 minutes train/tube from Central London with good sixth form college/high school options for state/grammar - and apartments or a row house if possible, for a budget of 400K including duties, taxes , legal conveyancing etc. please

Please help me , thanks

Yes. Please listen to this. Especially the warning about the menopause.

Look at what 500k will get you in London vis a vis what you have now.

Our 3 bed (ok 2.5 bed) flat in SE1, under 1000sq feet but fairly new so needing nothing doing to it, cost 7 figures. 2 bed flats in zone 1 cost around minimum of £800k, most were £925-950k plus management costs. A friend looked at a 2 bed terrace in Battersea for £1.25m. Courtyard garden, same size as our flat. We didn’t need to factor in schools (DD is actually 15mins from uni, though, on foot) and DH got to work in 20mins this week compared to over 90mins when commuting from home (2.5hours after 730pm if there is a cancellation, as trains never reverted to the pre-Covid timetable). We’ve lived in Bow in the 90’s; I grew up in Wimbledon where we also lived briefly together and loved it, but I’ve also lived in Wallington with my first flat, where the schools aren’t bad… but the commutes are still 45mins at rush hour and can be hellish if there is any signal issue. Our old, tiny 2bed Wimbledon flat was recently sold for £775k, but there are some great private schools there if that was a consideration.

I really think you need to spend a few weeks in an Air BnB exploring whether it really is for you and your DH - and I truly think you would risk messing up your DS’s life if you move him now. Visit lots, explore the different areas, stay in Air BnBs in the target zones to get a real sense of where you feel at home… but don’t do it until DS has left for uni and you have DHs 100% buy-in.

Well, precisely… crackers idea, sadly.

This is exactly in theory what I love about the capital city of the country which has a population of >10 million - the diversity.

Scotland is 95pc white and I am not

OK , Wise MNers , will wait another 2 years to move .......so many cautioners re DS school last 2 years can't be wrong.....

But if he goes to uni here I don't know if I will have the heart to move 6 hours away, I was hoping if I uproot him now , he would go to uni there within a couple of hours away

Will stay for 2 years but hope for Oxbridge? Then no free uni fees :-)

@OneThingAfterTheOther
I think the vast majority of people are supportive of you moving to London.

Some of us are saying you should do it after your DS has done his highers and is off to uni.

All the grammars in London are super selective and very difficult to get in to

Have you investigated the difference between A Levels and highers?
Is it worth buggering up your DS's chances of achieving his best grades for the sake of 2 years or less?

It sounds like this desire of moving to London ASAP is just you, there are no other immovable deadlines that forces this timeline

TBH I think it's madness to move your DS at this stage in his education.

Sounds wise and gives you time to really be sure of where in London you want to settle - thing to remember is that ‘London’ is not one homogenous city. Clapham has a different feel to Wimbledon, which is different from the East End, and so on. It’s diverse in its population, yes, but so are the communities within it. Some of those areas are very white, or very Jewish, or have a large Asian community and flavour. You need to visit to really understand where you might find your best fit - and it needs to be somewhere your DH would also fit in?

And I wouldn’t over focus on Oxbridge. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be and, depending upon the subject, Edinburgh and Glasgow are so close to them on the league tables and in their international reputations that it will be madness to take on the debt of an education in England when a free one in a comparable institution is available up there. Sounds as though he needs to get through his Nationals first anyway, so I think you are jumping too far ahead on all levels at the moment.

Take a breath and book a family holiday to London after his exams this summer and start from there.

@OneThingAfterTheOther well done on listening to the advice about moving later.

Your DS will thank you for it.

I have to agree with PP’s. Once I looked into the grammar schools and sixth forms for OP it was clear that the most prestigious would be hard to get into on a whim, that’s without factoring in work and job moves! It would be a huge upheaval and very unfair on your DS to move him at this stage in his education. I also agree with what pp said about what you can afford in London now, it’s not like in the olden days when you could get a house in a nice area for a steal. Even the most deprived areas are being re-gentrified or stay rough and Catford certainly wasn’t my DB’s first choice.

The one thing about my DB, all he needs to worry about is nursery and primary school for his kids at the moment.

I can understand if you feel like you can’t fit in in Scotland (although you are living there) and the wish to move to southern England.

OP - what is your house like now? I don’t know Scotland but I assume, based on what you have said, that it’s probably quite a nice house - possibly detached with a garden?

i would be worried that ending up in a small flat or even smaller terrace house, in a slightly grimy area, could end up being not quite what you have in mind.

@Pipsquiggle , thank you. I am not sure if I will have the heart to move even after DS is in Uni here, at that point I have a feeling I will want to stay at least a few hours travel distance of him so he can come home as often as he can - say Uni of Aberdeen for e.g. if doesnt get Edinburgh or Glasgow uni
But that's okay, I think the thread made me think of what I really want from the move, and how else can I achieve it without an upheaval to the others (or myself)

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain , Thank you for all your suggestions and links.
And those words of understanding - I think maybe moving back into one of the cities here will help considerably - and being okay with the 500K not going that far in terms of this big detached house in a small town.
I think with the pandemic and post pandemic we did what everyone was doing and moved outside, but some of us just aren't keen gardeners or outdoorsy people - I use parks , when they are small spaces of green nestled in between big office buildings apparently! Rather than huge wooded areas of solitude and peace. Each to their own !!! This has been as much about getting to know myself more as anything else!

@Newmeagain , Yes noted thanks - I like the idea of small, cute and quirky but it will take some convincing for the others.

I wouldn't interfere with your son's education for the sake of your whim. Wait until he's finished school.

People are suggesting extremely selective grammar schools. What is the back up if he doesn't get in?

I’m so pleased I read that you’ve reconsidered.

This simply didn’t have legs.