To fall out of love with London

[LoveToGiveAdvice]

I have moved out a few years ago, originally I thought it will be temporary and I would want to move back. But now, I can't see the appeal of London at all. I mean yes, there are museums, theatres, restaurants but it is not like I have time /money to go there every week.
Other observation is that salaries are not much different outside of London when you account for housing costs.

Were you born in London?

Yes

Sure, I live in London but the point remains - you often get these threads about leaving or haying London but not other cities or towns or places.

There aren't really other comparable cities in the UK (one reason our productivity is bad).

I've seen lots of threads about the downsides of living in the countryside

Curiosity? Genuinely wondering why the OP posted? The OP hasn’t come back in this instance and that’s always weird. No one starts a thread not to get a reaction or response, so why not engage?

I can’t stand gigs or clubbing but love London. Plenty of things to do besides that!

About living in the countrywide generally, yes. Not about why it’s awful to live in Derbyshire or Dorset, though, and so I’m moving to Chester.

Im just vaguely interested in a slightly bored way as to why we get some many posts about how crap London is. No one has to like it or live here! I don’t think Londoners go around berating people for not living here, do they?

Many of these posts and threads seem to be by people who did not grow up in London and so view something else as normal or more kid friendly. I’m 65 and I’m from London. I would never consider moving out. It’s home for me obviously but I also love being able to get to almost anywhere easily (and mostly free!), all the galleries and museums etc plus gigs and concerts. Like @CuriousKangaroo I also like an afternoon rave up (80s music), I’m going to the next one in October. This week I went to the Hayward Gallery, I’ve got tickets coming up to two different concerts at the Cadogan Hall, going to the Cartier exhibition at the V&A, Richmond theatre in November…. Probably more. I love chatting to different people (yes, strangers!) and I have LOTS of friends in easy reach as well as family. It’s perfect for me, maybe not for others but it’s a them thing, not a London thing imo

Yeah but Manchester etc aren’t even a smelly flea on the back of London, they’re just places people live. London is the best city in the world 🤷‍♀️

I'm London born and bred, and come from a long line of londoners.
I love it, it is in my bones.

However, its dirty, increasingly crime riddled, people seem to be lacking in basic manners and civic pride, and overcrowded.

It's just not what it used to be.

Many of these posts and threads seem to be by people who did not grow up in London and so view something else as normal or more kid friendly. I’m 65 and I’m from London. I

It's probably because you are 65 so it was a lot cheaper for you to buy 😆😆😆

Neither is the rest of the country. Neither is the rest of Europe. It’s all relative.

I wonder if it’s because London can stir big feelings in a way other cities possibly can’t. I grew up surrounding two amazing cities (we moved when I was early teens). I moved to London for uni and feel hugely in love with it. Lived there for over a decade in at least 6 different areas. It was definitely a love affair. I live in the suburbs now and go back to ‘central’ and so many tube stations and parks have intense feelings and nostalgia for me.

weirdly I would love to move back when my kids have moved out

@Ddakji I'm a Londoner as I said & there are many things I don't like about it now. You don't have to read if it triggers you.

I have seen lots of threads hating different home counties & have said plenty of negative things about Surrey myself 😆

I wonder if it’s because London can stir big feelings in a way other cities possibly can’t

I think some just make it part of their identity hence why they get personally offended.

Not in London but have seen this on my last 3 visits to Manchester for work.

London, and the UK in general, has issues rn, I think anyone can see that. But I still enjoy being in London. I live in zone 6
leafy green commuter town with a 30 min train journey into London which, for me, is the perfect compromise.

I studied for 3 years in London in the 90s and really wish I’d bought a little 1 bed and stayed. Especially for someone who’s been single most their life and adores history, there’s just so much art, entertainment, free venues, music events and social clubs there compared to any other place I lived. I just think it would be harder to feel lonely or bored for long.

Also, I think it would have been better for my career as I work for the Civil Service and as I got older I was dismayed at how many jobs that were perfect for me were advertised by the Home Office, House of Lords and No,10 private office so although I’ve done well in my career outside of London, I’m pretty certain I’d have had more interesting work and progressed further where my skills set was strongest if I’d had the foresight (and courage!) to have stayed. Oh well, 🙂🙃

But the love isn’t based on anything concrete. You don’t fall in love with a person because you both like to work out or share the same favourite author - it’s that something unknown.
I can’t explain it - London is a mixture of nostalgia (I was born here), memories, mood, anticipation, possibilities, aspirations and I don’t know what else. I’m not leading the actual life that I do in my imagination but that doesn’t seem to matter. If I’m feeling bad all I have to do is walk down certain streets and everything is ok again. Love it.

@hangerup sorry for being an old Londoner 😹
Anyone who thinks London is dirty, crime ridden etc now should have lived in Shepherd’s Bush in the 1970s. Mind you, it’s not much better now, you can’t polish a turd no matter how many Westfields and Dorsetts try

I live in south London and love it. I like the fact I can be in central London in 15 mins. 1 / 2 hours away from the beach. My SIL moved away as did other friends their children comeback to London every week to socialise and work which says a lot

I'm going to take a guess that it's just because of the numbers.

Add that into the fact that it feels like the end of a relationship and you're going to get a lot of people posting about it

actually, it's quite surprising that people don't discuss sense of place more on here. But there is a wealth of literature around it so it's a very strong feeling. Attachment to place and how disconcerting it can be when the attachment wears off.... a big thing.

Hiraeth? You can't go home again?

People are bound to want to bond over it. Hopefully not start an argument about it.

leaving a place that meant a lot to you - for a lifetime in some cases - is bound to be something that people want to post about.

I read an interview with Michael Stipe of REM and he said that the song people mention to him the most, in terms of random fans approaching, is "Leaving New York". Interesting.

Ah but Westfield shep bush is still far more civilised than the horror that is Westfield Stratford.

Yes, you’re right. It was always a dump, I had family there. I guess at least it was less crowded: less people jostling, less cars. And no vape shops!

I live in south London and love it. I like the fact I can be in central London in 15 mins. 1 / 2 hours away from the beach

Where do you live?

Ah but Westfield shep bush is still far more civilised than the horror that is Westfield Stratfor

That really is shit

i'm in z3 Sw London and have never got to the coast in one hour and my journey to central is not 15mins door to door.