Stay in small flat or move twice for more space with baby?

[bigorsmallhome]

First time poster!

I'd love some advice for those who have had children and lived in bigger or smaller homes in London, as I try and decide what's best for our family (hypothetical for now - we're planning to try for our first baby next year).

DH and I have lived in London for the last 5 years in a small 2 bed flat (50sqm) with a small terrace. It's felt small since we moved in, but I'm sure everyone would like more space. We've tried to sell it for the last 6 months but had no luck so far due to people wanting more space. We have a very fortunate combined income, so could technically afford to upsize to a 3/4 bed house nearby. The main pain here is £40k stamp duty every time we would move, plus solicitor/moving costs.

I grew up in the countryside, so I'm used to having lots of space to raise children. I know that when our first child is 2/3 we will leave London and move to the countryside, but for work and lifestyle reasons, plus I've always wanted to have my first baby & mat leave in the city, we want to stay in London for now.

Our dilemma:

• Do we stay where we are for the next 4 years (until baby is 2-3), try and get rid of lots of our stuff, live minimally which will be tough, but save lots of money for when we move out London? Is it possible to have a toddler in such a small space without going crazy, knowing it means my family can't come to stay and help as easily too?
• Move now to a 3-4 bed in London, knowing we will want to move again in 3-6 years time out of London, so we'd be paying £40k in stamp duty twice in a short period of time, which will be a strain on finances

Thank you for any advice!

Personally, unless you’re swimming in cash, I’d stay where you are!

40k is a lot to “waste” on a move if you know it’s going to be short-term. Plus, this doesn’t account for the costs of solicitors, removals, furnishing a place that you don’t intend to live in for long…

We had our first baby whilst living in a 46sqm one-bed flat. It was fine - you only know what you know! And it’s amazing how much of the “must have” baby stuff you really do not need.

Only caveat is that things might become trickier if you plan on having a second before the end of your four year timeframe. We moved when baby two was due (though only to a slightly bigger two-bed), and it was helpful to have a second box room for the toddler. Also, we were previously on the second floor with no lift - it was never too much trouble with one (mainly used the sling, and had a very small foldable pram), but would have been logistically/physically quite tough with two.

I'd move. Outside space saves my sanity, and that is a small flat with one child and tiny if you have another in quick succession. If it feels small with two of you once it's filled with all the shite that comes with kids you'll go crazy. Plus in a bigger house you might not actually feel you need to move again so quickly. Although sounds like you need to drop your asking price - people want more space for the money your asking, not more space in general.

Moving to a house gives you options- you don’t know how you’ll feel until you have a child, you may decide to stay in London, in which case you won’t need to move again.

If you do decide to leave London, it’s likely that the house will increase in value by more than a flat will (usual caveats apply), so take this into account when thinking about the £40k stamp duty costs. You also have scope to extend a house and increase its value that way.

Put simply, I’d go for the option that gives you a chance to decide what you want when you’ve had a baby- and that’s the house.

sounds like you’re in a tricky situation, but it’s great you’re weighing all your options carefully. Staying in the flat for a few more years might feel tight, but many families manage in smaller spaces, especially with some decluttering and creative storage solutions. It could also help you save significantly for the future, which seems like a priority for you.

That said, if the lack of space would have a big impact on your well-being—especially with a toddler—it might be worth exploring options for upsizing now, even with the added costs, to make life easier during those early years.

Ultimately, it depends on how much you think you can adapt to the space you’re in now versus the financial trade-offs of moving twice. Both approaches are valid—it’s just about what works best for your family’s needs and peace of mind.

Wishing you the best with your decision! and creative storage solutions. It could also help you save significantly for the future, which seems like a priority for you.

That said, if the lack of space would have a big impact on your well-being—especially sounds like you’re in a tricky situation, but it’s great you’re weighing all your options carefully. Staying in the flat for a few more years might feel tight, but many families manage in smaller spaces, especially with some decluttering and creative storage solutions. It could also help you save significantly for the future, which seems like a priority for you.

That said, if the lack of space would have a big impact on your well-being—especially with a toddler—it might be worth exploring options for upsizing now, even with the added costs, to make life easier during those early years.

Ultimately, it depends on how much you think you can adapt to the space you’re in now versus the financial trade-offs of moving twice. Both approaches are valid—it’s just about what works best for your family’s needs and peace of mind.

Wishing you the best with your decisio with a toddler—it might be worth exploring options for upsizing now, even with the added costs, to make life easier during those early years.