I’ve ruined my life: can I ever move back to London?

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Sorry for the dramatic title but I’m currently in tears wondering why I ever made such a stupid decision.

2 years ago: I was in a vulnerable position, recently bereaved and struggling with trying to find an affordable house to buy in London (where I’m from) that met our requirements. We had a budget of £500k but everywhere we looked had structural issues, neighbour disputes etc. I was at a very low point and not really resilient enough to cope with it.

My other half persuaded me to look at properties in a town 5 hours away from London. Much much more affordable and much nicer properties for far less money . It all just seemed easier. I visited on a sunny day, stupidly agreed and now here we are with no family or friends nearby and it rains 95% of the time.

I am incredibly miserable here. We live in a really nice part of town but in the centre, there are huge social problems, and lots of substance abuse. It rains non stop and is always overcast and grim. I miss my old life in London so much, it hurts my heart. I miss having friends and family around, I miss the buzz, I miss it all.

The issue is we moved before interest rates went up and bought a house for about £450k. I know we’d never be able to afford a nice house in London for that price, nor could we afford 2x commuter season tickets in a suburb. Have I completely priced myself out? I already feel like a huge idiot, and wish I could turn back time and put my foot down. Really grateful for any advice.

Could you honestly afford a house in London when you were looking? If everything you saw had a structural flaw, then it suggests perhaps not tbh.

Where did you move to? Was it just house prices? Or does your OH have family there? There are lots of places within relatively easy visiting distance from London that you could afford with 500k

It sounds like you couldn't afford it when you were looking anyway so you haven't priced yourself out. You could have got a 2 bed flat depending on where you were looking but sounds like maybe you are better off where you are anyway housing wise?

If it's any consolation it's been miserable in the SE constantly for the last two years too. Non stop rain in this part of Kent. So don't move back for an improvement in the weather.

It's been non stop raining in London the first few months the of the year too if that's any consolation

Would you settle for a flat?

I’m struggling to believe you couldn’t find anything in the whole of London for 500k! Where were you looking? In my corner of SE London there are 2-3 bed terraces for under 500k. And hundreds of flats in your budget. We have a really well connected train station too that gets you into London Bridge or Victoria in 15 mins. So yes, you can afford to move back to London but you’ll need to be in an area, probably south east, where properties are in that budget. Do you have kids? How many bedrooms do you need?

Are you 5 hours from London driving or train, or both?

I don't think you've priced yourself out - that implies you would have been able to afford a decent property in London two years ago and you can't now. Whereas it sounds like the issue is that you couldn't then either?

There's nothing wrong with admitting you're wrong and moving back to London - but you may have to rent. I guess that's a decision for you. What does your DP think?

God, go back. Buy somewhere small.

It rains non-stop because you live in the UK, not because you don’t live in London.

You could afford a 2 bedroom in SE London for £450k - would that work?

Also, it's raining everywhere - lots here in London too.

Which part of London OP? Could you not look a bit further out (not 5 hours out)

Do you have children? If not could you just buy a one bed flat in London?

im buying a 2 bed for me and my child as can’t afford a house but want to stay

The weather has been miserable everywhere for months. Spring is round the corner. It does take a while to settle into a new house, and especially a new area.
Easy to say, but try and focus on the positives.

If you are 5 hours out of London, there are far nicer places you will be able to live for the same money. And it's rained everywhere for bloody months!

Don't go back to London because you are uphappy where you are. Go back because there are things abiout London you specifically miss and cannot get anywhere else. (But I lived in London for 10 years - almost everything can be found elsewhere.)

Or identify what you need around you to be happy and look to see where else that can be found.

Honestly op. How hard have you really tried to settle in where you are? I could have written your post a decade ago. We moved to the NW from the south and I hated it. I was desperate to move back and cried when I had to come home after visiting friends.

One day something clicked and I realised I was responsible for my own happiness. I made a huge effort to meet people and to accept social invites. I also changed my job. And now? I am happy. Really happy! I would not return even if I was paid as I have lots of good people around me and its the people that count at the end of the day.

I can visit London on the train easily from here and Manchester isn't far so that covers "buzzy"

Stop looking at things you hate. Start looking at the positives. There will be some. And make some changes. Only you can do that and it will be worth it

I moved out of London a year ago and it did hurt my heart a bit in the winter i missed it.
Meeting new people has been the cure for me through various sports/cold water dips etc but I agree with other posters. You could definitely find something in London for £500k

How big a place do you need? You can get a decent two bed flat for that money quite easily

It's rained constantly in the east Anglia this year as well.

Feel free to move back to London but at the moment the weather is shit everywhere.

I think you will be much happier if you go back to London. 💐

Can’t you move to a home county and commute in to London? 500k will buy you a semi or terrace. Like 30 mins in to London by train for example.

so the further south, the better the weather, wow who would have thought it.

Absolutely move back! London is wonderful and I find it hugely cheering too. I don't think big houses are the be all and end all and location much more important.

You’re looking at London through rose tinted glasses. It’s rained constantly here too. Sounds like you couldn’t afford somewhere decent two years ago and not instead of a pokey flat you have a decent home. Friends you can make anywhere, you just need to apply yourself. Family being far away is shit, but not the bee all and end all to a happier life if you would have been miserable the rest of the time. Sounds like you’re in a nicer area with a nicer house.

Did you move to Plymouth? It's always raining there. Does it have to be where you are now or London? There are so many lovely places to live in the UK.

What was the reason from your choice of location? Is that where your partner is from?
I only wonder why you went so far. Not being able to afford a house you want in London is one thing but it's quite a stretch to go five hours away before finding somewhere unless you already have ties there.
I'm from London, have tried a few times to live elsewhere in the UK but always end up moving back because regardless of weather, friends, whatever, it just feels like my home and it's where I want to be.
It sounds as though you would be a lot happier if you move back, but is your partner up for a return move?

Move back to London.

I could never leave, it's rained a lot this year though so that's not realistically a factor!