What’s it like living in a flat in London with a young family?

[baloosbaloos]

Sorry if this sounds twatty. We stretched ourselves to move back to London to a three bed terraced in a rough area (that I love). Now husband has lost his job. He’s unlikely to get another one that pays as much and we’re trying to decide what to do.

We have a one year old, thinking of trying for another. We have family in London who help with childcare. We feel settled and we love it here. To stay and be comfortable we’d have to downsize to a flat; if we were lucky we could afford maybe 700-800 feet of space.

I know so many people raise families in flats but we were both brought up in the suburbs and I don’t know what it’s like. Is it better for our kid to move somewhere where we don’t have family connections but can afford a three bed semi? (we would probably move up north where I am originally from but don’t have family there any more) Is it really difficult to live in a flat with small children? Are there people here who’ve done it, and what would you advise?

We live in a 2 bed flat in London and have a 1 year old. In my home country it is the norm to live in flats so for me it is fine. For me the main things are:

1. Storage: try beds with ottoman beds with storage
2. Declutter every 3 or 6 months
3. Rotate toys
4. Either a lift in the building or a garden flat
5. Building with a communal garden is a plus
6. Washer/dryer combo

Some flats have also garages that you can use for storage, I would like for that as well.

@ChatBFP no you are totally right, we need to white paper it really and properly run the costs of all our different options…

@Foxesandsquirrels sounds amazing! Is that in London?

@baloosbaloos Yeap. It's one of the many many new builds that are popping up. I don't know how much it costs privately as she's a council tenant but it's mixed. It is a very European model I feel.

It’s London.. the city and its amazing parks and amenities are your kids’ playground. You will manage. Millions do. I personally loved living in a flat with kids, and I wouldn’t give up family involvement for anything. Also, prices only go up in London

Cool. No probs. Sorry about your partner's job loss and hope you find the right thing for you. If that is a flat, I am sure it will be totally fine

We did it for a while. It was fine. TBH, even after we had a garden, DC always wanted to go to the park/playground. A sandpit in the park would amuse for hours, one in the garden for 10 mins. And the kids will soon get older too. In London, they will have lots of opportunities for activities etc and will be able to take themselves there. In the countryside you will be a taxi for 18 years. As they get older, they will want own space though…
And agree with PP about value of a local network, who you can call on for the occasional favour or friendly chat, whether that’s family, friends or both.

We lived in a 2 bed flat until dcs were 4.5 and 6m. Also grew up in a London flat and lived in one as a single adult. I've always lived in purpose-built flats which have all had lifts, so no issues bringing buggies up stairs. It was easier in our old flat (no steps at all from building entrance to our hall) than in our current Victorian house, which has a few annoying steps up to the front door.
Neighbours were fine with the kids noise. As I grew up in flats, I've never been particularly sensitive to it so I've never been anxious about keeping them quiet and had no complaints. We heard our upstairs neighbours kids but it was just background noise. It was quieter with the concrete floors than it is with wooden floorboards in our house now.

We had no garden or balcony in our flat, but we had a big open plan kitchen/living area. The dc would play there and all around the flat while I cooked dinner. We have a garden now outside our kitchen, but I can't let toddler play there while I'm cooking as it has stairs leading to it. We've always been a "get out of the house" family though and would much rather have a trip out to parks or museums than be stuck at home in the garden day after day. I'm the kind of parent who does toddler classes and activities every day so being at home is just for the mornings and bed time really.

Having no stairs inside the flat was brilliant and so much more convenient than the 4 flights we have now. My toddler climbs the stairs on her own but then whines for help 2 floors up.
We were rubbish at being ruthless declutterers but we just learned how to make the most of our storage.
We hung out laundry on an airer indoors, which did take up space, but I find dryers wreck clothes and cost too much. Even with a garden now we mostly hang clothes on an airer in the bathroom, because it's less faff than worrying about whether it might rain.
We rarely put heating on in our flat as we were on the 3rd floor with flats above and below.

There are flats and flats. We lived in a 2 bedroom second floor flat when my DS was born. That was quite tough. We then
moved to 3 bedroom ground floor flat with large garden. I dont think there was much difference to living in a small house to be honest (probably more space in fact)!

I can only really answer for DB and SIL and her DB and SIL. The latter couple lived in Hackney til their DD was 3 or so then due to covid moved to SW where both are from and had another DC. They gave childcare and both their DPs live in SW plus the SIL has a job in the city. They did like living in London and lived very near a park and had a balcony and their flat had a lift and loved transport links and the area but 2 bedroom flat for 4 people would’ve been tricky got them, they’re in a house now.

DB and SIL live in a 2 bedroom fairly modern flat with their 5 year old and SIL due to have second baby this week. There don’t appear to be sound issues as flats are well soundproofed and all neighbours have been lovely. They like the area (Hackney) for good transport links, area generally (good community spirit, lots happening, good primary school and nursery). However they moved back to SW over lockdown for 18 months to a cottage and SIL especially appreciated the garden, spacious kitchen (can get big fridge freezer in, not so in flat!), separate floors. They’re looking to move next year to a house probably SE London as a house in Hackney is just too expensive. They’ve never commented on dragging a buggy but are on second floor, not steep stairs.

Other friends in London suburbs areas like the fact that there’s a lot for families/kids but also adults within really good reach.