Help! Do we stay in London or leave?!

[Kipkay35]

Hello everyone,
I really need some of your experience to help with our decision of where to live.

My husband and I live in London. We love it here, we go to a lot of restaurants, shows, adventures in London. We both have jobs we enjoy. Our income is reasonable, not rich but not struggling. We own a small flat with a small garden.

My husband has been offered a job in oxford. The job is great and a lot more money. My job gives me a good opportunity to work in other cities. We have spent a few weekends there and enjoyed our time there.

We are not ready to leave London yet and have lots of friends here (in our early 30s, most have not got on the property ladder yet). However, I'm pregnant with our first baby and I am starting to think about other things that I've never thought about before! (Schools, outdoor space, closet to family, will my friends be moving out of London when they want to buy?!)

Can anyone who has moved out or stayed in London give me their experiences? Were you lonely when you moved?

Thank you!

Where’s your family? Having a baby means you will be naturally cutting back on seeings friends and going out.
Tbh you had me at “a lot more money”- if that enables you to cut back your hours once the baby is here and have a bigger home I’d say that’s win win.

Thanks for your reply.
Family would be 2 hours away instead of 4 hours.
I just can't stop thinking about which option is better!

I live in London with my DH and DD. I absolutely love it. Some friends have moved out but lots haven't and everyone comes to visit as it's such a great draw.

I love the variety and diversity here and continue to visit galleries, theatre etc and would miss that terribly if I left.

We love our DD school and local community and our jobs are here.

But in your shoes I'd definitely give Oxford a trial for a year and see how you find it!

I adore the UK countryside and we go away every school holiday to get a break from city life and be in nature.

One thing though, be proactive and join baby groups as having a baby can be very isolating.

Good luck!

If you have a supportive helpful family I’d rather be nearer to them. Restaurants, museums- they aren’t London specific. I’m London born and bred and I probably go to them the same if not less than people who live outside of the city

Loads of people commute between London and Oxford, is that an option?

I wouldn't necessarily want to move while pregnant, life with a newborn can be difficult and isolating, and having friends/familiar places around is so helpful.

I moved out of a city when children came along. Never regretted it. Yes, it was hard making new friends but toddler groups are good for this. Back in the city all friends have now bought outside and are scattered all over so if we had stayed there we would probably have done the same. When babies arrive your world is likely to be more hone based and so the restaurants etc will not be so important. Once dust settles you can always go up for a weekend, we do.

Can you rent out your flat in London and rent in Oxford for a year or two to see if you like it?

Thanks everyone, that is very helpful. Lots to think about. Thank you!

If Oxford is two hours nearer your family that's a massive reason to move there. It's also a really lovely city with great connections to London so day trips are totally doable. For a better job with more money I'd definitely give it a go.

I don't think we'd want to commute. Im thinking being pregnant is both a good time to move (new start, baby groups etc) and a bad time (lonely, will I have support? Will I be bored!?)

Do any of your friends in London have kids?

I'm an ex londoner and I live in Oxford. I love it here, it's green and beautiful with great countryside nearby and also has plenty to do in the city. It's never going to be as diverse and exciting as London but it's close enough to go back for the day. However, like London, Oxford is incredibly, stupidly expensive and most people end up buying in satellite villages. And it has a huge traffic problem. All in all though, I think it's a lovely place for my son to grow up in.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers one friend has a new baby but they live in south London (we're in north) so it's a good hours journey to see them!

@kellyABC thank you for your reply! :) Yes, that's another thing to consider, housing is pretty much exactly the same price! A 3-4 bed is not shy of a million pounds! The traffic where I live is also terrible so this won't be a new thing for us