To move or not to move

[campahannah]

Currently myself, my dh and our 3 children (10, 8, 6) our living quite a comfortable life in north west London. My dh has been offered to relocate to either New York or Los Angeles. If we move to NY he will earn considerably more than in LA, however if we move to LA I will earn maybe 20k more a year but he will have a salary cut. Considering the cost of housing between the 2, we could afford a nice 6 bed house in LA or a smaller 4 bed apartment in NY. Where would you be inclined to move? It has caused a lot of tension between us so I'd like other people's opinions to influence me one way or another.

I think it totally depends on the kind of lifestyle you lead.

I'd move to LA on the coast for the beaches if I had a choice between there and New York or London. How amazing to be able to pick. It depends whether you want a city lifestyle for your family. A 6 bed house in a LA and both of you still presumably earning comfortably sounds like a fantastic opportunity to share the work life balance and enjoy a great new family lifestyle. Is your DH wanting New York so he doesn't have to take a pay cut?

Do you mind if I ask what salaries you will be earning? Obviously in la you have almost year round sunshine versus ny having pretty similar weather to here (if that matters). The cost of living is more in ny, but if the household income is more, that might not matter? Ultimately, how much worse off are you going to be in either place? Maybe send the pros and cons of each place. Where are you looking at living in each place? One of my old friends has children who go to Oaks Christian school near la and I hear it's very good. Let us know your thoughts xx

@Radishesandcake I personally would prefer to live in LA too! I have always wanted to live somewhere warm and NY just doesn't cut it for me. However my dh wants to move to NY due to the higher salary. I think I'd rather remain in London than in NY because what's the point of packing everything up to live in a smaller residence but dh doesn't see it that way

@Londonmamma64 I don't feel too comfortable giving out our salary but I can give you an idea of the increases in salary

London
dh = x
me = y

New York
dh = x + 45k
me = y + 5k

Los Angeles
dh = x - 3/4k
me = y + 20k

Does that help?

Pros of NY
Added salary
Better schools (I think)
And it's New York
Cons of NY
Smaller house
More pollution
Very urban

Pros of LA
Bigger house
Year round sunshine
better quality of life (the sun, sea sand etc)
Cons of LA
Less income
I've heard the traffic is extremely bad
Longer commute to work

In LA we are looking at this house www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/5757-Hoback-Glen-Rd_Hidden-Hills_CA_91302_M20302-82194
and in NY we are looking at this apartment
www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/160-Leroy-St-North9b_New-York_NY_10014_M37642-74103

I'll have a look at Oaks Christian and get back to you

Wow it seems like you're living quite the life. With the prices of the houses, will a 30k drop really affect you? What kind of mansion are you currently living in? Therefore I think you should just move to where you think you will have the better quality of life

LA sounds like it will suit you more. Both houses are lovely but I’d choose the LA one based on outside space with 3 kids

Are you outdoorsy as a family? If so I’d say LA plus it’s more of a change from London. Both are great though - in LA the people are nicer but not kinder, in NY they are kinder but not nicer! Good luck. I’d love to know what sectors you both work in that careers there are an option for both of you, that’s very lucky or good planning!

LA without a doubt.

@londonmamma64 I've just looked at Oaks Christian and although it looks very good, a great balance of academic and sports, it starts at 5th grade which is inconvenient because I wanted all the kids to go to the same school. I was looking at Sierra Canyon too, have you heard of that school?
As for the house, our current house is on sale which my dh inherited from his parents and added with our savings makes the above houses affordable.
Is it possible for you to ask your friend to send you a recommendation of k-12 schools in la??

@UntamedShrew I would say if given the opportunity, we are pretty oudoorsy. However, myself and my dh work long hours so its quite hard to do so (or its raining )
My dh is a investment banker and I work for an american law firm so my boss was happy to recommend me to their LA and NY branches so it was fairly easy (and lucky) on that behalf

if that's the houses you're looking at then the salary drop is almost irrelevant. so LA has far more pro's for you . I'd prefer to bring children up there.

@Pancake4life I still think it is relevant as from our savings we are putting in about 600k in. The rest of the funding is from the sales of our London home which my dh inherited

Buy a smaller place in LA

My friend has given me a breakdown of k-12 (i'm presuming you're looking for private) schools in the area.
Oaks Christian = A laidback school that, like you mentioned, has a good balance of academics and sports. Amazing facilities and teachers who genuinely care (possibly a biased opinion as her kids go there)
Sierra Canyon = No so academic, much more sporty (especially basketball). Famous alumni include the Jenner's and Will Smith sent his kids there. Many famous basketballers send their children here. It is very much a school for famous kids
Viewpoint School = Probably the closest school to you (where you're looking at anyways). Very academic, not so sporty (Trumps daughter went there)
Buckley School = A longer commute, once again mainly academic focused and not sport (Lionel Richie's daughter went there)
What school do your kids currently go to? By knowing this maybe we can find a similar style school?
You mentioned you're selling your house, would it be too nosey of me to see the listing? I'm a real estate agent so I love looking at houses haha xx

@StrikeWhileTheCoffeeIsHot smaller? Surely if we can afford it, we should buy a bigger house especially with 3 young kids?

@londonmamma64 my dd's attend South Hampstead (SHHS) and my ds attends UCS. I personally would prefer a co-ed school because I think it helps them integrate into a work place better (when that time comes ). However, I didn't want to send them to Highgate as I found it to too formal and there wasn't a lot of freedom. My oldest daughter (10) is neither sporty or academic, she is much more into art and music. My middle son (8) is very sporty, he likes football and hockey. My youngest daughter (6) is sporty and very bright for her age, although she is too young for us to really see her interests.

Here is a link for our house, it's been for sale for a while, so if you know anyone interested, let me know www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/55733026

Please tell your friend thank you for all her help!

Things that I would consider:-

• Commuting times and distances? (Subway in NY is good. Is LA traffic as bad as it's made out to be?). You don't want to choose LA for the lifestyle and discover you all spend hours in the car.
• The distance and time difference between UK family/friends in each location.
• The nature of your job roles, type of work in each location? To me, NY sounds like where the big international deals would be done with LA being more parochial (relatively speaking).
• The length of each posting in relation to ages of your children. If you're going to come back to the UK you need to get them back in good time for GCSEs.

I know a little bit about NYC because of family links. It's a fabulous and amazing place to be but for me, the lack of green space would get me down. However everyone with the means (and your budget suggests you would have the means) spends a good part of the summer months in their Hamptons beach house, so they get beach and city.

Good luck with your decision. I'm sure you'll have a brilliant adventure wherever you choose to go.

@QueenOfToast yes I agree workwise, obviously with my husband being a investment banker, NY makes more sense as it is the financial hub of the world. Commutes are much longer in LA (according to google maps a 35-50minute drive and I have no clue the extent of the traffic) and in NY it is a 31minute subway journey. I am aware of the factor of losing valuable time commuting but I'm not too bothered about my quality of life, rather my kids. If they can chill in the sun whilst I'm overloaded with paperwork, I think it's worth the extra commute. I'm not close with my parents and my dh's family live in Sydney so regarding the family situation, that is the least of our worries for relocating. It is planned that this move is permanent so hopefully GCSE's aren't too much of a concern. I'd rather move the kids out of London before they get too attached to their friends. Maybe if the dh husband gets his way with NY, I'll have to insist on a beach house . Thank you for the support, hopefully we choose where we should relocate soon as this is very stressful

I am familiar with those schools. I would probably advise you to look at Sierra Canyon - however, like here it is quite hard to get into a private school at non-entrance ages. I would definitely think that Viewpoint and Buckley would be too academically demanding for your kids, certainly your oldest 2 - and I'm sure you want all 3 to go to the same school. They have a similar mannerism to Highgate which I too dislike

BTW, nice house - I would love to live there if I could afford it!

Good luck with you decision, please let us know what you choose!

LA - just such a different lifestyle to London and if the Covid situation rumbles on and on and I would prefer to be outdoors in LA rather than stuck inside in NY. Presumably, you could always move again to NY later when your kids were older? That would be my choice anyway.

Good afternoon, thank you all so much for your help. We have finally made the decision and I managed to convince my husband towards the idea of LA!! With covid it will all take a bit of time but hopefully everything will be finalised and we will be in the sun by the beginning of next year!

@campahannah Thanks for the update. I hope that the move goes smoothly for you.

Thanks for updating. How exciting! The year round good weather does seem really appealing after the cold, muddy winter we've just had. Hope all goes well with the move and you love the new lifestyle