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What is your point of view on this? Am I too demanding or....

3 replies

MatieBG · 29/09/2018 16:21

Hello Ladies,

Am 37yo East European, having a relation with English 3 years yet. Both we are educated, serious , with good jobs, independent individuals. We are living together for 18 months.
This weekend we are having an argument over can he call me "shut up, f...ing miserable caw" when we are discussing something and he just disagree with me and want me to stop. He does it very often recently. I was straight to him explaining I find this abusive and it upset me. I can not accept it is normal a partner to refers this way to his beloved one. Also consider every selfrespect woman wont't stand it and accept it as normal.
My partner trying to convince me in England this is normal and it is a different culture here. I totally refuse to accept it is a matter of different cultures between us. I really find it disrespectful and abusive, can not accept pretending love someone you can dare talk this way.
I know there are different family models and what is not normal for me is normal for other but still my inner voice shouts this is not right.
So what is you point of view, ladies? Is this normal attitude between partners, is it some kind of "loving joke"I cant understand because of the language barrier, is it different culture to mine or what? Am confused and upset and decided to take a third party opinion so to decide if am right or not in this situation. Thank you for your comments and wish you lovely weekend.
M.

OP posts:
LBOCS2 · 30/09/2018 15:53

In my experience, no it's not normal in a loving relationship. DH is a Londoner and would use that terminology in conversation, but would never actually call me it (although he has been known to chivvy me out of a grump by telling me to stop being such a miserable cow - with a smile on his face). We have a blanket rule that we don't call each other names when we argue as it is disrespectful and hurtful.

defineme · 30/09/2018 15:55

Not normal.

itssquidstella · 30/09/2018 15:56

Not normal. If his tone sounds aggressive or hurtful, then that's what it is, and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

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