Keyworker place/home alone-please help me get my head straight

[DrChasuble]

Husband is NHS senior manager and I am P/T TA. 3 children, DS Y8 turns 13 next week, DD1 Y7 is 11 August birthday and DD2 9. First lockdown my school didnt rota me at all to come in and while I was grateful at first, I found it a real struggle with home learning trying to support all 3 of them and relationship with DS in particular suffered (very little support from his school and he would spend most of time sneaking screen time)
This time we have different management at my school and I am rota-ed 3 mornings a week and my youngest has a keyworker place for those sessions at our school. My dilemma is what to do with the other 2. I have only ever left them alone for an hour or 2 at a time and this would be nearer 5 hours each of the 3 days. DS is vehemently opposed to going in to school, but I know when left alone he doesnt have the maturity or self discipline (understandably) to not be just playing on his phone and to do the lessons and work set. DD2 will be much better at doing her work at home and also doesnt want to go to school alone (she is my anxious nervy one) but if a problem happens I'm not sure how she would cope. It seems such a long time to leave them alone and I feel completely torn. Any thoughts gratefully received.

I know it's not ideal but I would be ok with leaving them as long as they get along and are reasonably sensible to know what to do in emergency. This time round our secondary is providing way more online livestream lessons. Anyway I wouldn't send them in because they may not do their school work, only if I thought they wouldn't be safe at home.

Thanks for the reply. Thats helpful. Yes of course first priority is their safety! And I dont know if that's home alone with all the risks that brings or being in school with those risks. I worry about their education but that is of course secondary.Their relationship is fairly typical of siblings - they can be brilliant together but there is a lot of bickering too. Neither are particularly calm in a crisis. My school is only local so they can always contact me if there was a problem. I've never been the most decisive and clear thinking and the pandemic/peri- menopause seems to have completely paralysed me on my ability to make any decisions!

It sounds like they are quite motivated to stay home so would be open to a safety lecture on what to do in different situations. Do you have friendly neighbours who they could call on in an emergency. It's good to have someone nearby even though it's unlikely they would need them.

DD2 will be much better at doing her work at home and also doesnt want to go to school alone

I’m confused-I thought you said your DD2 had a place at school?

I’d leave secondary-age children at home for just mornings together, yes.

Maybe offer them a deal. They can stay home as long as the work is completed. Make it clear you will contact school the first time they do not complete work.

Give a clear contract of rules that are written down and gone through together. Again, make it very clear these are non-negotiable. They will go to school if they are unable to follow them.

@Redlocks28

DD2 will be much better at doing her work at home and also doesnt want to go to school alone

I’m confused-I thought you said your DD2 had a place at school?

I’d leave secondary-age children at home for just mornings together, yes.

Dd3 has place in school. Its DS (12 turning 13) and DD1 (11) who will be at home.

It's only three very short days so I wouldn't be concerned for childcare reasons. They have each other for company so aren't alone. So, for me, it would come down to if they can engage with remote learning, maybe see how that goes for a week? I have my year 10 in school but he would be completely alone for over 9 hours 5 days a week and has difficulty with remote learning at home.

Even more confused-you have a DD1 and a DD3, but no DD2?! Your OP mentioned a DD2?

Regardless of this-I would keep the older two at home. Be clear with them-it’s their responsibility to finish every piece of work.

Blondephantom I don't think that threat would work. I assume all KW spaces will have been allocated and there won't be spaces held open for those kids who might need it, might not, depends how they get on at home so yeah, we'll give it a try but hey school, if you can keep a couple of places free just in case that's be great, thanks .

OP what are your hours because nearly five hours out of the house seems a lot for a morning session in a local school (so not a big commute)?

I'd let them stay at home but with ground rules in place like no cooking, boiling kettles etc. Check in regularly on WhatsApp. Have a timetable drawn up so they know what they are expected to do that morning and if it's not completed they'll have to work on it when you're home and no phone/consoles whatever until they've done their work for the day.

I am in a similar situation.

People are easily confused! It's quite obvious OP made a simple error referring to her second daughter as Dd3 because she's her third child. The info is all there at the start: a boy and two girls, youngest girl has a KW place. Other two want to stay home.

Our 2 are the same age as your youngest 2.
DH is a key worker, predominantly wfh but has occasional, unpredictable, days where he needs to go to work. Last lockdown I wasnt working. This time I'm in a school, and the rota has me in 1-2 days a week. We have said the 11 yr old would be ok at home alone for the odd day. The 9 yr old would need a school place. Desperatly hoping DH doesnt get a summonse while I'm at work is the current plan!

Can you try the oldest 2 staying at home initially, with the threat of school if work doesnt get done? Start on some rules - get everyone involved with coming up with them - answering doors, phones, cooking, arguing etc etc

@MargotLovedTom1 all 3 schools this house are involved in are requesting "bookings" for kw places on a weekly basis. So, in our case, if work wasnt done on week 1 of the trial, we certainly could request places for the following week (no guarantee we'd get it, now or then - first come first served each week 🤦‍♀️)

@MargotLovedTom1, lack of spaces is less likely to be an issue at Secondary than in Primaries. I appreciate that not all Secondaries will have spaces but it is far more likely they will. There is less demand due to the ages of the pupils.

Schools may have to prioritise if overwhelmed but it shouldn't be that places are allocated and then held on to. We certainly had changes on the keyworker list during the first lockdown. Obviously, every school differs in their approach and there are other considerations.

The consequence of going to school was enough for my daughter last year when she was Y8 but every child is different.

Point taken, we are in a three tier system so I wasn't thinking in terms of primary vs secondary. The schools here are very strict about uptake of places due to high demand, and there is little flexibility (unless you are rescinding a place after initially accepting).

However I would make the point that schools will differ in how rigid they are in terms of reasons for children attending. Ultimately, the intention is that KW places are for children for whom it would not be safe for them to remain at home, not because they are non-vulnerable students who can't be arsed do their work (unless that's due to lack of technology). The OP may find herself having to tell a few white lies as to the reason for applying for places.

How interruptable are you during your work mornings?
As a TA, do you get breaks between lessons where your kids could check in with you?

They are old enough to stay home but 5 hours radio silence would freak me out too!